I'm a young adult now and there's this girl that I've been very close friends for years now and I know I'm in love with her, me and her are just a like but in those years I never asked her and then when I went to college i decided that i would just wait to go out with her after I get out of college but in the time she had a boyfriend that they have been dating for a couple years now and she is now pregnant, which she is still a teen and know she isn't happy. What should I do? Should I try and get with her (which I think I'm pretty sure she feels the same way about me) or should I let them be a family? I don't know what to do, it's been on my mind for months now, I know my family would be very against it and I know my friends would clown me but I know I love her and most of me just wants to be with her... any advice will be helpfull, I'm just lost
2007-09-20 17:35:06 · 13 answers · asked by Nemesis R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
how do you know she isn't happy w/ him? how did you gauge her happiness? did she tell you frankly about it? and inspite of her unhappiness w/ him, was she still willing to go for it some more? if she'd still stick to him "JUST BECAUSE SHE'S PREGNANT" ask her if she "love" him. if she says "yes", don't continue reading my response coz that only means that their relationship is a one-way traffic (she gives, he just takes) & she'll just bound for martyrdom. but if she says "no" & she's just sticking around coz of what happened, there might be a light at the end of the tunner....ask her like "what if there would be someone out there who would love you & take care of you inspite of everything?". try to penetrate into her eyes when you shoot this question as as if trying to tell her "i'm here".
just remember: love is worthy dying for; if you love her even when the journey is hell-like, it's still feels like heaven; hope for the best but expect the worst (that she doesn't love you afterall); love is like a photo lab -- it develops. good luck.
2007-09-20 18:09:16 · answer #1 · answered by Thunder Clap 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look you've known her for years, so that makes you a friend so be one, drop in, say hello, talk over some old times, friends etc. ask her out for a coffee, just not on a date, that would be disrespectful to her bf and relationship, but many women with bf's think their in love untill Mr. Right came along, and many times they have known each other in the past. And I know better than most that sometimes only when a woman is pregnant, she relizes that the bf isn't Mr. Right but remains because she is pregnant and feel incredably trapped,foolish, lonely and scared, near the end of the pregnancy or shortly after the baby comes the stress becomes too much and it all breaks down. Your being there could be the best thing that ever happen to either of you. I can't guarantee this is the case but being her friend will allow you the time to find out and her the time to relize that your the one she has feeling for. Only time will tell. good luck.
2007-09-21 01:05:37 · answer #2 · answered by ferochira 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately, you have to do what is best for you. Not your family, not your friends, but you! If you really care about this person, I think that you should share those feelings with her. You don't know for sure that just because she's pregnant that she and this other guy will be a "family". We all know that it takes more then just biological ties to make a real family.
What this girl probably needs is support and that's something to keep in mind too. In addition to the fact that are you prepared to take on a new role now that she is expecting a baby? How would you feel about that? Just somethings to keep in mind and ask yourself, or that you two need to discuss together. But I really think that if you really feel this way, you need to get it off of your chest. Good Luck!
2007-09-21 00:43:51 · answer #3 · answered by MoonGoddess 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well, are you 100% sure that she feels the same way about you? are you sure she doesn't love the father of the child she's bearing? are you sure she's not happy with him? are you willing and ready to stand up by her side no matter what happened? even if it means that you have to sacrifice your relationship with your parents? if you answer yes to all of these questions, then i say yes! go ahead and talk to her! tell her how you really feel about her! tell her how much you love her and how much you care for her! and that you're willing to take all the risks just to be with her! after all, it's the real essence of true love. it conquers all! and if you really love each other that much then no one or nothing can come between you! b'coz love...true love is so powerful that no man can destroy it! good luck! ^_^
2007-09-21 01:02:41 · answer #4 · answered by kalansangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'd say talk to her and tell her that you have feelings for her and you know they're not going to go away. back off after that and give her time to think things through. if she's happy, she'll stay where she is and you'll have to accept that. if she's not, then she might just need a friend right now. maybe you can start a relationship with her sooner than you think
2007-09-21 00:40:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to show you're an adult and let your romantic intentions for her go. Be a friend to her, her "husband," and the baby. If I'm the dad and you move on her, I will find a way to make you pay and pay dearly.
2007-09-21 00:40:51 · answer #6 · answered by Net Rider 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
right now just kinda be there for support. let her boyfriend and her talk out what they want to do about the baby( fetus) and if the two decide to split wait a couple weeks or so and talk to her about how your feeling.
2007-09-21 00:40:27 · answer #7 · answered by bounceyflutechik 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She will have to decide what she wants first... I say be there for her, but if she wants to try and make this thing work with this other guy for the child giver her her space, so call her up and just talk to her and maybe she will want you in her life.
2007-09-21 00:41:20 · answer #8 · answered by Katie W 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No you are not lost.. just be good friend with her because if anything back fire and she go back to him, how would that make you look.. that is one big red flag to watch out for.. you are playing with fire.
2007-09-21 00:40:59 · answer #9 · answered by K_LOVE 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u should wait until she has the baby. u could be pretty sure she feels the same way but when she has that baby she is gonna be focused on the baby's father. they have a connection that no one can break. i say wait until she is completely over him.
2007-09-21 00:42:34 · answer #10 · answered by complicated 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋