I was invited to a wedding at the end of last month.The wedding is for this Sunday at an Elks club.This was a very fast planned wedding.Along with myself and husband my daughter (who is under 10) was invited to the wedding with her own invitation. I am what they would consider a distant cousin (4th I think). What should I put in the envelope for me and my husband and what should I put for my daughter. They requested cash only. Please Help.
2007-09-20 06:19:53 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think specifically requesting cash is so tacky. Put in whatever you want to give and whatever you can afford and don't worry about it. Don't feel you need to give extra for your daughter-- kids under the age of 18 shouldn't be getting their own wedding invitations anyway.
2007-09-20 06:24:48 · answer #1 · answered by Meredith 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Let's put aside the fact that your relative is really crass for demanding cash gifts. Save it for another topic.
How much to give? Well, how close are you to the couple - relative or not - if she weren't a relative, are you two fast-friends since your sand-box days? When was the last time you spoke with each other - at Great Aunt Martha's funeral 5 years ago? And what do your finances look like?
The rule of thumb is give something nice - without breaking your own budget. So, if you're feeling generous and are well-heeled - say a couple of hundred bucks - for the whole family. If you're not so well-off or you really don't know/care/think about this couple a lot - send $50 - again for the whole family.
Remember, you are NOT obligated in the least to give a gift at all.
2007-09-20 07:18:01 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answer to this depends on how they asked for the money. See Q&A below. If they did this the correct way, give what you’re able to. If they put this in their invitation, I suggest nothing. Too many couples are throwing etiquette out the window.
Q. Is it awfully rude to suggest monetary gifts? We already have a blender (and pretty much everything else!).
A. Well, you can't ask for any specific gifts from your guests, monetary or otherwise. What you can do is let them know if they ask that you would prefer cash gifts. Let your parents, siblings, wedding party, and close friends know too, and have them tell guests the same thing if they're asked. But don't announce it in a formal way to your guests (whatever you do, don't put a card in the invitation!). If guests are curious, they'll ask someone close to you what you would most like to receive. Some guests are going to want to buy you material gifts, so it's a good idea to register somewhere, at least for some stuff. And of course, be sure to accept and acknowledge (that means thank-you notes) every gift gracefully. As for money gifts: Let the giver know how you intend to spend their gift in your thank-you card.
2007-09-20 06:35:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think they are very tacky. Your daughter is only 10 first off. Second requesting cash only is extreamly tacky. I would give a gift as a family as the invitation should have been. I think $20 to $30 is sufficient
2007-09-20 06:33:23 · answer #4 · answered by Erin 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If they requested cash only as part of the invitation, I would, in order to not encourage the bad behavior, send a gift of towels, gourmet coffee, whatever you think they can use, but not cash.
If you asked the bride's mom, and she said that they preferred cash, that's an entirely different thing, and I might do cash, or a gift certificate.
The amount is highly variable depending on the area of the country in which you live and your family tradition. In Minnesota, in our family, it would be $100.00 from the three of you.
2007-09-20 06:46:39 · answer #5 · answered by Tricia R 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I cant believe they actually had the guts to put cash only. If they are that desperate for money then they shouldnt be getting married in the first place. I wouldnt go out of my way to give them to much money. I would give only 25-30, maybe. How much were you willing to spend on a gift anyway? Sign it from you, your husband and your daughter. You could also get an american express, visa or mastercard gift card.
2007-09-20 14:26:01 · answer #6 · answered by maria 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would buy one card from you your husband and daughter. She is 10 seriously wow send her her own invitation. Thats tacky and so is just asking for cash. i say one card with a check with proably 30-50 dollars
2007-09-20 06:28:36 · answer #7 · answered by MEMYMOM 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Since they requested cash, I would give them a nice card.
Gifts are never required for a wedding whether you can attend or not.
Are you close? If you are, $20. How tacky of them to request money.
2007-09-20 07:27:36 · answer #8 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Which is more tacky? The fact that they requested cash or the fact that they requested cash twice from you. Cash from you and your hubby and cash from you daughter! Wow. I would send them a gift certificate from the entire family.
2007-09-20 07:21:35 · answer #9 · answered by BNic 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh thats tacky. I would never have done that they are just being greedy sending one to your daughter also. All I would do is put maybe $5-10 in hers and $30-40 in yours (depending on your finances of course).
2007-09-20 06:43:20 · answer #10 · answered by Melissa G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋