I usually dont ask questions and answer them on yahoo answers, but theres something that has really been bothering me and I was wondering if any of you have experienced anything similar and what you guys did about it.
My mom is crazy, everyone knows that. As a child, her father wasnt around (they shipped him to a different country because he was crazy just like my mom) and my mothers mom (grandmother) hated my mom and made her life difficult. My mom got married and then divorced. When she first got married, she tried to commit suicide after about a year. My mom doesnt talk to any of her brothers or sisters or her mom. Shes always yelling and screaming for no reason and she cannot let go of the past. My mom still blames me for stuff I did as a child 15 years ago! She cant even let that stuff go. It has gotten to the point that one cannot even be around my mom, she always wants to pick a fight. She refuses to take medicine (even though she has in the past) and I dont know what to do.
2007-09-20 16:09:36 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Thanks for everyones response so far, I really appreciate everyones help.
Theres some stuff I wanted to add. My mom not only has mental pain, but also physical pain. She yells in her sleep from pain from her shoulders and arms and stuff, but she wont even get stronger medicine. She takes some weak muscle relaxers and some other weak stuff. For pain like hers, she should at least be taking vicodins or something, but she totally refuses. I'm not a big fan of medicine even though I work at a pharmacy, especially not narcotics, but thats what she needs and she wont get it from her doctor, she doesnt want to take it.
Two things worry me the most though. I have a younger brother who shes a little better with, but still she is crazy with him at times also. I can leave, I'm moving out soon, but I cant take my brother with me unfortunately. I'm also worried about getting married. I think its going to be difficult when everyone knows my mom is crazy.
2007-09-20 19:28:41 · update #1
You're in a difficult situation if she doesn't want help. Living in the problems of the past only contributes to her instability. Medication is really the only solution and that seems impossible to achieve. I know how you feel. My mom has a mental health problem also and she is in denial. She doesn't take medication but she doesn't yell and scream like your mom. That must really be hard to handle. I can't cope with verbal abuse.
My mom can't throw anything away. Not even garbage. She's 87 years old and has 4 storage sheds full of worthless stuff - shoes that don't match, broken chairs, etc. There's a name for her illness, but I forgot it. It's costing her a lot from her Social Security check, and the family is helping her financially. It's real sad, but like you, we just don't know what to do.
I sincerely hope you are able to get her on medication real soon. You're not alone.
2007-09-20 16:32:01 · answer #1 · answered by MissKathleen 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My mother is very much like what you're saying your mothers is. My mother has always been a verbal bully, putting me down telling me I'm not good enough and purposely picking fights and saying nasty comments to push buttons. No matter how hard I try to do anything in my personal life or professional life, it's never good enough. She brings up stuff from the past to pick on me, and carries on how terrible her childhood was constantly. Also everything is a competition with her, she does that with everyone about everything! She's not compassionate towards others suffering and twists the truth to make herself look good while being mean and cold towards me & others. She never takes responsibility for what she's said or done. And she thinks she's fine, has no mental problems at all.
2015-01-07 20:19:09 · answer #2 · answered by Stephenie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's sad Dave.Your mum sounds like a real hand full.You need to think about you most of all.Its all about survival as you know learning at an early age. I don't see any help for your mother until she is ready to accept it. When its a matter of taking a single tablet to begin to live a normal balanced life, why wouldn't they swallow it.?On the other hand you can't make her do anything thing.It sounds like your an adult now and maybe you need to take a big step back and just look and live your own life, cut ties,until she is ready to be responsible and be pleasant to be around you don't need it.Its called tough love sweetie.Sometimes in order to help others you must help yourself first You do matter and your feelings do not need to be crushed on a regular basis. My child causes me much pain and I have had to step back and say this type of behaviour is unacceptable and I will not tolerate it any longer, because my sanity is important to me and others that love me. God I wish you every happiness but you must tackle the bull by the horns and deal with it.Nothing will change overnight but it can happen. Good luck Dave.
2007-09-20 16:30:41 · answer #3 · answered by deb m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They do have support groups for family members of persons with mental illness. Do a web search for a support group, or contact a local aid organization and ask if they know of any groups. It's not your fault she is the way she is; you can only keep encouraging her to seek out treatments for her many problems. As well, if you are concerned about your little brother, then you can always contact social services so that a social worker can work with your mom and possibly help her with resources. Then again, that could make her mad if you intervened, but if it is a serious situation you have to think of your brother too. It's not his fault either.
As for getting married, who ever you marry will love you and want to be able to support you in your concern about your family, otherwise don't marry the person.
2007-09-21 05:34:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her case is lost unless she'll take meds. Unless you can hide the meds in some food, or get two large men to force them down her each day, she probably needs to be committed. Is she a danger to herself or anyone else? Do you have to live with her to take care of her? This situation sucks, I won't lie to you.
NAMI - National Alliance for Mental Illness www.nami.org is a resource for mentally ill patients and their families. They can find a dr. or a therapist in your area, they offer seminars and classes to help educate people, and they offer discussion boards where you can talk to someone who has the same problem you do. And they have an exhaustive library/links that can get you any information you desire.
Best wishes,
Debbie
Chronic depression & anxiety disorder, 20 years
2007-09-20 16:35:18 · answer #5 · answered by TX Mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like my mom but shes been married 6 times. its a chemical imbalance. shes bi-polar i know but she won't take medicine for it. but anything else if someone has some illness she has it to. shes threatened sucide so many times when we were children. and left us many times as children. now her grand kids see her act this way. good luck and best wishes. there is nothing you can do, except let her live her life and you live yours. if you are concerned about your brother maybe she will let him move with you.and if not you can have someone check in on him on and off. and as far as worrying about getting married, don't worry if a woman loves you its not going to matter about your moms illness. they marry you not your family. my husband doesn't always get along with my mom but shes my mom and i love her no matter what, and he respects that. he will sit and socialize with her and be courteous. as i hope when you do marry your spouse will as well. maybe instead of vicadin your mom may need ultram, for severe chronic pain, thats what my doctor has me on. she really needs to be able to work out her past, and the feelings that her mom doesn't love her would make her have alot of these problems. i hope she will eventually get this help. i also take 750 mg of robaxin, muscle relaxer 3 times a day that was prescribed to me, but i only take if i absolutely have to because muscle relaxers are depressants and cause you to be depressed. that could be a factor with your mom as well.
2007-09-20 16:29:07 · answer #6 · answered by Gladys C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom might not be crazy it could just be her past abuse, my mom is the same way. Crazy is like hearing voices. My mom is full of hate most of the time and has demonic look on her face while asleep really creepy. Its a choice I was abused but I choose not to hate. If you need to talk try my site its free for people on yahoo.
2007-09-20 16:59:23 · answer #7 · answered by theroadwetake 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though your mom may have a mood disorder or a personality disorder (e.g. Borderline Personality Disorder). This can be really stressful to live with and you need to take care of yourself first and foremost. This may involve setting down boundaries with her (and sticking with them!) and/or seeing your own therapist. You can also try checking out the book "Walking on Eggshells" which is about living with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder.
2007-09-20 17:08:19 · answer #8 · answered by Lisa M 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you don't live w/ her, put some space between the 2 of you. Just don't bother with her for a while. I know that sounds mean, but you can't be around that mental abuse. If you do live with her, avoid her as much as possile, and be as positive as you can be, just for as long as you live with her. Break the mold and don't be like that to your future children, and perhaps start some counseling too.
2007-09-20 16:20:13 · answer #9 · answered by gowpet 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do no longer decrease your self! Your mom is probably on coke or crystal, subsequently each and all of the time spent interior the showering room. basically addicts spend that plenty time interior the showering room! the finished kin needs help. you could no longer help your mom. you will desire to help your self. it is much less stressful stated than accomplished, yet supply up specializing in her and start up questioning of your own existence and targets and pursue them. Spend much greater time with supportive friends. you would be out on your own sometime and you greater proper practice your self.
2016-10-09 13:58:46 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋