Don't know if you've seen this one before folks but well worth another look!
* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $100 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a bad example to others.
* Never buy a car you can't push.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
* Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
* The second mouse gets the cheese.
* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
* We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull,
Some have weird names , and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
2007-09-20 17:27:14 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles