My boyfriend and i been together for 3 mons. In the first weeks he is sweet and initiates text all the time. We only communicate via text as he is lazy calling me. We spend quality time only once a week. Now things changed like he never text that often i confronted him through text and phone call asking why he is ignoring me and he said i worry too much and that i should relax myself. He said the reason why he is acting this way is because of pressure at work. He said he will call but did not. When i text him about hows his day been...he replied in a nice way but does not want to talk because he is tired. He said that sometime i over react to tiny things...like texting. Its been two weeks now that he is acting like this. My friend said i should give him space maybe he is really pressured at work but i am not convinced.
Is there a problem in our relationship? Do you think he is doing this deliberately to push me away and so i initiate the break up?Is this his way of breaking up?
2007-09-20 23:15:32 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
your friend is right. Happens to most people but they often get back together.
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http://relationship-doctor.blogspot.com
2007-09-20 23:17:54 · answer #1 · answered by AYOOZe 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
3 months does not make love as it takes so much more...keep that thought in mind, Brazilian...
It's time for you to prepare for the worst...it's time to accept things for what they are and simply move on...
Definitely, his "possible" problems at work are not his reasoning because he would be wanting to be closer to you during his rough times, if he loved you, and not be drifting away...
Obviously, he has lost interest in your relationship and does not want to hurt you by saying so... Whether he has found another girl or is thinking of doing so, does not matter. The only thing that matters is the obvious...he has lost interest in you; nothing else...!
You cannot "save" him, so do not even try. The guy you want in your life will put you above all things and turn to you for sharing his prolems as well as your own...
A relationship of love is a two way street that you cannot walk alone. It can only be walked together with hands holding hands. If one steps away and creates lies to explain it then it is obvious there was no real love to begin with...just infatuation...!
Don't wait for the heart breaking words from him as he may never go that far. Instead, do yourself and him a favour by making the next move...
See him, preferably, or call him, and tell him it would be best you had some space between and more freedom to move around while still wanting his friendship to grow...
Right now he is avoiding his commitment to you and should not be pressured to explain why. Perhaps with passing time he may realize how much he has lost of you, but telling him that will prove nothing. He must go his own way and learn from experience, as you must also...
Meanwhile, you must move on also, Brazilian, and face the truth. Love cannot succeed unless both feel the same love together. Then, it cannot be divided...
2007-09-20 23:53:49 · answer #2 · answered by farplaces 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, I don't think it's pressure at work at all. Seriously, pressure at work? That's the most stupid excuse I've ever heard of. In reality, people experiencing problems at work tend to want to be comforted and close to someone they love. Not only that, if it was pressure at work, he'd be calling you and talking to you an hour about it, letting loose all his problems he's having there. I can't see that being the real reason. He's either trying to break up with you, without actually saying I want to break up, or, he's an asshole and he's seeing another woman behind your back. Hopefully it's none of those and he's telling the truth, but most likely cheating or breaking up. Don't mean to worry you, just giving my honest opinion. Even though you may want to be with him still, I'd call him and tell him you guys think you should spend more time away from eachother or take a break. See his reaction and go from there.
Good luck with everything though and hope he's not cheating
2007-09-20 23:22:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It has only been 3 months. Just think about how he will be treating you in 3 years. Don't wait for him to break up. Leave his butt first. I just got rid of one like that. If I did not know better I would say we were dating the same guy. come to find out, I was not the only one that he was texting and seeing once a week. He had divided his time up among all of "his girls"!!! We all got the same texts once in awhile. He actually had them programmed into his phone so that he did not have to keep redoing them. lol When he was with one of us the others heard how tired he was. We all got one day a week to see him. What a player!!! I was the lucky one. It only took me 3 weeks to find out what he was doing. The rest of them are still playing his game!!!
2007-09-20 23:30:34 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he says its pressure from work, so I hope after being together for 3 months you have a bit of trust. Instead of making the pressure worse by being a typical, annoying, overstressed girlfriend... try and see if you can support/help him in any way. He goes to work stressed out, to only get off work to a million questions from YOU... (adding more stress because he has to assure you he wants to be with you) Im not trying to come off rude either, so dont take it that way. I just mean, communication is key... and if you have none then you're going no where. He might not want to break up with you, but his life with this stressed work environment might not be something you want in a boyfriend, so ask yourself that. Can he give you the attention you want?
2007-09-20 23:29:43 · answer #5 · answered by Jeff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time will tell. Meanwhile, believe him and give him some space. Sounds like you are a bit needy. Sometimes there are deadlines to be met at work, and employees can't be spending time on the phone texting. Bosses tend to notice that and interpret it as goofing off. Perhaps he's been warned. He's being paid to work, after all, not to text girlfriend. As long as he sees you once a week, as usual, it appears he is being truthful. None of us have crystal balls, you know.
2007-09-20 23:29:30 · answer #6 · answered by Kitty39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say this, but you might want to be prepared for a breakup soon. You just described basically the same exact thing thats happened with my last boyfriend who broke up with me a few days ago after about two months. It's probably not that he doesn't like you or anything like that, but he is really busy and he might break up with you because he knows at the moment he can't make you happy.
2007-09-20 23:22:48 · answer #7 · answered by crystal_of_ravenclaw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. its liek looking in a mirror. me and my gf went through the same thing. heres your answer! give him space! your acting too clingy. at teh start of a relationship its ok to talk all the time and text/what not. my gf did the same thing then after about 4 months in it started to drive me nuts. so i turned off my phone for about 6 months. nothing worse than a hards days work coming home to check your phone to see 15 miss calls. just calm down and relax. and call maybe once a day
2007-09-20 23:25:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm how bout this.. i dont know the whole story, maybe you are bugging him and maybe not. Just give him some space for say a week and then ask him "hey were is our relationship at right now" if he sounds hasty, he probably wants no go in the relationship, if he was really busy, he would make it up for you. Give him some space at first, and see how things end up like.
2007-09-20 23:24:09 · answer #9 · answered by <3 miss sis <3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say this but he is cheating on you.Pressure is just an excuse to keep you off his back believe me i know what i'm talking about.It might be the fact that he doesn't want you anymore but has no guts to tell you.Or maybe he just wants to see how much do you care.Just call him and have a serious chat with him before he breaks your heart.
2007-09-20 23:40:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to just chill. Let him call you. Stop being the one to initiate it. Hard to get works a lot better then being there all the time (I mean that by always being around, never wondering where you are.... you don't give him time to miss you)
One word to take to heart
OVERKILL
2007-09-20 23:24:47 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋