i don't get noticed much, and when i do it's always the shy and dummy guy.... never had a serious relationship and frankly i don't get men sometimes...
anyway, is it all about looks? i'm not beautiful, but no worse then some.... and yes, i can carry on a conversation
ps, don't get me wrong, sometimes being invisible suits me just fine, but i was just wondering what do other females in the same position have to say about this
2007-09-20 06:16:15 · 24 answers · asked by catharsis 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, I feel invisible to men, too, most of of the time. If you are not very talkative and don't wear flashy or revealing clothes, this tends to be the case. I hate to say this, but sometimes I think the dating game really is all about looks. The movie star look alike will be noticed first if the guy doesn't have much time. Just because you're not noticed first, it doesn't mean you are ugly. Maybe it means you find better things to do with your time besides fixing your hair and that you don't send out promiscuous vibes. In the case of women like us, perhaps it just takes more time for guys to recognize our positive traits because we don't aggressively put ourselves out there.
My aunt explained it to me this way: girls who don't get noticed much are like the apples at the top of a tree; guys don't seek them out because they are a lot of work, but really they are better quality than the applies lying around on the ground. Just give yourself time.
As for the shy guys, why not give them a chance? It could be that they're not totally dumb, just awkward around you because they like you. See if you might have some common ground before you reject them. In the meantime, don't feel that you have to change your personality just to attract a man. If you like being invisible sometimes, that's fine. In time, you'll find someone who will appreciate you, and you'll be all the better for it because he'll be attracted to your personality, not just your body.
2007-09-20 06:29:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
I used to be invisible in High School. I was very shy and had very low self confidence. People can read your confidence level a mile away.
After High School something changed. I became slightly less shy and kinda found myself. It was like the whole world noticed. I wasn't getting hit on everyday, but I definitely noticed a positive change from the male species.
You have to feel comfortable in your own skin. I believe that is the key. Sure guys notice beauty before brains/personality but the good ones will wait for personality/brains.
I am 25 now and have braces and wear glasses most of the time (something most people would deem as two thumbs down). I still get noticed by the opposite sex. Even at work in my hugely hideous oversized uniform ( with the glasses and braces) they flirt with me.
All I can say is figure out who you are and learn to love yourself for that. Good Luck.
2007-09-20 06:23:33 · answer #2 · answered by GoldenButterflyKisses 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Men have the uncanny ability to be shallow. I know this because just like my avatar clearly states I am a man (and possibly not wearing any clothes for some reason or another. I do that sometimes) To be shallow can be a crippling trait which makes people easily overlook a good thing and it sucks. Its really sounds to me like you don't think you are beautiful for some reason so how about this... Go out and get your hair and makeup done so you like the way you look. Lure a guy in and seal the deal with your awesome personality. You seem smart and brains are very attractive in a woman.
2007-09-20 06:31:02 · answer #3 · answered by Jeebus 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? If you aren't getting noticed right now that doesn't even mean you are ugly possibly just no skanky which guys at a certain age want because many have one thing in mind. Wait as you get older and become more of a grown woman you will have men with careers that will want a woman that can carry on a smart intelligent conversation. The right guy will find you attractive in every way. Look at it this way you won't have to kiss many frogs to find your prince. Enjoy you have fun and enjoy yourself and friends build your own future career, education, hobbies and you will find someone someday worth you.
2007-09-20 06:26:15 · answer #4 · answered by Nessa 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think of myself as attractive and beautiful. There are some nights when i go out where I attract a lot of guys. Some nights, Im invisible too. Everyone goes through that every once in a while. Maybe if you notice someone you are interested in, make a move and they may get off to your personality.
2007-09-20 06:22:37 · answer #5 · answered by solelone 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am a larger woman in her 50's. I have noticed that most of the time, when in a small group, people with talk to those all around me, but not make eye contact with me once. When I try to talk, I'm usually talked "over" or ignored comletely. Most men will look at the ceiling or wall when passing me, as though to say hello would be "beneath" them.. and I am not worthy of a simple look. Saddens me that people can be so shallow and immature. I tell you what, though... I've learned to listen more and watch more. In doing so, I've gained all kinds of information that most would overlook. I have learned to work around situations because I've gained so much information on something or someone. So I've decided to be smart with this and not offended. Being Invisible definately has it's advantages!
2007-09-20 06:27:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I'm a guy and was invisible to woman a long time ago and I was and still am to good to hang out at bars.
Do something and go places that have lots of men, you and some girls learn to shoot pool for instance.
Go to camera shows.
Take math classes and computer classes that guys take.
Take a continuing ed class on flirting.
Many people must have this trouble.
2007-09-20 06:30:45 · answer #7 · answered by Will 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Rule no. 1: EVERYBODY IS BEAUTIFUL!!!
If you don't feel beautiful nobody is going to think you are! that is the first thing you need to deal with. No matter what you look like on the outside if you are beautiful inside it radiates outside and people would notice you because of the energy you disperse.
I used to feel that way until like 5 months ago when i decided to live for me and me alone. Now everywhere i go people turn to look at me and compliment me all the way. I even get more dates than i can handle!
Work on yourself and you'll be amazed at the difference.
2007-09-20 06:26:15 · answer #8 · answered by let'stalk 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Hi Cat,
Sounds to me like your laying back to much and allowing the situations unfold rather then making your move on someone YOU may like.
It's not all about looks honestly if you’re a cool laid-back girl who has a tight little body and a brain to match then you’re in for some fun but if you’re too laid-back and don't approach or engage in playful banter then how are you going to be noticed?
Also remember those girls that are noticed for ONLY their bodies guess what is going to happen with them they are going to be played with and dumped time and time again.
Tatt...
2007-09-20 06:34:40 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You're invisible 'cos you hide.
Come out, and let your real self out. People, not only guys will be attracted to you like bees!
We all have a personal energy vibration field. We tend not to be noticed if we cover it up. Let yourself go, occassionally, not too much, and express your personality to the world.
You'd get guys, and even better, the right guy for you.
Best of luck! :)
2007-09-20 06:24:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋