help i can't understand my dad. well here's the story?

Question

whenever i am not good at my studies, he calls me dump.
whenever i came down to help, to open the door for cooking. my dad open the door and i didn't know that and that was today.
whenever i am not good as my brothers,sister and cousins, he calls me dump too
and my father is an impatient guy always got quick temper
so what should i do.
please help me

Answer 1

if it's possible, talk to him about it.

if that's too hard or intimidating (because it can be!) see if you can write him a note, and ask him to write back instead of talk, so that there's less confrontation.

i would advise you not to let anger build up, because it will explode one day, and you'll say a bunch of things you'll regret. but, on the other hand, if you feel angry, not to the point of boiling over, however, try telling him that. anger can induce boldness, which is a good asset when talking to an intimidating figure.

and if all else fails, ignore him. i know this is easier said than done, because he is your dad, and you want him to appreciate you, but it might just have to come down to that.

good luck. hope at least one of these work.

Answer 2

Not much you can do. My father is exactly the same. I've learned that nothing I do will ever make him happy with me. Sitting him down to talk about how you feel is probably not an option cause he's just not that type of guy.

Seriously what you should do is start saving up and move out as quickly as you can.

Sorry mate.

I guess you can like stop him and tell him I'd prefer you not call me "dump". But I doubt that will do much if he's antyhing like my father.

Answer 3

sorry 4 the pain u must be going thru from this, cause i know it can be very hurtful, when u yarn for love from someone u think should give it 2 u, out of all people u think u should get it from parents, but i have learned with my father that since he's 50 and i'm 26, we had a hard time understanding each other, because i know now he treated me w/ tough love i guess cause that's all he knew, growing up in a world like this it will make u be tough, if u don't u gets no respect, especially being black, not trying to sound discriminating, i just speak how i feel, but my advice 2 you is know who u are, and be you, u can't live 4 no one else but the lord and yourself, and another thing i left home at age 19, got my own place and haven't asked my dad 4 nothing at all since i was 18, by doing that i found a lot of maturity and confidence in myself, so i don't care what no one thinks about me including my dad, i hooope people like me and enjoy my company, but if they don't o'well, 2 just say that when u have confidence in yourself it shows and people including your dad will have 2 respect u,because he will know u anit taking that mess anymore. how i know is because, me and my dad are like best friends now, we talk to each other like adults that we are. and that's a great thing because for years we didn't speak much at all, and now we can't stop chit-chatting. well remember be confident in who u are. good luck on ya'll relationship. be blessed!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

If you don't mind me asking...how old are you and how old is your dad.

Sometimes the age diff causes a lot of conflicts and miscommunication due to the diff generation gaps.

Maybe you should try to talk to him about the situation and let him know that you are not comfortable of him always comparing you to other siblings or relatives and always refering to you as "dumb".

To some ppl, saying things like that to your children is like an encouragement to make to try harder in everything. However, they fail to realized that the negative comments they say could have a lot of affect on their children.

Try to communicate with him. I understand that this is hard, but if you want a better relationship with your dad, you would have to. Best wishes to you.

Answer 5

Sweetie....I am so sorry....hurting people hurt people.....I know you may want to please your Dad but it's hard to live up to somebody else's standards cause they always keep moving the bar up so you can't reach it....today it's this and the next day it's that...always show your Father respect...give him space if you have to....learn to look at yourself and like you for who you are and I know it's hard without somebody encouraging you....

YOU ARE SPECIAL ALL BY YOURSELF....YOU ARE MADE IN THE IMAGE OF ALMIGHTY GOD HIMSELF....THERE IS NOBODY LIKE YOU....

Answer 6

try not to be so dump.

Answer 7

the word is DUMB- not DUMP
do better

Answer 8

some people you just can't please, Sorry, you are not dumb.