I just read a question about sex before mariage and there were like 20 answers that went like: "You've got to test drive the car before you buy."
Well, does this mean that if you had a partner that you loved deeply and you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her/him you would dump him/her if he/she were bad in bed?
Would'nt you try to fix it, to teach and learn in this area too out of deep love for your partner?
If the answer is "no", is the feeling in this case even "love"? Does love comes with the "you've got to be amazing in bed" condition or is love unconditional?
I can't and won't judge anyone on pre-marital sex, still the test drive metaphor just seems like something awful to me...
Paz de Cristo
2007-09-20 13:57:30 · 15 answers · asked by Emiliano M. 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
J.P. - I frowned at your answer, still i had to give it thumbs up for the sincerity...
Rachel - thumbs up for you too
Freakin' Jesus - Well, me and my grilfriend fix that with tons of dialog
2007-09-20 14:10:03 · update #1
blooz - again dude! dialog.
2007-09-20 14:13:52 · update #2
Scarlett Ginger -Thanks for the sincerity.
I found your answer disturbing.
In my opinion good sex comes with good love. Once you're willing to give plasure to the other person (and to do it right), more than you're willing to take it.
To discover and to learn about the other person's body and feelings...
At least thats what i think
If you dump someone because he/she was bad in bed. Its because you never loved the person in the first place, youwere interested only in getting pleasure, not in giving...
2007-09-21 07:49:09 · update #3
Love is unconditional, If you truly are in love then being great in bed will NOT matter. It won't hurt if you are an excellent lover but on the contrary if you aren't then you and the partner will be more open to exploration of each other and yourselves. Love isn't a physical feature only. Love is a spiritual connectedness by mind, body, and soul. Love is a completeness of one another... a fullfillment met. If someone is doesn't care for their partners lovemaking then in my opinion is it isn't true love but a lust instead. When you love someone you take them for who they truly are: the good bad and ugly sides of them.
2007-09-20 14:18:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage and love have changed quite a bit in recent decades. It is tough to find a partner that has similar feelings about sex in a relationship. Plus, people change over time.
I totally agree that for a life bond the personality is more important than the sex. I partner can be trained assuming that you chose well and their personality allows you to train them.
I was both gifted and cursed with a very strong bonding mechanism. I do not know how much of it is psychological and how much is physiological, but despite having been in multiple relationships I still bond to one person at a time and give my all to make it work.
I think that some people do require the emotional bond of virginity to create that kind of attachment, though.
We are all different and changing constantly.
2007-09-20 14:56:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that there's more to a relationship than sex, however - what if you do get married and it doesn't work out in that area? What if one person is the quiet cuddling type and the other had some hidden bondage fetish?
Too late if they're married.
If the couple is open to it, then they can do what they want before marriage and shame on anyone who tries to tell them otherwise. THAT is free will.
2007-09-20 14:07:27 · answer #3 · answered by blooz 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I drove a VW bus for 10 years. Then I had a Subaru (that was nice). Now that I have a Toyota, I just don't think I can ever go back to an underpowered, unreliable car.
Sex is more important to some people than others.
2007-09-20 14:08:51 · answer #4 · answered by skeptic 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I agree, I never understood that either. I think it's just something people say because it sounds cool. In reality, someone who actually subscribes to that theory would be very shallow, I don't see how someone could argue that.
I mean sexual compatibility is an important part of a couples life, but to base a decision over whether to marry them or not on that????
2007-09-20 14:07:45 · answer #5 · answered by melissa 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I just replied to that question. I thought all those test-drive answers were pathetic. Here's the question & my response:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkzeocRExYW54mzMQ2R.2vbsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20070920173642AAIDqTb&show=7#profile-info-0r8NGDgwaa
EDIT: Freakin' jesus, FYI you, and everyone else, may actually like this: In the bible, God condemns spouses from withholding sex from their husband/wife. (unless obviously it is due to a physical illness/disability, etc.)
1 Corinthians 7:4-5 -- 4 The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
2007-09-20 14:08:02 · answer #6 · answered by kaz716 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Women that use that saying are lacking in class. They don't respect themselves or their bodies and treat sex as some meaningless sporting activity. It goes without saying that if a woman has slept around she will be against other women who save themselves for ONE person because it makes them look bad.
Women with class don't concern themselves sex as they are more interested in love making and connecting with that person on a spiritual level. When you love a person they are more than just a sex partner and people in love usually will want to please each other in bed.
Obviously the test drive before you buy crowd have had too much meaningless sex with selfish casual sex partners and they are paranoid because of it.
2007-09-20 14:16:19 · answer #7 · answered by xanadu88 5 · 6⤊ 2⤋
Thank you for saying this. I am a Christian who doesn't think all premarital sex is wrong (bring on the thumbs down!), but I HATE that metaphor!
2007-09-20 14:06:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 0⤋
I test drive a car. I love the way it looks, but the engine's a little under powered. So I have to consider if I'm willing to live with it being under powered until I can afford the time and money and elbow grease to put on a mod kit.
If I love the rest of the car, I might even put up with it being a little under powered, because I love the rest of it that much. But at least its being under powered won't surprise me after I've signed the paperwork.
2007-09-20 14:05:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 11⤊ 2⤋
Actually, I don't know that I would be able to fall completely in love with someone who I didn't know sexually. Sex is a way to get close to people, obviously. It doesn't have to be spiritual or meaningful, but if it is with someone I love, good sex really amplifies my feelings and the relationship. I really truly would absolutely never marry someone who I had not had sex with before.
2007-09-20 14:14:59 · answer #10 · answered by Linz ♥ VT 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋