I am a HAPPILY married woman, to a HAPPILY married military man, are marriage is not perfect, but we do not lie, cheat, or steal from each other. I am not lazy, fat, or with my husband because its an easy way out, I do all the housework, I cry every night while I patiently wait for him to come back home, and what do I feel like society has given me? a big slap in the face! Ive heard military wives being described as fat, slutty, slobs, that use their husband for the money (what money I ask) and that we are only with them because we dont want to get a job, I work VERY hard, and I am only with a military man, because my husband is in the military, there is no glitz or glam that comes with this heartache, I have had people walk up to my husband and thank him for all he does, and at the same time they look over at me and give me a look from hell, if you really want to support my husband who is in Iraq, you would respect his family, why do so many people hate military wives? is it jealousy
2007-09-20 17:36:05 · 15 answers · asked by This girl 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
I am still a Marine wife and have been one for 7 years. I still get that from people. I constantly have people saying I'm high maintenance and am with my husband for money. But what they dont know is I've been with him since I was 15 years old, before the Marine Corps. And never have cheated on him and work with cancer patients. I am now pregnant with our second child. Military wives are not always slobs, cheaters, or with the men for their money. I say not always because I have met some military wives that have met that criteria. I believe its those women, who ruin it for the decent ones. Good luck. It gets better. It has for me when they realized after 4 deployments I was still there and had remained faithful and still looked attractive. People finally ease up.
2007-09-21 05:09:04 · answer #1 · answered by momto1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The 'job' of a military wife is, in many respects, just as tough as the one her husband bears and it takes a special woman to be the spouse of a military guy. It's not for everyone as attested to by the high divorce rate in the military.
Unfortunately, not many civilians understand the wife has to become head of the household when her husband is deployed. She has to assume control over all those daily things her husband would normally do and make all the decisions even when she'd love to have her husband's advice on some of them and some women are totally unprepared to take on the added burden. I don't think you are one of those women.
It's the popular thing to pat the serviceman on the back, wish him good luck and such when he's deployed but not many people understand how important the military wife is during that time.
I don't think people hate military wives. They'd have to know you and have some reason to hate you. They don't understand the very important link between you and your soldier husband have or the stress of going from day to day not knowing what kind of danger he may face.
My ex-wife was a jewel of a military wife and handled things wonderfully any time I had to deploy anywhere. We planned for unexpected things and discussed everything ahead of time and she found things to do to handle the stress while I was gone. We divorced for other reasons, but as a military spouse, she was great in every other respect.
It's a tough job and, like I said, it takes a special woman to be a military wife. Be special, you'll do fine in the long run. Hang it there, it gets better.
2007-09-21 02:14:59 · answer #2 · answered by Chris L 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you so much on this. My husband is in Iraq right now. He was part of the "surge" and I really don't know when he will be home. I hate the labels that they give to military wives, and the ones given to our husbands. It's heart breaking to hear people talk this way and stereotype military wives like that. But I have also had a few understanding people tell me how hard of a job it is to be a military wife. All I know is that I am going to school, and pregnant with our first child (I'm not even sure if he'll be home for the birth), and neither of us would dream of cheating. I get through every single day only on the thought of being one day closer to having my husband home. I'm not in it for the money, or the "man in uniform" factor. I was his wife before he was a soldier, and I will be his wife long after.
I'm so glad to hear another military wife feels the same (even though I knew most had to).
Thank you for supporting your husband, and for being strong enough to have one of the toughest jobs in the world.
2007-09-21 01:30:18 · answer #3 · answered by Jessica 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I don't feel shafted at all by society. I think the problem is, most military wives EXPECT handouts and to be praised to no end, and when that doesnt happen, it is seen as being 'shafted'. I get treated normally, not better, not worse. As far as wives being described as fat slutty slobs? Well the husbands are the ones saying those things, so it is not society, but your own husbands saying those things. And to be honest, a lot of the times, those terms are true. Not trying to be mean but most wives around this post are overweight. I know of many who cheat while thier husbands are gone. So i dont think those things are being said without reason.
2007-09-21 12:16:02 · answer #4 · answered by Cass 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
That sounds real bad, but I've never heard of other military wives being shafted this way. There is no point in your husbsand fighting a war if some clowns back home wear you down. Just brush it off, be strong and continue. Life goes on.
2007-09-21 00:45:28 · answer #5 · answered by St. Bastard 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is not just the Military wives. Us mothers of Military have a lot to put up with sometimes too. People call my son a killer, says he poisons Iraqi water supply, that he rapes young girls, it is endless.
One sweet lady said that the reason my son is in Iraq is due only to oil, and if he is killed, well, he deserves whatever he gets.
Know what? A few months after that comment, her son was killed in a car accident.
Did he deserve that? Of course not!
Wonder if she has ever thought about the mean things she said to me?
Anyway, just want you to know I understand your feelings, and salute you as a loyal Military wife.
Keep that head held high, sweetheart!!!
2007-09-21 01:30:25 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I am a civilian now. And military Brat also. I know what you do. I heard my mom cry year after year. Saw her take care of 5 of us kids. Alone. year after year.
Don't let them get to you.
The opinion of people that wont do anything to help their country, its soldiers and families, still have the right to talk crap, but it don't mean a thing.
I hear so much hatred today against the USA and it's troops, the police and anybody who doesn't agree with them. It don't mean a thing.
Your husband is fighting for those who love this country. I thank him and you for supporting him. The rest of the people can kiss my A*s.
God Bless you and yours
2007-09-21 01:33:54 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There is something amiss here.No sane or decent person would ever do a thing like this to any army wife,except in rarest of the rare cases and what for?That doesn't mean that you aren't speaking truth.I think it's more of the strain on you due to prolonged absence of your husband than anything serious.Try to divert your routine,visit some family members or friends or some hobbies.Trust that the nation is with you and your family.All the best.
2007-09-21 01:40:00 · answer #8 · answered by brkshandilya 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The people who say such rude,inconsiderate things about military wives usually are the people who have no idea what it takes to be one,specially now.So please,totally disregard their comments and know that this nation owes a great debt of gratitude to the wives and mothers of our troops.
2007-09-21 03:33:12 · answer #9 · answered by Georgewasmyfavorite 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
hi i am a army wife and a i totally understand how you feel.
It takes a very strong person to be a army wife, we are the ones who hold the family together when they go away on tour.
I personlly think these people that say this about us have no idea at all what we go through, they are just jealous of what we have,their husbands are proberly lay a bouts, who spend all their time getting drunk and having kids just to get a house.
2007-09-21 05:01:52 · answer #10 · answered by jenlouise 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋