(Eating disorder help) I am a recovering addict of many things. I have a very addictive personality.?

Question

I have had alot of up and downs with drinking, a bit of drugs, and mainly my weight. I was diagnosed with anorxia and used to be bulimic, though nobody knew. My highest weight was 130 and lowest 92 (from laxatives) I was 92 about a month ago and I am now 103.(I'm 20and 5'7)I try so hard to eat and be normal around food but I just can't. I starve then binge and feel so gross and dont even know what I should eat anymore. I haven't thrown up in awhile and vowed not to take laxatives. I am having a VERY HARD TIME. I pretty much look pregnant from eating or drinking anything. Its so unfair. My laxative abuse lasted awhile so I know my bodys still all messed up. Will my body start absorbing foods normally and digesting right? I almost want to give up b/c I'm tired of looking bloated all the time and constantly thinking about food. I get really bad anxiety about way to much stuff. And I compulsively exercise sometimes- but try not to b/c that makes me binge. I also have bad mood swings. HELP

thank you for everyones replies!

Answer 1

Try small amounts of food more often. A cup of yogurt at 9am, a banana or piece of fruit at 11am, half of a sandwich or cup of soup at 1pm, crackers and cheese or peanut butter on celery at 3pm, small portions at dinner, another snack at 7pm and one at 9pm. Make absolutely sure you are drinking enough water- keep a water bottle close by and every time you look at it take a sip.
It will help you not to look bloated from larger portions consumed all at once, help you not to get ravenous and binge, helps keep your blood sugar at an even level which in turn will help your moods stay level. Keep away from food with dye in it, refined sugar and caffeine.
If you set it up in the morning or have a family member do it,so all your foods are ready, you won't have to think about it so much.
It will take time for your body to return to a "normal" state. You may need to have a physical and let the doctor know you've had some issues in case you need medication to jump start the food absorbtion process. You are gaining some weight so it must be processing some of what you take in. And because you are so very thin, the inner workings of your digestive system are more apparent on the outside.
Be patient with yourself! You are working around some major issues that cannot be fixed overnight! Be very, very proud of what you have accomplished and DO NOT GIVE UP!
I will suggest counselling by a therapist that specializes in eating disorders when you are ready. They could be a good support person to have near when you are feeling like giving up.

Answer 2

Holy Moly, you are just like me (and I am 20 too!)! I take a sip of water and I look 5 months pregnant! I was anorexic for a while as well: highest weight 120 lowest weight 77....I am five foot two so a bit shorter than you. At the moment I weigh 97 pounds unless I am extremely bloated which does happen quite often: ugh! It is so hard to overcome eating habits! What is your living situation like? What sort of foods do you eat? I have restricted my diet a lot and only eat meats/fish & vegetables...and I work out every day for 96-101 minutes(yea, weird times I know, haha) and so far my life seems to be just fine. I try very hard not to think about the food & scale and it really does seem to help! I took laxatives for the longest time too and stopping those was def. a dream come true because when I took them well...I HAD NO SOCIAL LIFE because I was on the toilet ALL NIGHT! I think you need to just take one step at a time, you stopped the laxatives which is the first step, the second step is to maybe talk to someone about these issues? I never did because well, I never wanted to feel like a "lab rat" but for some people it helps! Sadly, the bloating does not go away too much....or maybe it is just because I eat a lot at my meals: after all I only eat 2 food groups so I allow myself to. Another reason why I may be bloated is because I chew a lot of gum...do you? If so that is def. the reason why you are bloated!
What I do know though is that you need to gain weight but in a healthy way! Eat whole grains, fiber rich vegetables & lean meats (fish, chicken, grass-fed beef, bison, etc)...I really do hope you get over this!

Answer 3

You're out of control. Stop thinking about all of that stuff at once. It's too many things to worry about. Just try to concentrate on eating things that are good for you and make you feel good. Promise that you won't stare at yourself in the mirror obsessing or worry about what you look like for a month. Then see how you feel. It's only a month.

Answer 4

Hey, I'm the same exact way. I have a really addictive personality.. and i usually keep things inside so i blow up and have really bad mood swingss as well.. I still have bulimia and weird eating habits and tons of anxiety. and people always assume that i'm fine because i don't "look" like I have problems and stuff.. Like.. Idk what to tell you to change you and make you better.. because it's just SOMETHING that no1 can change but you .. You have to just develop healthy habits and try.. and focus more on getting mentally healthy then physically looking good... u'll be finee trust me

Answer 5

You would do well to join a 12 step program, and find people who have had the same problems as you. I have had family members with other abuse problems and these always help. Most importantly is to know you just can't do it alone. Good Luck to you.

Answer 6

honey you are probably drop dead gorgeous, but because YOU think you look fat or whatever the circumstances, you do these things to your body. Center yourself around friends and people who are going to have a positive effect on your life and who will help you get through this ordeal. The support will help you out a lot!

Answer 7

you need to go to the doctor to ensure that there are no tears in your digestive tract. This is important, it could kill you. And of course, of course, please seek counseling. An addictive personality isn't an easy thing to have, and it will take a lot of discipline on your part to keep yourself on the straight and narrow.

Answer 8

Wow this is a hard one. I would say say away from the drugs and start slow eating. let ur body take little by little potions of food in so u wont lose weight. eat things that ur body wont through up...lik try eatin fast foods. i would also recommend u start working out more. go c a personal trainer n c wat they can do 4 u.

Answer 9

Please, try calling this number, the people here should be able to help you...

Eating Disorders Awareness & Prevention Hotline

1-800-931-2237

Help for Eating Disorders

Answer 10

I would suggest medication to control your behavior,they have amazing mind drugs that you can take ease your pain.