So this guy J and I started liking each other about a year ago and we've been really good friends ever since. He has totally led me on and friends have even asked if we were dating. He even told me that I was his dream girl. Anyways I'm just going to cut right to the point. He started acting really different once he moved a couple hours away. Never wanting to talk on the phone, acting like it was a burden, always saying he'll call back but then never would, etc. He has really hurt me b/c basically I'm not good enough for him. he always has to have the best of everything & he wont take a chance on anyone. everything is all about money and connections with him. he thinks that just because im still in school and he's graduated that i'm not good enough. (i'm going to school to be a dentist). i dont want to be with him anymore anyways but i need a response to the email he just wrote me. Here is what he said: "How are you doing? I wanted to send you an email to follow up with the
2007-09-20 08:27:13 · 13 answers · asked by EStar 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
conversation we had &the text messages. First, I want to apologize a/b the way I may have acted towards you about the whole situation in the first place. It is equally as frustrating for me as it was for you. I thought I explained things well enough over the phone when we talked about the issue but I may have missed the point. I know you are looking for a relationship right now M, but I am not at the time and place for one, OK?? I dont do long distance relationships because there is too much grey area &things are assumed rather than having direct contact with an individual. Like I mentioned, if you lived in here,the situation would be much differenct. I know it may sound dumb/rude, but I HATE talking on thephone, especially after Im on it all day long talking w/ clients. It isnt that I dont want to hear a/b ur day, but I need to go out &chill w/ my new friends. I know you get frustrated when I say well hey, can I call you back/can we talk 2morrow, but there are things that Id like 2 do
2007-09-20 08:32:55 · update #1
after a hectic day at work& talking on the phone ISNT 1 of them. u have to realize Im in the REAL world now &things are much different than what u r doing right now. Not saying 1 is better than the other.The other thing that confuses me is the fact that u always say, "I wont talk to Ben (He's my ex boyfriend that i've known since i was a baby) if you dont want me too.." Talk to Ben all you want b/c if you truly do still have feelings for him, you should go back to dating him. I dont want to date a girl that has dated a guy who treats her like carp &basically has no respect for the individual & others. Shows how little you must think of yourself to stay in a situation like that, but that is not for me to say. If you want a relationship, Im not the one for you. I would only like a honest, respectful friendship, I would love to stay in touch with you. Please write back. Have a good day."
2007-09-20 08:40:02 · update #2
What are some really good cutting words that I can send back? Im totally over him but i dont want him to think that hes ending it on his terms and having him think that he is SO much better than me. I never did anything wrong when I was with him and I guess he just doesnt appreciate me for who I am so thats fine but I just think that he has sort of crossed the line? I swear cute too so this isn't over the way I look or anything!!
SOrry this was so long and thank you all so much for your help!!!!
2007-09-20 08:41:57 · update #3
Ignore him, just like you probably should have done a long time ago.
You are obsessing... just forget about him and move on.... why torture yourself?
2007-09-20 08:32:18 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK, well it seems to me that maybe you and he are two completely different people. You are big on communication and feelings, and he seems to be big with (as you put it) money and connections. Put it this way, once you graduate college and financial aid and/or loans stop kicking in, you are broke! So, naturally for alot of us, we are "BIG" on money, connections, and trying the hardest we can to survive and be happy. you know? I dont think he views you as a burden, since he had told you before that you were "his dream girl." I think he is in a serious new transition in his life were he has a brand new priority: trying to survive in the real world and make his own money and try not to betoo reliant on others. You now? In response to the email.. it was cut-off- but it sounds like this guy cares enough to follow up with you and see how you are doing. Why dont you just be honest (in a nice way) and email him back saying how much you miss him and if he still thinks of you are the one for him. Tell him you know that he is busy and that you dont want to rush him.. but that you realyl care about him.. hopes he is doing well in the real worls, and if you two can possibly atleast talk it out or remain good friends.
2007-09-20 08:41:46 · answer #2 · answered by Confused but hopeful 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to move on; he's not into you and may have already found some else he's interested in. Obviously the distance is a major problem, so move on! I'm sure there are tons of other guys in your town that will actually treat you better, but if you keep obsessing over him, you gonna miss the better guys! DON'T write him back, (just the way he doesn't call you back), that's gonna bother him. Go on with you life and you will end finding someone better!!!
2007-09-20 08:42:43 · answer #3 · answered by dulcecynd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reply with how great you are doing since the two of you went different directions, give the impression all is great without him, tell him about the great looking guy(s) you've met since the split, how you didn't realize how much being tied down was hindering your ability to grow, that you'd begun to feel like the person who'd accepted a date with someone to keep from hurting their feelings in the months just before the separation and wish him the best of luck in his future.
Or you can ignore him, move on and act like it never happened.
Your choice, but thought since you'd ask what to do to get even, I'd toss in my two cents worth then add an option.
2007-09-20 08:39:01 · answer #4 · answered by David 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, you know he hasn't been unfair, he's been honest and he hasn't just changed his number and refused to answer letters. You can go three ways, you can write him a cutting reply back which will just do no good whatsoever or you could ignore him, which leaves unresolved issues. Or you could just write back saying that you truly appreciate his honesty and that you wish him luck in the future.
2007-09-20 08:32:23 · answer #5 · answered by snaffle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
...don't bend your mind over on this one particular guy here honey....there are plenty of well natured men that live closer to you that would be more effective in cultivating a relationship with...wouldn't you agree? Surely you two can be long distance friends honey...but quit obsessing over a guy who states directly to you that he's moving on and away with his own life in a new direction sweetie...now move on with yours....ok? Good luck to you truly!
2007-09-20 08:41:28 · answer #6 · answered by scott s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are young and have your entire life and career ahead of you. If you want to write him back just be friendly, you don't have to be mean. Kill them with kindness... that always works. If it is meant to be between you it will work itself out. Get on with your studies, have fun, and let the chips fall where they may.
2007-09-20 08:34:59 · answer #7 · answered by mlcg2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i can't read the rest of the email, but from his actions, which do speak louder than words, I would tell the jerk that you don't want to play his childish unstable mind games. tell him you want someone stable in your life who are man enough to tell you the truth and able to handle someone like you.
2007-09-20 08:35:41 · answer #8 · answered by Angela M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just move on
2007-09-20 08:32:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well...sounds like when he got where he is now he found a new friend...but you can't stress your self about lil boys like that because youll really get hurt like that...i know its hard but you should just let it go...
2007-09-20 08:33:20 · answer #10 · answered by Tamara M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋