Grandparents that don't visit with their grandchild???

Question

Ok, so I have this problem with my Fiancee's parents..My daughter is going to be a yr old tomorrow and i can count on 2 hands how many times they have seen her since she was born..They live 10 minutes away and make no effort what so ever, unless it involves going to dinner. The real big part that really bothers me is that they have 2 other grandchildren from my fiancee's brother and they make time to see them atleast once a week!! And they also only live 10 mins away..So why can't they make time for my daughter?? I don't want to be angry with them, but i can't help but to be :-[ What do you think is the reason they make time for some of their grandchildren but not ALL of them? Anyone have any ideas?

Answer 1

There could be many reasons why they see the other grandchildren more, and it’s impossible to guess what the reasons might be without knowing all the details of the situation.

But, what immediately comes to mind is:
Do you invite them to visit? When they do visit is a pleasant experience for all involved?

Answer 2

I hear about this more and more and it's SO sad! Usually they seem to favor the first born, or one sibling over another, it's SO sad! My niece was treated this way, her grandmother NEVER made an effort, but would visit the grandchildren that lived less than 10 minutes from my niece.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Maybe you could sit down and talk to either your fiancee to talk to them or you yourself talk to them and tell them that you're hurt. The child WILL see this for herself sooner than you realize, in every situation that I've seen by 2 years old the child has seen it and reacted to it, it's horrible that any child be treated this way. I would talk to your fiancee first and see what he says and have him talk to his parents, being they're his parents, have him make the first move and talk to them. If that doesn't work, you can try and tell them that you feel hurt, and see if maybe you bring your daughter to them more often or initiate some time together and see how they react. If they don't agree to you trying to bring them together for spending time together, sit down and talk to them and tell them how you feel.

Also, is your fiancee your child's father? Maybe they are afraid to get close if she's not, like until you're married they're afraid if something should happen before the wedding and it doesn't work out, they will end up getting close to a child they will never see again. If your daughter is his child, then it just doesn't make sense why they are doing this, but it usually never makes sense why adults do these things to kids. How do you get along with his parents aside from this? How do they feel about you two being together, sometimes those feelings get taken out on the children, which is not fair, but sadly, it happens.

I'm sorry you and your daughter are going through this. It's so sad when adults do these things to the innocent children.

Answer 3

This is the same situation for me. I so clearly connect with you and I feel your pain. My mother-in-law, I'll call her "satan," plays favorites. Her favorite grandchild (there are six in all) is whichever one is sick or in trouble at the moment. She also favours other children that have sad tales of woe. Since my three children are healthy, happy and I NEVER tell her when they are sick, she NEVER comes over here. I've lived here for over 2years and she's been here once. I know, that although it hurts me a lot that my children don't get the love of their grandparents they deserve, I wouldn't want her attention on my kids anyway, because she's nuts,...and, she's satan. Satan's husband favours the grandchild from his youngest daughter, I'll call her Evil. The thing is, all of the kids that my in-laws favour are spoiled, disobedient, obnoxious, sassy, selfish brats. I love my nieces and nephew, but they are out of control. And they are the favourites. So, although I feel your pain, you might get some emotional relief realizing that sometimes being favoured is a greater disservice than being ignored.

Answer 4

No reason to be "angry" because people have made choices.. their choices don't belong to you.

I'm sure it's hurtful that these grandparents dont' visit your child...but it's not the end of the world. you child has YOUR love and the love of your husband and you two are who the child depends upon for security and stability.

ask them why not if it bothers you so much. that's my answer.

Answer 5

old people tend to visit people they think easier to talk to. maybe you should make effort on visiting them and show them that you care.
if they weren't too old... i don't know. i just have grandparents that quite old, and never visited me, so i visited them, just having a chat, and listen to them. lately, they sometimes come visit me.