Help? How do I break up with a woman when we live together?

Question

First and foremost, I would greatly appreciate it if you all go easy on me. My girlfriend and I moved in together approximately 3 months ago. Our relationship, in my opinion, is on the fritz. We don't fight, but it feels like we just "exist" together. I feel terrible because I feel responsible for our relationship being like this. We are both insecure. We are both not very good talkers. The worst part is that I am very attached to her 4 year old daughter. We still have 9 months left on our lease, and I don't want to make her life a living hell. I just want her to be happy, but I feel so alone in this relationship. We have sex maybe once a month. She is the most unpassionate person I have ever met. I know that she was hurt in the past, but I've given her my unabided support since the beginning of our relationship. In fact, I think I've let her take advantage of me at times. She is not seeing anyone else because we are online at work together all day. HELP

MissVick510, you are a moron.

Answer 1

Talk to her. If it doesn't improve, hit the door before any more children are involved.

Answer 2

Maybe you two should just go some where together and try to rekindle what you may have had in the beginning. Sometime relationships get boring if you don't try to make them more exciting. And since neither of you are good talkers have you thought about writing her a letter explaining how you TRULY feel. Your feelings do matter your in the relationship to if this doesn't work let her know that you care deeply for her and you love her daughter but you don't see where your relationship is going and you need more than just a female body. You need companionship and Affection. don't be afraid of saying what you feel at least you will have gotten it off your chest and you can move on to something else. If all fail just write her a dear john letter and leave.

Answer 3

Well where to begin --- You should have not moved in together in the first PLACE!!!

You rushed in to this relationship like a fat kid pouncing on a ice cream cone!! This before you both where actually ready you moved in together and now you both involved her child.

You never setup ground rules / expectation about what you will not allow in a relationship that is one of the first things you do before you actually become serous.

So now its time to man up that means you need to have the TALK and tell her how you actually feel like your in a relationship with an emotionless zombie. You must give her a chance to fix her behavior and get some counselling.

Also speedy if this doesn't work out a little hint here --- You as the man lead the releationship.

Tatt...

Answer 4

Wow, does this sound familiar. How very sad for you to have to spend your every day with this person who obviously is not the right person for you. You sound compassionate & caring in nature. Why did you decide to move in together? I've been where you are & wish I had the time back that I wasted - 9 & 1/2 yrs.. This is difficult to answer. Have you discussed your feelings with your girlfriend? There had to be something that drew you to move in with her besides her daughter. Kids can be pretty powerful people to get attached to but you deserve all the happiness life has to offer. I hate to mention counseling because it doesn't work for everyone & some people just don't like it but have you thought about it? Best of luck to you. You sound like a terrific person.

Answer 5

Please let me say in a gentle tone that it would be a benefit for you to just give it a chance. That's what a relationship takes. You say you care about this woman, and I think you sound like a really decent man. Do you have the patience and the time to work on a relationship? I'm sorry to see anyone break up without really giving each other the benefit of the doubt and trying to work things out together.

Can you learn to talk to each other? This is your golden opportunity to learn just how to do that. Take a chance to build your relationship and not give in to the pressure. Will you be able to survive when things really get tough in a "real" committed relationship. I vote to Stay with it and give it a chance to grow.

The most important thing to remember is to be forgiving and patient. Two most important things. I am going to tell you that it was a man who taught me those two necessary elements in order to make a relationship work/survive through the tough times. I am so grateful that I learned this lesson from someone that I love and respect today.

Another idea is to go to: www.marsvenus.com

They have professional staff where you can chat on line. I think there is a charge but it's affordable, if you want to save your relationship. Of course, it sounds to me like you're ready to end it today. I hope you do what is right for you.

Answer 6

Talk to her . Tell her it's not working out . So what if you re close to the daughter , that's the way it goes . Then talk to the landlord / landlady about taking you off the lease , since you won't be living there . That way your EX will be able to get someone else to help her pay the rent . Unless she leaves and YOU get someone to help pay the rent until the lease is up . Don't string this woman along with false hopes . Right now she sees a new Daddy for little Suzie and MORE on the way ! Guaranteed

Answer 7

This is why it is not good to move in with one another until you are married. You say she is not passionate, are you? People usually want someone to do what they don't do, but want it. So maybe you should be more passionate, and talk more. You need to be able to talk in order to understand what the other person wants. I would work on this until it was about time for the lease to run out, then make a decision if you are going to stay together. You both should be aware of the facts, and then maybe things would improve.

Answer 8

if you fell like you are the reason that it is this way then you need to find to make it work an you both work so that could also be the reason you don't talk that much you both need some time for each other then going to work but mostly i don't really see a reason for you to leave her an think of how that baby will fell if you leave so you need to get on your job an fix what you broke because it is your fault but at the same time you need to want it to work out an if you don't then you need to figure out a way to make it work out so she doesn't get hurt I'm only going to tell you the truth an not be easy if you wanted nice then you should of called your mother then .

Answer 9

Let her know the relationship isn't right for you and you're moving out. That way, the child doesn't get uprooted from her home. If she can't afford it by herself, give her plenty of notice so she can get a roommate or make plans to break the lease and move out, too.

Answer 10

The best thing is for you to move out. Can she find another roommate or afford the rent alone? Unfortunately, you really won't be able to "parent" her child anymore, unfortunate for both you and the little girl. But what can you do? If you don't feel it, you don't. Why waste any more of anyone's time? If you don't love her, then just tell her it's over...unless you still love her and want to try to work it out?

Answer 11

What do you propose through "artwork out"? i in my opinion comprehend of a chum in this top concern. HIS breakup and next divorce replaced into extra or much less friendly. She purely moved into yet another mattress room and that they are actually not intimate, extra like purely roommates sharing the centers. the priority replaced into the joint possession of authentic sources. merchandising at a terrible loss replaced into out of the query, so even divorced, they nevertheless collectively very own the dwelling house and land, and are waiting for the industry to get better so as that they a minimum of can injury even whilst they at last DO sell. So, in THAT sense, issues CAN "artwork out" as you're saying. yet then, this divorce replaced into on good words. there replaced into no dishonest or something like that, basically an common falling out of love with one yet another, so as that they nevertheless would properly be associates on account that there replaced into NO betrayal in contact. If there replaced into animosity, or dishonest, or any of various the rationalization why 2 human beings injury up and hate one yet another, THEN, it in all probability won't "artwork out" in a great way because it has for my chum. My chum replaced into different, he and his ex spouse are nevertheless good associates. in the event that they weren't good associates, then dwelling collectively for any reason might finally end up as torture for one or the different or the two. it is not that they have nowhere else to flow, it fairly is purely the agency of earnings and loss on an investment in authentic sources collectively.