The girl is 10 years old, and the perpetrator is her former step-father. Because he was only dad she'd ever known, she continued to go visit him after they got divorced when her younger sister (who is his bio daughter) would visit him. This came out during a counseling session today. I don't know what to do or say, and I would like some input into things to say/not to say or ways that I can help support my friend through this ordeal. Do I say anything to the daughter, I don't want to make her feel like everyone in the world knows about it? I just feel lost and don't want to make things worse.
2007-09-20 13:13:48 · 5 answers · asked by Heather Y 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Don't SAY anything. Just listen if your friend wants to talk. Whatever you do, act as though you don't know anything when you're around the daughter.
2007-09-20 13:32:09 · answer #1 · answered by Elt 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's good in being sensitive of letting her feel that "like everyone in the world know about it".
You can try to extract more information about the incident(s) by acting as a "third person" and asking questions not on a personal note.
After all of these, you can pray with her (best if you're from the same faith), because praying is contacting the infinite source of all. It relieves anyone of the present burden they are carrying, and assures the victim that he/she is not alone. Somebody out there is on his/her side. It presents the victim that the reality of a better tomorrow is always there for him/her.
2007-09-20 21:16:28 · answer #2 · answered by indy450 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If her mom knows you know, simply ask her if she needs some support. If she says no, then please honor that. In lieu of talking to her about the situation, just invite her for lunch or a light meal. Something not too overwhelming.
If she says yes, help her research some agencies and resources to help her cope. Listen to her rather than voicing your opinion of the scum bag, which he is.
I wouldn't say anything to the daughter. You are right, you do not want her to feel the whole world knows.
What a great friend you are!
2007-09-20 20:27:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it is up to the child to see if she wants to tell you. dont let her know that you know about what is going on. it will make her feel bad. just let her know that you know she went to counceling today and if she ever needs someone to talk to she has you there for her. dont let on that you know. tell her that there is a lot of things that you ahve beend thru and you might be able to help. it is hard to share something like that with anyone. it is embarrassing and you feel ashamed about it. I know it is not your fault but you feel that way. all you can do for your friend and her daughter is be there for them. be a good ear and listen to them. good luck.
2007-09-20 20:39:04 · answer #4 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes the simplest words can have the best meaning. Tell your friend that you are very sorry for her situation. But you are her friend, and wish to help her in any way you can. Tell her that she is in the driver's seat on this but you are there for her in any way she sees fit.
2007-09-21 06:56:44 · answer #5 · answered by Goddess of Laundry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋