Why are kids today so disrespectful towards their parents, even though they have good and loving parents?

Answer 1

I think many parents have been told things such as "everyone should win", "no one is bad" etc that they don't set boundries for their children because it would be too "confining. This creates children who think they know everything (already common to kids) and lack of discipline which makes a bad combination. In a pre school in the US they actually have a policy that you cannot build your towers with legos over so many legos high because "it might make another student feel bad who cannot build a tower as high". I think that kind of thinking leads to children thinking everything they do is ok and the world revolves around them and not being forced to find their place in the world.
I am not a parent but I know my parents set boundries and limits. I was punished when I crossed those limits but they would hear me out and listen to me if I had a valid excuse or even thought I did (or even tried to con them and they knew it was a con job). In the end I knew they were in control. If I had said some of the things to my parents that I heard other kids say to theirs, I would never have watched tv, gone with my friends or had any kind of fun ever again. It was unthinkable and even though I am 19 now, it still is.
Good and loving parents means the parents set boundries and give guidance. A parent that allows such disrespect is not as "good and loving" as you think since that causes problems for the child later on. Not everyone will think they can do no wrong and accept disrespect from them. I mean, in the real world, being disrespectful can lead to a lot of trouble so it might as well lead to trouble at home when you are young so you get the idea and learn the concept.
Ok, that little rant is done. Whew (wipes brow)

Answer 2

You know why??? Because even though these parents are " good and loving " people they really do not see what they are doing. When you give your children every thing they want and more you start to create a child that thinks he has it made. The first time that you don't deliver on demand the child will start the ball rolling and hell breaks loose. I have two sons and neither one has ever disrespected me in any way. Although I have money and enough to buy what ever I could want, I do not buy on demand. When I know that it is time for my children to get some thing " I " make that decision not them. They will let me know what the are interested in and I will decide if they get it or not. There has been times that I have sad no and never bought the item. They understand how I run things and they have been raised to know that since birth.
Most people would rather buy to keep them quite and that's the worst thing that they could do. When you say no that's it NO...keep to your word and you will be alright.

Answer 3

If you're in the U.S. and they're being physically abusive, call the police. If they're being verbally abusive, sneak a tape recorder and contact child protective services. Once you're about 14, they can't even pull the 'spanking clause' anymore. Unless you're in imminent physical danger, make a ground rule. "If you lay hands on me in anger, I will call the police." Beware that following through with this will result in irreversible change in your life, foster homes are not fun, and you will have to quickly become very independent. Now, if you're exaggerating about the physical and verbal abuse, but they're still being stiffs and rigid, there'll come a point when you're 16 or so that you'll be able to make your own choices. Look forward to that day. Make sure you don't overcompensate. Abuse is sapping. It is difficult to escape and it is difficult to cope with. If you aren't exagerating, you might need to call for outside help. Depression is not easy to cope with, nor can you get help with it online. You will need to find a social worker or psychologist to help you work through it. Depression is as much an injury of the mind as a broken arm is an injury of the body. Edit: I'm going to say that you probably should not rely on peers for counseling / other help if this is really an abusive situation. A teacher would be a good place to start, but they're not psychologists, they're teachers. What a teacher will do is contact child protective services or another organization. As scary as it all may sound, don't let the fear of the unknown keep you in an abusive household, but don't cry wolf unless it's really a wolf, which by your description it is, but it also sounds a bit exaggerated.

Answer 4

That's a great question.
My son is 2 and is, in no way, like this.
However, I was as an older child and teenager. (Enough to make me hope for all boys so that I don't get "paid back", LOL!)
I grew up w/ 2 very loving, wonderful parents. I talked back to them a lot and was very disrespectful. Not to other people, just to my parents. Then, one day, (around the age of 21) it just hit me. I realized how horrible I treated them all of those years and felt sooooo bad. The only thing I can figure out is that it must be the child. If my parents did something wrong in raising me, I have yet to figure out what it was. I was disciplined often but their methods didn't seem to work for me. I 'was' very strong-willed, stubborn, self-centered, and rebellious. I think it was just my personality. Luckily, I have learned from my mistakes. If that's not it, maybe I just needed a different disciplining style?

Answer 5

I'm not exactly sure, I feel it has something to do with the moral breakdown of society and laws that have been passed that take control and authority out of the parents hands. Child abuse is a very serious issue, but the laws that exist today prevent parents from being able to discipline their children without fear of legal repercussions. For instance, I know a mother whose teen repeatedly hit her and pushed her down, one day the mother lost her temper and defended herself and gave her daughter a good smack. The daughter called the police on her and the officer told her never to raise her hand against her daughter again or she would be prosecuted, he told her to call the police if this occured again. So that is what the mother did. Her daughter is in a foster home now because the mother couldn't control her with words. So parents either withstand abuse from their teens or they lose them. Sad but true. ;-(

Answer 6

Part of this falls on the parents and letting them get away with being so disrespectful in the very beginning. If you let your 3 year old be the boss then it is so much worse later on. It has nothing to do with being loving, but being a good parent. You can't let your children walk on the parents when they are younger cause they will do it for the rest of there life.

Answer 7

Because the parents tolerate it. My neice has always treated her parents like doormats because they let her. They never ever corrected her behavior. When she would say to her mother "I'm thirsty. Fix me a drink" (said in a hatefull tone of voice); her mother would get up and fix it.

When I had kids, I wanted to make sure they did NOT act like my neice. I began by teaching them to respect everyone. If my child said to me "I'm thirsty. fix me a drink" (no matter what tone of voice); I would say. "How do we ask nicely" and the I would wait for them to nicely ask "May I please have a drink". If they didn't ask nicely, they didn't get the drink. None of them ever died of dehydration lol.

I always began this from the time they were toddlers. My kids are now 15,13,8 and 6 and I have always gotten compliments on how respectful and well behaved all my kids are......My neice on the other hand is now 23, lives at home, has two kids her parents have to raise because she is always out partying, and she has a drug habit.....

My sister and BIL were loving parents, and gave her anything she wanted. The problem is that they didn't give her disipline and in my opinion didn't parent her. They were too busy trying to be her friend

Anyway that's my 2 cents worth,
Mindi

Answer 8

Many of them are raised in daycare where they pick up the behavior of the other children. They learn from TV and movies, too.
If you think you are "good and loving" maybe that is as far as you go in your parenting. Parents also need to set rules and enforce them. Children crave guidelines. If parents are too soft, the children will not respect their authority.
My parents took in my adopted brother when he was 12 years old. He still claims that the first time he ever felt loved was when my mother spanked him for the first time. Previous care-givers hadn't cared enough about how he acted. (He's now 79)

Answer 9

There are some children who are and some who aren't disrespectful. You can't expect to raise perfect children they are all different you just have to know as a parent how to discipline them and correct them if they are acting inappropriately. My parents raised all four of us me and my three sisters very strictly so being disrespectful was never an option but we were also afraid to be friends and be close with our parents so that is also bad. Just remember to be strict and keep your authority as a parent but don't over do it.

Answer 10

It seems to be acceptable today. It has been for a while.
The parents should speak to their children about it to find out what's going on. I don't think enough parents take the time to do that. It doesn't seem like it.