I have been with this guy for almost 5years. We hooked up when we were in Highschool so we're still young around early 20s. The question really is that I love this guy and I know he loves me... and we seem so good together but of course, there's always something wrong..
Like most guys my age, he doesnt know what he wants to do wit his life. Because of this, he is not going to school. He tries to find the best job he could find but ends up giving up because, as usual, he doesnt know what kind of job he wants. We have the same dreams of being successful and living a good life but...
For me, school/education is part of being a sucessful person but he thinks otherwise. He thinks he knows a lot already which is true. He knows more than wat I know in life.
I dont know if i should wait till he grows up and find a career that he wants to do because he may not grow up. Though, he is giving me signs that he will do watever there is to do... someday.
im confused.
2007-09-20 11:11:21 · 12 answers · asked by ahoyhoy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well.. we r friends.. we were bestfriends too before we became bf and gf...
2007-09-20 11:17:31 · update #1
This is the thing. i know he loves me.. I guess saying chemistry is making it sounds so wrong.. or full of lust.. but I dont think that's us.
First, he has been there for me.. when my parents were going crazy on us. I guess to make it short, being with me is filled with drama.. and I know how guys dont like drama.. so him staying with me is a PLUS.
I know if I dont think about people surrounding us like my parents, his parents.. everything is perfect. I know nothing is perfect bu the truth is.. it is! But once I let everyone in.. the time, the bills... the kids (that we might have).. and parents, everything still seem ok.. Im happy spending my time with him.. but as i think of OUR future, Im scared. Im scared that my parents would be right... that we will just separate.. cuz life isnt just about the feeling.. there's bills to pay.. and we dont have that.. are we going to have that?
the truth is.. its in a process.. A VERY SLOW process.
2007-09-20 11:26:07 · update #2
You are both way too young to be thinking of marriage. But I'm not sure that is what you are thinking of.
Even the best "chemistry" can be ruined by financial problems. I am not saying that those cannot be overcome. But it takes a lot of work.
It sounds as if you are both very different ambition wise. Stay with him for the moment and see what happens. Give him some time to figure out what he whats to do. But if you don't see any sign of him pro actively looking or doing things that will help him decide. You might want to rethink the relationship.
A good question to ask both yourself and him is "where do you see yourself in the next five years?"
Then see if your ideas mesh.
"Though, he is giving me signs that he will do whatever there is to do... someday."
You don't need 'signs' but definite action. Good luck!
2007-09-20 11:21:16 · answer #1 · answered by RoseWhite 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the right to be confused. It is not that there is something wrong, most guys no matter if they are in their 20's or 50's have no clue what they want to do with their lives. Think about it, how many guys do you know that like/love their job/career? On a serious level, NOT MANY!
Your boyfriend should go to college and take the "normal" classes that everyone has to take and then take classes he thinks he may be interested in and go from there. A number of college students have no idea what they want to do, even the ones who graduated and have their degrees usually do not do what they went to school for. It is "normal"!
You are different people and that can be looked at as a good thing. Because one person is "educated" and the other person is not (lets say they are a mechanic) does not mean the relationship will not work out in the end. It does not matter who knows more or what, as long as you two help each other out...all of this should not matter.
Some find "chemistry" to be more important then financially stable. Do what you and your boyfriend feel is right. Do not worry about what others around you will think. Everyone will have their own opinions including your family. You know what is right for you.
2007-09-28 09:12:40 · answer #2 · answered by no 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How is he wasting his time these days?
He may know a lot, but if he doesn't know how to support himself (let alone a family), he doesn't know enough.
Wait til he gets a job and sticks at it. Unless he learns a trade, he will probably need to continue his education. Actually, he will probably have to do that even if he learns a skilled trade. You're right about education. There is a definite correlation between level of education and income.
Chemistry is important but financial insecurity can wreck a relationship, especially when the apparent cause is the irresponsibility or laziness of one or both partners.
If you can support him and are OK with that, that's between you and him.
2007-09-20 11:31:26 · answer #3 · answered by pufferoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You like this guy so much and it is chemistry which is what you are suppose to pick because money isn't everything. So what you need to do is to help him to go back to school and so he can get a good paying job. This will take time but in the long run he will have the chemistry and money. You just need to help him with his future.
2007-09-20 11:21:59 · answer #4 · answered by baby girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
extensive. remember chemistry is like an Ocean. you will would desire to decide for specialisation. in case you're in organic and organic Chemistry attempt for Bio chemistry, Molecular chemistry, etc. back remember in todays international it is not any longer your academic excellence that is going to count number yet your means to remodel your academic expertise into useful field purposes or advancements. wish you each and all of the terrific
2016-10-09 13:30:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
K
I was with my ex for 5 years too..and what broke us up..was his addiction to drinking and control freak and sex died the money was gone..and our kid was in middle..I think in long run that what keeps anyone together is LOVE not MONEY OR POWER OR CHEMISTRY..is what you feel for that person..but sometimes there is so much you can't handle any more..and that is the truth..life must go on..as the rain falls and tears of blood shed..of LOST LOVE..
2007-09-20 11:16:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most important thing is friendship. Attraction is a brief fling, but a good friend is a joy forever. Finances are important, but you can be happy without lots of money. Look for your best friend.
2007-09-20 11:14:51 · answer #7 · answered by Steve C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as he is working and he is not a lazy bum, you should give him some time to figure out what he wants to do with his life. Have you asked him what he is passionate about? Is he particularly talented at anything? If so, he can build on those talents. Don't give up on your man if he is good to you.
2007-09-20 11:17:18 · answer #8 · answered by mspidey2007 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im gonna have to go ahead and say chemistry, lots of money is really nice but you can never replace the feeling of truley connecting with someone...all money is is a thing...
2007-09-20 11:22:40 · answer #9 · answered by sliman__85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither matters, someday he'll decide that he'd just rather not be with you. Might as well give up on him now before he gives up on you.
2007-09-20 11:17:16 · answer #10 · answered by cool girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋