i had a very tuff childood and it seems like things just dont effect me no more. I have sex with random people all the time sometimes i protect myslef sometimes i dont. I really don't love who iam. i lie. i give up. and deep down i really want to care about my life. i really want to change but i just can't. I'm afraid i will begin to care when i's to late ( when i'm hiv postive, or when something other dramtic event happens in my life) This is a frist step for me saying how feel. i just need advice a real friend i can't make it in this life alone help me please
( i was never really taught in values in mylife) i was an overweight child with parents on drug i really do know how to focus and i really feel the pressure now because my life is in my hand now.
info
I'm nineteen
An Afican American Male
Gay
2007-09-20 16:27:01 · 23 answers · asked by david 2 in Health ➔ Other - Health
Well, just "hang" in there! Don't "kill" too much time thinking of sad thoughts! Try not to "overdose," "drown" or get all "choked up" over stress! Maybe all of this will eventually "go away" with time! Don't "jump" to conclusions just yet! There is a happy person in you just "dying" to come out! Things should be much better when all the "smoke" clears! Bring back the "fire" and energy in you! It will sure be a big "blast!" =<)
2007-09-20 17:04:39 · answer #1 · answered by Sir Grandmaster Adler von Chase 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
None of us makes it on his own. You don't say where you live, and believe me that makes a big difference to gay men in this country. Gays do much better in cities where there are larger support systems and it is easier to meet people. Cities are generally more sophisticated about diversity than small towns. The two coasts are better than the middle of the country. Work is also an important factor in being happy.
However, since your case seems a bit extreme my first suggestion is to find a therapist to talk to about this. Be sure you find someone who is not going to try to tell you that being gay is a sickness or a sin. It is neither. Promiscuity is not fulfilling for all. Only the most totally self-assured can get away with it without ultimately feeling used. I think you really need a good friend first and a sex partner second. But even before that you need to feel good about yourself. I'm sure there are many things about you that are very worthwhile. Obviously you are sensitive and self-aware. Don't focus on just the negative aspects of your upbringing. As you say, you are now in control of your life. Whereever you live there must be nearby some kind of GLBT support group.
2007-09-28 11:10:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello. I think that you should try to find something in your life that you are interested in and pursue it. If you really don't like having sex with so many different people, don't do it for a while or ever again. Stay at home and try to discipline yourself into studying your new found interest no matter what it may be.
Your childhood is in the past now and you are an adult with the ability to be however and whoever you want to be.
Masturbate more and have sex less. You can still go out and meet people but try to do it in a way which won't neccessarily result in a sexual encounter. Just cut back on the partners and spend more time with yourself and something else that interests you, whatever that might be.
The only question you have to answer is how and who do you want to be, if you are not what or how you want yourself to be, then strive towards being that way. The past is behind you and the future waits in front of you it's up to you to change your life.
Good luck on your journey.
2007-09-20 16:50:50 · answer #3 · answered by marccat80 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The first thing you need to do is to want to change. So you are 1 step in the right direction. You are very young and at 19 have a lot of time to see that life can actually be good. Now, the next step is to get help from someone that can assist you in getting the rest of the way there as we can only advise you on what we think will help but are not in your shoes to see everything that has happened to you. You need to practice healthier sexual habits to give your self a chance to live. I would strongly advise you ask your doctor where to go next for help and if you have spiritual guidance to ask for help. You need to get support from all those that are there for you. Ask for there help and believe in yourself that the world can be a brighter place. Good luck and God bless!!!!
2007-09-25 05:41:38 · answer #4 · answered by Penny D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're afraid of any kind of success, because once you achieve it, you could fail. Then you would hurt again, I think you are just in a rut. Please believe in God and pray for him to give you some strength to get out of your depression. I know you must care about life or you wouldn't be so scared of dying, before you acomplish something. Start over right now and seriously, let go of your past. I don't know if you have a job, but if not, go out and get one. It's time to act mature, no more unprotected sex, your life is worth so much more.
When you change, just remember not all of your friends will change w/ you, so don't be surprized if some of your friends or family aren't very supportive to you. You can only change you, nobody else. Don't live in the past, that was yesterday, you are being given a second chance, don't waste time. If you fail at something, pick yourself back up, we all fail at things, that is life. You can do this!!!!!!
I wish you much luck and please grow in your faith also, I'm sure you don't want to hear about God, but just remember he wants a personal relationship w/ all of us. that doesn't mean you have to be in church on Sun. it just means get to know him and give back to others that need advice on changing their life around. I hope you are serious about wanting to change, because it's not too late. I've been in a similar place as you. Don't hold onto bad memories or the people that hurt you, let it go. I don't mean forget about your family, but EVERYONE makes mistakes. You are so young and have a long future ahead of you. Start over now!!!!
2007-09-20 16:52:49 · answer #5 · answered by Peng-you 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"This peculiarly, be authentic to thine self" -- you're youthful, black and gay, and are (or have been) obese. Cool. Love your self, you youthful, black, gay and in all probability obese guy or woman! Being youthful is an asset. delight in it. Leverage it. Being black - African American in case you want the extra pc term - must be a source of capability and delight. Being obese, if that continues to be in play, (a) would not surely count previous wellness concerns and (b) is something which you will addres once you're interior the final area to do it. you're gay? Cool. Be gay. be a funky, first rate and loving gay guy who enriches the lives of those around him. locate yet another cool, loving gay guy who does an identical and connect with him. Had awful mothers and fathers? right here is the best information: you're 19 now and that they are actually not in charge for you. Be the caregiver to your self which you as a rule wanted they could have been to you. manage your self good - healthful existence type and many beneficial reinforcement. there is plenty to love and love approximately your self. initiate doing it. Oh, and examine getting some counseling &/or drugs help that may additionally assist you with reaching that self love/self-admire. superb needs.
2016-10-19 06:50:00 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are thinking about commiting suicide you should really seek professional help, like a counselor. But in your case I think you should she a psychatrist or something. This is a real serious issue. Have you ever thought about maybe taking a vacation away from work, and your family and friends, and just your stressful life? Maybe just turn off your cell phone and tell someone who you really trust where you are going, and that they can only tell someone where you are on a need to know basis. Let me know how this works out for you.
2007-09-28 14:58:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't depend on this forum for help. You need professional help and I've found some toll free numbers for you to call and speak with people who've gone thru what u r going thru. They can help you find a support group in your area and get you all the help you need. They are on the phones 24/7 so call them now.
The Trevor Helpline, the first round-the-clock national toll-free suicide hotline for gay and questioning youth. It's open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. Teens with nowhere to turn can call 1-866-4-U-TREVOR. - Gay and Lesbian Helpline (1-888) 340-4528: The national toll-free Gay and Lesbian Helpline is operated by Fenway Community Health Center in Boston. It provides free confidential information, referrals, crisis intervention, and support to callers seven evenings a week. Typical topics include safer sex and coming out. Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Helpline - 617-267-9001 - Toll-free 888-340-4528. - Peer Listening Line 1-617-267-2535. Toll-free 1-800-399-PEER (1-800-399-7337). USA: Suicide & Crisis Lines.
Here is a website also:
http://www.youth-suicide.com/gay-bisexual/
Don't worry, it'll get better.
2007-09-20 16:43:57 · answer #8 · answered by Earth Muffin 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Look u need to join some kind of sopport group! And be strong u need to love ur self and don't let others feelings and issues get to you! You may have had a tough child hood but you have to change the rest of your life! Love your self cause no one else will love you as much as u need to be loved! And thier is help out thier wheather it's a church group or any other kind u can get support! Always remeber GOD loves you and he would never put you thru anything you can't handle! so be strong be safe and love your self!!! please protect your self thats the beging to your stresses! visit this site http://www.youth-guard.org/ Good luck!
2007-09-20 16:45:13 · answer #9 · answered by almaybrr 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you really need to stop the random sex - it will eventually kill you and you may bring a few people down with you. Sex without love is mutual masturbation. You'll find sex to be more fulfilling if you actually care about the other person.
Find a cause to get involved in. Maybe it's working with HIV positive children and adults. Maybe helping out with homeless in your community. Something positive where it's not about what's happening to you, but rather how you are happening to your community.
Take the focus off yourself - we're all not perfect.
Trust your instincts but not your addictions and presuppositions.
2007-09-20 16:37:22 · answer #10 · answered by wigginsray 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋