So, we decided to get married next year. The problem is, our budget only allows 50 ppl, so we wanted to keep it to just family and few close friends. Problem is, now more ppl are finding out about our wedding and want to go. I was wondering if you were someone who was not orginally invited would you find it offending if you were asked to pay for your meal ($25)? How do you go about asking that? Keep in mind, it's not everyone, just those that want to go that weren't orginally invited. We want them there, we just can't afford it.... Thanks to all the responses!!
2007-09-20 16:01:23 · 10 answers · asked by Cassy B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I haven't been invited to a few weddings because they only could invite a certain number of people and it wasn't in their budget. I totally understand that....and so should your friends who aren't on the list. Planning a wedding is stressful enough, you shouldn't have to worry about people who don't understand your situation!
So, NO...I would not tell them they can come for $25....it's on the tacky side.
2007-09-20 16:12:04 · answer #1 · answered by ANewLife 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do NOT under any circumstances ask them to pay for their meals! If your budget only allows 50, then keep to it 50. If people confront you demanding to know where their invite is, tell them that due to your budget, you had to limit the amount of invites and give your regrets. Don't let people pressure you into having a wedding you don't want or can't afford. My MIL gave my BIL's wife a problem with this. She asked for a small list of people my MIL would like to invite (like 15 because she wanted a total of 40ish and had to invite her family and close friends) and she gave her a list of double that! She told her "No. I said a small list, we are not inviting all these people, so tell me which ones you prefer." She actually did the same to me-my fiancee is not close to his family, so he told me which few he wanted to invite. I asked her a list of specific people that my fiancee had decided on, and she tacked on an extra 15 people "just in case". *roll eyes* Stay firm. Most people should understand and respect the fact that weddings are extremely pricey. I know it gets tough with the "Well if I invite Jane then I have to invite John" but-you can't invite everyone. Write a list of all the people you would ideally invite. Then sort through the list by priority. Some people will have to get cut, but that is life. If they don't like it oh well. It's your wedding and you are paying for it.
2007-09-20 23:18:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would you feel if you were invited as an afterthought and had to pay for a meal, when the original invitees did not have to pay? That's not fair and your guests will know this.
That's tacky. Not everyone needs to go. If you can only afford 50 people, then you can only afford 50 people. Period.
When people say "Oh, I want to go!" or "Why wasn't I invited?" You respond honestly, "I wish you could, but we're keeping it really small due to lack of funds!" If people truly respect you, they will leave it at that. Honesty is the best policy.
Good luck.
2007-09-20 23:15:57 · answer #3 · answered by kiki 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You never ask a wedding guest to pay for their own meal. Tacky, rude and poor etiquette.
You just can't invite them and let them know if they ask. Tell them it's a tight budget and you're having an immediate family and the closest few friends only.
Or.
Another option is to have a cheaper, more buffet styled meal. Fun foods, like lil' smokies, cracker and cheese platter, deli platter, potato salad. Kinda like a potluck, but you provide all the food. Feeds more people at the same price of many steak dinner. Then you can invite more people.
2007-09-20 23:13:13 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Under no circumstances do you do that!
Look, if you want to include these people you still can. Have the wedding and let anybody who wants come to that part...the church doesn't charge per head, have the small reception and explain when they ask that budget is tight so the reception the day of the wedding will be restricted to immediate family only but they are free to come to the potluck the day after (or that evening, you can do family lunch)
2007-09-20 23:08:12 · answer #5 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I got married at the house. His brother as best man, his sister as maid of honor, and the lady performing the ceremony, that was it, besides us. Cheap, simple, and most importantly, non stressful.
Its your day, do what you want and dont let anyone change your mind.
You can always have a very small ceremony and then a reception for lots of people, but, keep it simple. Youre starting a very important part of your life, and it is a special day for you and your hubby to be.....youre not there to impress the masses.
Good luck, and Congratulations.
2007-09-21 01:40:08 · answer #6 · answered by snowbirdbabe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Cassy and congratulations on your engagement!
No.....YOU CANNOT do that. Some of your guests would pay and others wouldn't? Think about it......
There are always ways to cut down to include more people if you want, like serving finger foods and desserts. But under no circumstances are you to ask guests to pay for their meal. Either stick to your original plan of 50 people, or have a more simpler reception to include more guests. Good luck!
2007-09-20 23:28:51 · answer #7 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of poor people have inexpensive wedding reception with a large crowd, but a small reception.
2007-09-20 23:08:21 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hell yeah that's offending. You can't tell people to pay for their own meal. Go have your wedding in a different country and you'll get more bang for your buck.
2007-09-20 23:08:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Small and cheap... 2 witness and the judge, $25 for your marriage liscense
2007-09-20 23:22:50 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋