There have always been feelings between me and my cousin (his mum is my mums sister) and for over 17 years we have fought the feelings, however when my marriage broke down, we got together and have recently got enagaged. the family are not happy about it but most have accepted us for who we are and accepted that we are adults (we are both in our mid 30's) i know some feel that marrying cousins is wrong but you can grow up next door to someone all your life and fal in love with them so why cant you fall in love with your cousin. (for info we had not seen each other for several years when we got together this year). I dont want to get acceptance for this i would just like to know peoples views on this. After all who decides who you can and cant fall in love with? And forget the american states we are both british and both live in the UK...Can we get married here and also can we legally get married abroad (Cyprus?)
2007-09-20 06:56:31 · 64 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
For all of you so concerned about our children, i cannot have children so there will be ill effects on kids.....
2007-09-20 07:27:30 · update #1
My grandparents are cousins and have been happily married for 57 years. They got married during a time in which the rules on who and how to marry were far stricter than they are now but they loved each other so went for it anyway. If it's love then pretty much anyting is okay in my mind, after all, if we all had absolute control of our hearts the world would be a much more boring place :) If you're still concerned about it then I'll also add this....my grandad has been a minister for the Church of Ireland for over sixty years....if it's okay for a religious man to marry his cousin, then i see no reason why you shouldn't marry whoever you love :) Just ignore the judgments others will make of you...you're in love....let the world know it :) Good luck
2007-09-21 00:01:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Personally I wouldn't marry a cousin but each to their own, it isn't illegal here (i'm british living in the UK), and sometimes you really can't help who you fall in love with.
It certainly does not bother me, as long as two people are happy should that not be all that matters, you could both go with other people and be totally miserable for the rest of your lives, or be together and be blissfully happy instead.
I know you don't want acceptance, but if you did I would gladly give you mine, I think it's great that two people can make each other happy.
2007-09-21 23:07:05 · answer #2 · answered by Steph 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think this happens more than most realise - i had a relationship for more than 2 years with my cousin. the reason we broke up was a combination of telling family members and long distance relationship. all my friends (and i told a lot of them !) were really supportive and were not in the least bit grossed out. hey lots of famous people married cousins - einstein, darwin and more recently gretta sacchi (who also had a child with him).
i think having told your family you should go for it - for me thats the hardest thing over. why would you care what people think about you as long as you are happy ? the only ones i cared about hurting were my family - there will always be minority groups that people find difficult accecpting - not so long ago it was the gay population but they are more or less accepted these days by everyone.
i dont know about Cyprus but you can get married in the UK.
2007-09-20 22:57:36 · answer #3 · answered by 123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, I believe that true love knows no boundaries and to love your cousin is a brave stance even if there are feelings involved. There is always the moral issue to think of. While we look at the moral aspect of things, it might seem gross and sick to certain communities yet in other communities is totally acceptable, I feel people should not judge based on their upbringing. The question to you is it allowed in your community. This kind of thing has being happening for years in other communities and I for one give you the thumps up. I hope getting people's view is not an indication that you are feeling uncomfortable with the situation.
2007-09-20 07:37:00 · answer #4 · answered by hazelpride 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't think marrying your cousin is such a bad thing!! I've read your story and I thought I should answer as maybe this I'm going to tell you helps. Last Sat I attended a wedding, and the bride and the groom were cousins too, they both were in the same situation ( they lived apart and they hardly saw each other, they loved each other, but they were scared to confess in case the other didn't feel the same) It was also hard for the families at the beginning, but I must say that now things are perfectly normal and they love each other a lot and their wedding was simply lovely!! So don't worry at all, and why shouldn't you get married? you don't have to worry about what people think...it is your life and you just have 1 life to enjoy!! I don't know if you can get married in the UK or Cyprus to be honest, as I live in Spain...if you cannot marry there, marry here!! you will be more than welcome!! Best of luck!!
2007-09-20 07:24:57 · answer #5 · answered by Lola 4 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Check you family history and make sure there aren't too many cases of close relatives marrying each other. If there aren't on either side or at least there aren't many and they all happened long ago it should all be cool. I wouldn't advertise the fact that you are first cousins very much though.
I found a nice bit of information regarding what is and is not allowed marriage wise for the state I'm being married in at about.com, just search weddings and marriage. I'm sure they will also have something telling you what is and isn't allowed in the UK as well.
2007-09-20 07:19:49 · answer #6 · answered by Manny 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi just want to tell you I have been with my cousin for 7 years now, we are to be married in march cant wait he is my perfect partner. I have 2 kids from my first marriage which lasted 26 years so it just shows you cant help who you fall in love with.
I wish you both the very best in life, if you are as happy as we are your life together will be paradise.
2007-09-22 11:36:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's perfectly legal in the UK, I know it is viewed as incest in other countries and that is why a lot of people will respond with horrible answers to you, but if it is legal then you are not doing anything wrong. It's not something I would do (you haven't seen my cousins!!) but if it is what you both want then yes you can legally marry in the UK, I don't know what the law is in Cyprus though.
2007-09-20 21:14:51 · answer #8 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can not speak from experience on this one, but who am I to judge. Everyone has their own right to believe what they want to believe in.
From my understanding there could be some medical complications when conceving or giving birth to a child. Because the blood types are so similiar it can cause birth defects and even lead to death of the child. I can not tell you this from a scientific stand point only from what I have heard. If you are indeed planning on having children then I would really look into this more before trying for children.
I don't personally feel like I could understand the situation fully, however, I think I could see how someone growing up so closely to someone else maybe could feel this way. I hope this helps. And don't let other people live your life for you.
2007-09-20 07:08:01 · answer #9 · answered by Jamie 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You can get married here and i would presume as you are booking to go to Cyprus from the UK, and presumably booking the wedding through agents, you should be able to get married there too but I'm not 100% sure.
In my opinion there is nothing wrong with cousins marrying. My husbands Aunt and Uncle are cousins and they have a beautiful, smart and funny daughter and have been happily married for many years. I think as long as you are happy and in love and you are not breaking the law or hurting others (unless it is the small-minded few who don't agree with cousin's marrying) then good on you, i hope you are both very happy!! Good luck!
2007-09-20 07:19:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋