Why are whites bothered by the fact that they are expected not to use the "N" word?

Question

I appreciate those of you that have responded. It is not my attention to lump all whites into one group and I should have made that clear in my question. I am a black man and I do use the term in reference to other black men. When "I" use the word it is being used as a term of endearment. That may sound silly to some, but this context is generally accepted in the black community. I believe that we can all agree that if a white person uses that term in reference to a black person that there is a completely different context. With this in mind I don't understand why it is unreasonable for us (black people) to expect that we not be disrespected or referred to in such a manner.

It seems to me that if this is an issue that it should be an issue only in the black community as "we" decide if "we" want to continue to use it.

Answer 1

I think that is a wonderful question and I'm really glad you ask. Blacks use the "N word" as a noun, a verb, an improper noun, and many many other ways. They call themselves, everyone else, and their mothers that, but are deeply offended if we use the same word. Why are they so bothered by a word they use with such frequency. Myself, i try never to use a term to describe a person that is derogatory, and the N word is a word that does little to describe a trait either bad or good (no matter what color the person is). I suppose when we hear many blacks using the word so frequently, that we learn it's use that way. Why does it bother anyone what words we use if we are communicating.

Answer 2

I am not bothered by this, I understand the meaning of the word and the context it is to be used. Therefore I don't use and would never use it against anybody. Of course some people have the mentality that if you say it why can't i say it. Because when white people said the word it was to disrespect a black person. But I don't think that young black people understand that today. Ask a black man or woman over thirty how they feel about the word and they will be able to explain to you that you haven't turned the N word into a positive word because you dropped the "er" and added an "a" at the end.
Wrap your brain around this. Black people are the only people that refer to each with a racial epitaph. Jews don't call each other kikes, I am Irish and I don't' go around calling my Irish brothers "mics". THINK BLACK PEOPLE this word is used to oppress you not empower you and you continue to breath life into this word everything it faints. WAKE UP

Answer 3

Because, if it is truly a word that has bad connotations for blacks, then why do blacks use it to each other all the time? Why is it only bad if a white person uses it? I sure don't walk around calling my white friends "honkys".

Re: Your additional details: Since when does a cultural or racial group claim exclusive rights to the use of a word and decide who gets to use it? Oh, only if they're black, eh? I can just hear the uproar if whites started getting hysterical at being called "whitey" or "cracker". Heck, one of the biggest insults the black community seems to dole out is to accuse a black person of "acting white." I don't understand the use of the word as an "endearment", and frankly, I don't buy that reason. I will also point out the incongruity of a group of people who claim to desire complete integration and equality, and yet insist on segregating themselves apart as "the black community" as you did in your final paragraph.

Answer 4

ok, 35 y/o white male. at least i assume i am "white"...i was adopted, unknown birth parents and look white. but onward...

i am not bothered at all. i think the word just oozes hatred. from blacks AND whites. i still to the life of me cant understand why an educated black man, or ANY black man for that matter, would want to use the word. to me its taking a step 50 years back in history. i would take offense to someone calling me a "bastard child" as i have no "real" parents to speak of, and i would not want to be branded as a "N" if i were a black man.
society still in my opinion is tilted slightly away from the black race in all fairness, and the habits and actions such as slinging the "N" word around like its no big deal, but then yelling discrimination the first time a white or hispanic or anyone for that matter uses it. sorry for the run on sentence but i guess this is too important to stop and correct.
in closing....
if i were to say i was bothered from the useage...its the blatant double standard. its ok for ALL black americans to say it, but one white american is on the abc nightly news branded as a racist slob. sorry, but i fail to see how that is possible.
i REFUSE to say the word, even in jest. and i fully expect any other race to not cast slurs at me. even if its just out of respect.
all my black friends (laymen and college educated) all feel as if the word is "beneath" them. the excuse of using the word to take the sting out of it doesnt sit with me. makes no sense.

so america (we're all AMERICAN americans) lets put this stupidity all to bed. i really could care less that you have more or less pigment in your skin.
you treat me as a respectable adult and you should expect me to respond the same way.
and cant we lose all these segregating titles...you are not "african" americans....we are all red white and blue.
i bid you a good nite.



one act of kindness could be an epidemic...it could actually spread across the entire country!!!!!

Answer 5

I honestly think that most Whites do not want to hear the word anymore and by asking the question in that way, hope to shame blacks into not using it themselves, especially in our presence (on the radio, movies, comedy routines). Let the word die, which it would have for most Whites thirty years ago.

Now for Whites who want to use the word, fine...it is there, anyone can say it! Some do, but to group all whites as wanting to use it, you are quite mistaken.

Answer 6

Well, considering African-Americans throw the term around like it's nothing, calling their best buddies this word, I can understand why Caucasions would feel that way.
They try to say the word and everyone gets offended. We're setting a bad example for other races. We're making the word seem acceptable.

I am black.

Answer 7

Im not white, im a black female, and I personally hate the "N" word. I cant stand hearing black men talking to each other, and calling each other that word, I just find it to be extremely rude and derogatory. Everybody just shouldnt use that word.

Have a good night!!!

Answer 8

I think (and note: I'm extremely multiracial), it's that you hear many african americans using the expression so freely, and it doesn't feel so wrong anymore.

Also, I think that just as there are some black people that create stereotypes for many, there are ignorant white people right behind or in front of them.

Answer 9

Not being able to use it is fine with me, I don't think people should. What I don't get is that it is OK for one person to use it but not another. If it is truly a "bad" word no one should be using it. It's hard to explain to kids that when someone says "Hey Wassup N****" it's OK because a black person said it, but not someone who isn't black.

Answer 10

You are exhibiting racist behaviour by lumping all caucasions together and making an assumption. Isn't that stereotyping? And which "N" word were you referring to?
"N"ot employed?
"N"'other welfare recipient
...or did you mean
"N"ice people
"N"eighbor
Your comments should not be be directed at whites, since the proponderance of use of the really offensive "N" word, usually is seldom uttered by caucasions.