We flirted for about 8 months, I thought at the time she was seeing this other bloke in the office, who has a fiancee but she denied it and we went for a drink and a dance after the sales conference - she said I was trouble and then we went back to hers and I just slept there, nothing else. Then we didnt do anything for a couple of weeks, I asked her for a drink, she blew off another engagement to be there and we kissed and went back to hers, again we didnt sleep together. Then she goes on holiday and we text each other a lot, when she gets back she says she has really missed me and that night she texts me and comes round to my flat and we actually sleep together then.
A few more dates pass and we have a lot of fun together - she spends a weekend at mine and says it was amazing - a week later I go away for the weekend, she says she is going to miss me, after that she gets much colder and a week later says she doesnt want to do anything more because we work together and its too complicated - in the same conversation she says she has "fallen" for me. Since then we have texted a bit and she still flirts a lot with me - we went out for a drink a couple of weeks ago and I told her I was leaving work and I really liked her and I kissed her - she said she hasnt gotten on with a guy this well since her boyfriend of 7 years who she broke up with 18 months ago - she also says she doesnt want to hurt me and that she falls in love easily and in six months she will hurt me if we start seeing each other. She also said I should "stick around".
Since that night she has gone for lunch with this guy with the fiancee a lot and I have seen her out with him after work - also any vaguely sexual comments I make she ignores or rebuffs but she still flirts with me in a sexual way.
I really like her and I dont understand what is going on - she is either worried about getting hurt, or she is seeing this other guy which is not great for me but its her life, but why does she keep trying it on with me if she wants him - maybe it is an attention seeking thing but it is pretty cruel and immature of a 27 year old to be doing that. I keep trying with her because she is encouraging me to - today I am not wearing any gel and she asks if she can touch my hair!! She also asked me for lunch next week - I asked her out for another drink next week and she said yes.
What do you think - everyone, all of my firends, say I am wasting my time but I really want to keep seeing her. She says she doesnt want to hurt me but I get the feeling she is worried I will hurt her - maybe I am just being paranoid about the other guy but perhaps that is the reason. (he is a black guy, as was her ex boyfriend so clearly her type)
Let me know what you think
2007-09-20 12:38:14 · 10 answers · asked by tob 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would forget about her and find some one who cared for just me.
As one of my old uncles would have said "She's slow poison."
2007-09-28 12:21:18 · answer #1 · answered by Fred F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u know for sure that she is really not into you.....u just don't want to accept it because u r having a great time with her and plus she hasn't really come up n told u that she u have no future together......for u the chase is not over because she is not surrendering completely.....she really is not into u and for some reason she is using u.....so try n think about what is the thing tht u r providing her???comfort?cash?gifts?or just pleasure???but whatever it may be if a girl dosen't commit to you after going to bed with you she is definately never going to commit.....or she is trying hard to get.... or she is just finding a friendship of convinience in you.....she uses u when she wants to and then just moves on to her life........no strings attached for her.......i suggest u make it clear to her that what is it exactly between u n her and u want more than this and if she is not reasy to commit now then it is better for u to move on if u r looking for a serious relationship......have atalk with her seriously and make things clear......no beating around the bush and don't take keep hanging around for an answer...girls usually say thins when they r actually searching for someone better and the current guy just dosen't seem good enough and if she dosen't get someone good enough she will consider u......i'm sure u r worth so much more y do u want to be with someone who will not love u with her entire heart n soul....talk to her........n if she refuses to come around move on.....we all deserve much better......all the best!!!!
2007-09-26 03:27:41 · answer #2 · answered by sasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her of your feeling for her is she don't seem to care too much I think you should let her be, since she was in a relationship of 7 years she might want to date but not get attach to some one so fast and so soon.I think you should get out of that game before you get hurt bad because she is clearly playing a game with you and the other guy.
all the best *=) & good luck
2007-09-20 13:29:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please forgive me for being blunt:
She's playing you. If that guy's fiancee knows about those lunches I bet you anything she would want those asses kicked esp hers.
She is not relationship material but score material. Despite having the possible ill effects from the breakup of the past long term relationship, she is not being fair to you esp the fact that you made your feelings known already as she flip flops hers.
There's is no danger of hurting her atm but she will hurt you even unintentionally. No one is going to stop you from seeing her, but consider opening your options as well. The major concern is that your heart will be broken but at least you'll know better next time.
Remember there is no shortage of women.
2007-09-27 17:47:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok ask her out next friday reason she probably be busy all week so attempt the weekend. do no longer ask her out the 1st threat you get reason that would make you appear to be your obsessed. additionally locate out while she has no longer something to do on the weekends so which you adult men could have a date. If she retains on turning down on your proposals for a date then she's way too busy for a relationship. perhaps she merely needs to be friends reason she has no time for having a bf?
2016-10-09 13:41:41 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are looking for LOVE to anchor, you are doing it at a wrong place. She is a 'free bird' and it seems that she enjoys to keep many relations at a time. If you do not have any problems with that this should not be termed as a 'problem' and if you have genuine concerns on that count please snap the ties. It is not worth it!
2007-09-20 22:31:11 · answer #6 · answered by sharma.kulbhushan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you madly love her. She is just playing games with you.
Ask her to stop behaving like this. She is emotionally fooling you. May be she derives pleasure by doing this. I don't think she is serious about you. She is only using you. Sorry to hurt you.(but that's the truth).
2007-09-28 06:26:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing to do is just tell her how you feel.
2007-09-20 12:55:29 · answer #8 · answered by Blondie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u r just wasting ur time & nothing else.....
2007-09-21 04:24:16 · answer #9 · answered by me..so,,sweet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her know....ur feelings for her.
2007-09-24 21:31:25 · answer #10 · answered by danu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋