...and the waitress spilled my soup on me because, apparently, she can't balance things very well when she's so pregnant. Was I wrong to not give her a tip? My wife said I was rude to not tip her. I should add that not only did she spill it on me, but she cried and fussed about it. How embarrassing is that?!
2007-09-20 07:43:49 · 30 answers · asked by Drake the Deist 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Geez. Apparently you mistook this woman for a robot rather than the emotionally unstable pregnant woman she is. People make mistakes! Or did you not get the memo? I take it you've never dropped anything, right? The rules of gravity just don't apply to you, do they?
The reason she got upset about it is because, oh I don't know, SHE'S PREGNANT!! Her hormones are bouncing in all kinds of directions right now! She has a child inside of her that kicks! How would you feel? I'm sure it was an honest mistake and you should feel ashamed about not leaving that poor girl a tip.
2007-09-20 07:51:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 2⤋
If the rest of her service was letter perfect I would have extended a gracious comment and a good tip.
Something along the lines of--I know you didn't mean to do that--don't worry--we all have days where things just happen.
A reassuring smile and a nice tip would have helped her tremendously.
When a woman is pregnant she is more vulnerable to emotional expressions. She also may feel overwhelmed by having to work while pregnant and the worries that arise during pregnancy would naturally be exacerbated when stressing your body and emotions with hard labor.
It may have been embarassing for you to see a display of emotions from anyone that didn't seem to match the situation but--if you've not been around emotional pregnant women you may not realize how hormones affect the outward display of emotions in a gestating female.
What was rude is that you had no compassion. Not even that you didn't leave a tip.
2007-09-20 16:29:32 · answer #2 · answered by steinbeck11 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It was very unfortunate for you that this accident took place. It happens to them all the time, but pregnant waitresses have an added pressure. This is not an excuse for her, but it is a stressful time. Her emotions are not under her control as they ordinarily would be, so we have to be compassionate about that.
If you think about it as an accident, and an embarrassing accident at that, you might want to return to the restaurant as a peace maker. Speak to her gently and tell her that you are not angry over the situation and that you understand her stressful time. Wish her well in the future and tell her that in all the calamity that took place, you forgot to leave a goodwill tip for the baby.
Forget the soup! That is history....you're over it!
Give her a ten-spot in an envelope and tell her it is a gift for the baby in case you don't see her anymore. Assure her that there are no hard feelings, so that she can close that chapter in "The horrors of waiting tables as a pregnant woman."
You will feel so much better after you leave the restaurant....
2007-09-20 15:46:20 · answer #3 · answered by joe_on_drums 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Tips are optional. Never think it is something you MUST do.
Spilling food on customers is not considered a good thing to do. But accidents happen. What did she do AFTER she spilled the soup?
Did she make an effort to fix the problem or make it right? (Crying and fussing do not count.)
Did you get another bowl of soup for free?
Did you get an offer to pay for the cleaning of your clothing?
Did she bring a towel and some cold water from the kitchen to hopefully prevent stains?
Or did she just say sorry, cry and fuss a little and leave the clean up to you?
If she did not make some specific effort, then not leaving a tip is perfectly acceptable. You after all are going to have to pay to clean your clothing and in the meantime, you wear wet smelling clothing.
2007-09-20 14:54:23 · answer #4 · answered by forgivebutdonotforget911 6 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Well, did you learn something from this? Never order soup if the waitress is pregnant. Go with a salad instead.
(Myself, I would have increased her tip.)
2007-09-21 03:17:53 · answer #5 · answered by Chetco 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First a backgrounder on how the TIP came about. In early times, a TIP is given "to ensure promptness" of service. And should have to be given before you sit and order at your table. Now, the tip is given as a validation of service. If you felt you were not satisfied with the service, you can choose not to tip. It's your prerogative. Also, there's a standard percentage of tipping. You can choose to observe that standard practice of at least 5% or depends on how generous you'd like to be in sharing your blessings.
2007-09-20 15:16:14 · answer #6 · answered by samantha082108 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You were absolutely right. Pregnant women shouldn't be allowed to waitress. What if the soup fell on the fetus? AND she cried and fussed?! She's lucky you didn't have her stoned!
Oh, how I miss the B.C.'s!
2007-09-21 00:36:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cried? Who knows what discomfort & stress the pregnancy, or other factors, could be putting on her? Maybe she probably still deserved some sort of tip for her other efforts, even less than the usual amount. I'd even consider going back and giving her tip, just to show her no hard feelings. You never know what sort of a big difference that little gesture may mean to her. Call it a random act of kindness.
2007-09-20 14:57:46 · answer #8 · answered by Mo 1 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Well... she was probably a little emotional if she was pregnant and having to work on her feet while pregnant; can't be easy. I am a heavy tipper because my mother was a waitress. The lady probably doesn't make a lot of money, lives off tips and has a kid coming. I would still have tipped her; maybe not as much or asked Management to comp my meal.
2007-09-20 14:51:49 · answer #9 · answered by L A 6 · 6⤊ 2⤋
Wow... if you hadn't mentioned that she was pregnant then maybe I could understand not giving her a tip. If that was the only thing she did wrong then you are wrong for not tipping her! No one is perfect and let me tell you some of those plates are HEAVY. Geez she's pregnant give her a damn break, you don't what happened to her. Maybe she HAS to work because he jack*** of a bf that got her pregnant left her.
2007-09-20 16:27:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋