or get married???
serious answers only please
2007-09-20 17:40:39 · 16 answers · asked by eleshiak 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
1. have they had sex already? if yes then they ain't good.
2. (for me) are they a truely devoted Christian (thats just me cuz i don't know if ur Christian or not)
3. ask yourself do you really love them or are you just physically attached to them?
4. is he in love with you?
5. will they stick with you? actually keep the vows they make at the alter?
that's all i can think of right now.....but i'll get back ot you later when i think of more stuff!
2007-09-20 17:51:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
1) Yourself. You change throughout your entire life, but you change the most when you are young. I would hold off on accepting that engagement if you are under the age of 25, or at least put off the marraige until after you are 25.
2) Do you both want the same things? I.E, do you both want kids? Do you both want to end up in the same place (suburbia, city apartment, ect)? Many people will agree to certain things in order to make their mate happy & get them to agree to marry them, thinking that they will change their mind down the road. Sometimes they do, but often they don't.
3) Education. Are the both of you seeking long term education? Is one of you not willing to go to college? This may not seem like a biggie, but more relationships come to an end because people don't see eye to eye on this.
4) Sexual compatibility. There's no shame in admitting that you aren't sexually into him/her. If your sex life is fizzling even before the two of you have been married for a few years, then there is a serious problem that needs to be addressed.
5) How well do you know him/her? So many people get engaged quickly before they really know this person. Living together & merely dating each other (and living apart) are two different things.
6) When to get married? Yeah, it may be a long way off, but you may want to discuss dates, even if it is more along the lines of Summer 2010 or Fall 2009.
7) Employment/Money. Is s/he working at McDonalds or are they working as a highly paid lawyer? Are they willing to find a better job? Do they have problems holding down a job. Love is not all you need. You need a job & money to pay the bills as well.
8) Spending. This may be along the lines of money, but you need to know each other's spending habits. If he's going out to blow a whole paycheck on SuperBowl tickets without you knowing, then you may want to have a sitdown to discuss finances. Many couples argue over this heavily.
9) Compatibility. This actually belongs higher up on the list, but if you are getting engaged I assume that you have a good compatibility rate (not including the sexual compatibility). If you are already fighting 80% of the time, or if he is showing signs of being abusive, then you will want to wait.
10) Compromise. You need this to have a successful relationship. Maybe one of you is acting like a baby, but someone is going to need to bend. If you can't reach a happy medium, then you may want to rethink the whole engagement thing.
2007-09-21 00:56:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about 10, but you need to be fairly close in agreement on how to spend money, how and what to save for, how many and when to have kids, will both work or one stay home, and questions like that. Once you are married, get a mortgage, and have kids a lot of things you don't really think about now become very important and can cause a lot of strife. We talked about these things and have been happily married for 7 years.
2007-09-21 00:50:28 · answer #3 · answered by Quant 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
1. Health 2.Credit 3.Employment history 4. Family 5. Insurance 6. Background 7. Long Range Plan 8. Carrer Asp[irations 9. Family Orientated 10. Personality....
2007-09-21 00:48:37 · answer #4 · answered by nyc033 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
1 hygene is a must 2 does he have a job? 3 does he love kids? 4 doe he like pets? 5 does he dress up for occasions? 6 is he a gentlemen? 6 doe he like your family? 7 is he serious? 8 does he have a vehicle that can take you out on occasion? 9 does he love you? 10 how old is his age?
2007-09-21 00:53:56 · answer #5 · answered by Garfield 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the things that should be included in your relatiohsip ::
1. honesty factor.
2. trust factor.
3. open communication (easy to handle.)
4. no one sided opinions you both have to be open and listen to each other even if you think they are wrong.
5. compromise
6. faith in each other.
7. support
8. caregiving from both
9. knows how to handle good and bad situations amongst you and your setting and others around you and any and each factor that involves you as a couple.
10. dont go against one another when someone attacks you, dont be on defense, even if the situation merges to where the other one is completely wrong. if by chance for example the guy is wrong, when a situation comes up and he is completely wrong, take his defense! dont ever go against him even if he is fabulo wrong when it comes in the play of 'someone' else. stand by him thru thick and thin and especially if someone is on the defensive about him and dont let anyone talk about your spouse to you! tell them that if they have something to say about em keep the opinon to themselves, but by all means like i said even if he is dead wrong, dont disrespect and go against him or especially try to embarrass him in front of someone or anyone. it will time to say your pleas in private. and also what ever is in the home and household should stay there amongst you two, not your family your friends nor the neighbor hood. keep your bizness under lock. realise you will be a couple. no longer cingular. everything shoud be "TEAM EFFORTS" good luck. thats my top ten.
2007-09-21 00:58:40 · answer #6 · answered by ing3r im m3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is my purpose in life?
What is the other person's life purpose and are our purposes compatible and complimentary?
Are we very attracted to each other, physically, sexually, emotionally?
Are our values like work ethic, honest, integrity, faithfuness, cleanliness, faith, attitudes, socialness, education, children, family, etc...compatible?
Do we each bring unique strengths to the relationship?
Does this person treat me with love, respect, graciousness...is he giving, generous, openminded, trustworthy, dependable?
Do I geniunely respect, trust, like, and want to really commit my life to caring for this man (even after all the excitement and sexual tension has worn off)? Am I really ready to stop flirting with all other guys?
Will our families/children be really difficult? If so, am I willing to put up with that?
Do we agree on finances, working, career goals, moving, community/church involvement.
Would I rather be with this person that anyone else in the world? Do we laugh and have fun together? Can I tell him anything? Is he safe for me to lean on?
Are we both equally committed to the idea of being a couple for the rest of our lives?
2007-09-21 01:12:58 · answer #7 · answered by angieblossom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1- Are we in Love
2-Are we compatible/Do we get along/healthy relationship
3-Are we financially stable
4-Emotional readiness to commit
5-Can we both see us married to each other 20 years from now?
6-Family plans(big deal if the girl wants to have kids and he doesn't)
7-Career goals, could be an issue if you want to work for the White House and he wants to farm in S.Dakota.
8- Where do you want to live (do you want to move away from your family to be closer to him or hers).
9- Family history
10- Know someone long enough to know the answer to these questions and to see how they handle difficult situations
2007-09-21 01:07:32 · answer #8 · answered by AMR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. respect for each other..2. does he/she make me laugh...3 can you trust him/her....4.do i trust my self....5. can you still stand by your opinion even when its different then his/hers...6. when im scard does he/she make me feel safe 7. does he/she show my family and friends the same respect has he/she does me....8. when im scared does he/she make me feel safe....9.do we both feel the same way about having children and how they will be raised (punishment /faith/etc..)and 10.in 60 years can i see us setting rocking , and still holding hands....this is just what you need to ask your self before you get married.there a whole other list for after you get married...p.s i repeated 6 and 8 because it the most inportant
2007-09-21 01:20:33 · answer #9 · answered by BLOODHOUND 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is 10 important question but 1.
(1) Do you love the person?
If yes, then there's nothing more to know before you say I do.
2007-09-21 00:47:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋