How do we treat familys outside of islam?

Question

Well hi i am a muslima and my question is , How do we as muslims embrace a situation when it comes to kin folks outside our belifs? Muslims only. Reason being is because i have a husband and he has a Child with someone who is not a muslim and the child is in an adoption agency,but the mother is still around ,and so how should his behavior be towards her ? and please serious inquries only, and if you have any Hadith or Qu'ranic Surahs or Iatts or Bible Scrpitures that with help please post them so that I can check this information to comfirm it. P.s Oh yeah to let you all know what happened with my huband took place before we embraced islam to assure any curiosity. We just need to know how to deal with it now. thanks and have a nice day Asa lama lakim

Answer 1

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) once said that a person who cares for an orphaned child will be in Paradise with him, and motioned to show that they would be as close as two fingers of a single hand. An orphan himself, Muhammad paid special attention to the care of children. He himself adopted a former slave and raised him with the same care as if he were his own son.

However, the Qur'an gives specific rules about the legal relationship between a child and his/her adoptive family. The child's biological family is never hidden; their ties to the child are never severed. The Qur'an specifically reminds adoptive parents that they are not the child's biological parents:

"...Nor has He made your adopted sons your (biological) sons. Such is (only) your (manner of) speech by your mouths. But Allah tells (you) the Truth, and He shows the (right) Way. Call them by (the names of) their fathers; that is juster in the sight of Allah. But if you know not their father's (names, call them) your brothers in faith, or your trustees. But there is no blame on you if you make a mistake therein. (What counts is) the intention of your hearts. And Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful."

(Qur'an 33:4-5)

The guardian/child relationship has specific rules under Islamic law, which render the relationship a bit different than what is common adoption practice today. The Islamic term for what is commonly called adoption is kafala, which comes from a word that means "to feed." In essence, it describes more of a foster-parent relationship. Some of the rules in Islam surrounding this relationship:

An adopted child retains his or her own biological family name (surname) and does not change his or her name to match that of the adoptive family.
An adopted child inherits from his or her biological parents, not automatically from the adoptive parents.
When the child is grown, members of the adoptive family are not considered blood relatives, and are therefore not muhrim to him or her. "Muhrim" refers to a specific legal relationship that regulates marriage and other aspects of life. Essentially, members of the adoptive family would be permissible as possible marriage partners, and rules of modesty exist between the grown child and adoptive family members of the opposite sex.
If the child is provided with property/wealth from the biological family, adoptive parents are commanded to take care and not intermingle that property/wealth with their own. They serve merely as trustees.
These Islamic rules emphasize to the adoptive family that they are not taking the place of the biological family -- they are trustees and caretakers of someone else's child. Their role is very clearly defined, but nevertheless very valued and important.

It is also important to note that in Islam, the extended family network is vast and very strong. It is rare for a child to be completely orphaned, without a single family member to care for him or her. Islam places a great emphasis on the ties of kinship -- a completely abandoned child is practically unheard of. Islamic law would place an emphasis on locating a relative to care for the child, before allowing someone outside of the family, much less the community or country, to adopt and remove the child from his or her familial, cultural, and religious roots. This is especially important during times of war, famine, or economic crisis -- when families may be temporarily uprooted or divided.

"Did He not find you an orphan and give you shelter? And He found you wandering, and He gave you guidance. And He found you in need, and made you independent. Therefore, treat not the orphan with harshness, nor drive away a petitioner (unheard). But the bounty of the Lord - rehearse and proclaim!"

(Qur'an 93:6-11)

for more information visit

http://www.angelfire.com/la/IslamicView/Adoption.html

http://www.readingislam.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1123996015750&pagename=IslamOnline-English-AAbout_Islam/AskAboutIslamE/AskAboutIslamE

http://www.masjidtucson.org/submission/perspectives/more/family/adoption.html

Answer 2

Okay doesn't it say something to you that you have embraced a religion without understanding the very rudimentary basics of it? How you treat your family members should be something you figure out BEFORE you make such a great change of faith. I mean really, how do you know you want to even be in Islam if you don't know this most basic of basic things? Look hard hard hard inside your heart in the deepness of spaces and ask yourself have you embraced this religion because you really feel drawn to it, or is is just a way to be spiritual without conforming to Christianity? Because there are lots of paths to peace with God that make this question really moot. If you know God in your heart, you don't need to be sweating about what some moldy old books say because you actually KNOW what is expected. Following God should not depend on your reading comprehension or your adaptive interpretation of ancient texts. When you actually know God, then you no longer need to second guess yourself or wonder what is right and wrong because it is written clearly in the passages of your heart.

Answer 3

I'm not Muslim, but I would hope your religion would somehow help you and your husband love his son enough to raise him yourselves rather than giving him up for adoption.

I just don't get that at all.

And if the mother is still around, why has she put the baby up for adoption? Your husband has a financial obligation to her and the baby as well, if she wanted to raise the baby herself.

I think you all need to set aside your differences and put the past behind you, and all of you adults do what is right and just for that baby.

That is what a decent person of any faith would do.

Answer 4

Well, waalaikum salam.. I'm giving my opinion. You should take care of the child and treat them as ajnabi (not mahram). You have to be nice and show that Islam is a true religion. Try to da'wah with the child and his mother. If its not working, just treat them as everyone else ( of course you should treat muslims more )...

Answer 5

Is it not written: "Love your neighbour as yourself" or "Do onto others, as you would have them do onto you". These two gems of knowledge will provide you with good relationships with others.

Answer 6

first of all muslims are not allowed to adopt children,Muhmmad has married his adopted son's wife to make it clear for muslims not to adopt

Answer 7

Maybe you would treat them like this, if you're a really devout Moslem:

http://www.apostatesofislam.com/media/stoning.htm

Answer 8

treat em like humans