i feel like a hostage in my own home & am having bad thoughts like i wish he'd go in his house and keel over. what a relief that would be for my family. if i go outside, he stares me down. if we work in yard, he points his chair this way to get a better view. needless to say, i don't work in my yard anymore because i am a private person. i wish he'd leave me alone. i've made it clear i don't like him. if i see him crossing hte street, i will run inside and make the kids get the door and say i'm busy. he checks his watch when we leave and come home. if we go on bikes, he shuffles out to the street to watch till we turn. he was getting my mail, and hollering for me to come ge it. then he got attitude cuz i wouldn't go get it, i sent my son and he got ugly with my kid asking him "why didn't you mom come, is she scared of me? aren't you going to say thank you?" i told the postmaster about it, hopefully that will stop. he drinks beer all day. yesterday, i flipped him off.
2007-09-20 05:52:03 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
and get this, we went on vacation for a few days, when i came home there was a feminine pad in my front lawn. i'm sure he did it. i guess it sat on the front lawn for the world to see while were gone. so we threw it back in his yard and it went back and forth a few times till i guess he threw it away. btw, it was't used. but still is that sick r what? next door lady feels the same way, she is also a nice looking woman, and refused to do yard work cuz he stares too much. another neighbor who is sick in the mind, goes over there and drinks beer with him she's a total redneck and i can't stand her either. it's awful, and i think i may rent out my house and move to an apartment or townhome just to get away from him.
2007-09-20 05:59:15 · update #1
terrie, you asked why he comes over. well for any reason he can think of. for example, he will say he saw my name in the newspaper. (i made the dean's list every semester, then graduated with honors) he'd knock every time and tell the kids to tell me to come over to get the paper. like i'm sure, why didn't he just bring it over if he wanted me to have it? i don't give a flip about that anyway as far as having the newspaper article. i DID try being nice to him and brought some chicken dinners about a year ago and was going to eat with him because i'm sure he is old and lonely etc... but he started talking about his bleeding hemmrhoid. and he also made a comment that day about my nice legs, acting as though he was speaking of the food but he was staring at my legs. made me sick. i don't send a litle kid over there. my son is 5'2" and weighs 146 lbs. he could whip the old man if he had to. my daughter however, who is 10 knows that she is to go nowhere near him.
2007-09-20 06:25:55 · update #2
This poor old guy is obviously very bored and lonely. You should contact area churches, doctors, even nursing homes to find out what kind of programs and services they can offer someone like him. They should be able to pair him up with a companion to help pass the time.
In the meantime, stop acting like he's the devil. you're teaching your children to be mean to/afraid of older people, and that's wrong. This man has done nothing to hurt you - he only annoys you. I highly doubt he put a maxi pad on your lawn. That sounds more like a teen prank to me.
2007-09-20 06:32:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is creepy. I am not a cop nor a lawyer so I don't take this for "absolute" but as creepy as it is, I'm not sure he has committed any crime (other than screwing with your mail, that's a federal offense). What is the approximate age of the old goat? If he is that long in the tooth, then maybe you and your other neighbor should just go for broke and walk into your yard naked. Maybe it would send him over the edge and problem solved. lol. Moving for me would be out of the question, that is your home and to let someone push you out of it is crazy. If it were my wife (assuming you have a husband) I'd go over there and have a talk with him. If not, then you'll have to intimidate him some other way? Find a way to make yourself unattractive to him. Find out what he hates most, then either learn, or pretend to love whatever that is. If all else fails, plant some bushes. Hope I helped.
2007-09-20 06:06:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is he in a wheelchair? If he's old and disabled he's probably got little to do and less to live for. His only hobby is being nosey and looking at what other people do. If he's terribly old and feeble then he's probably not much of a physical threat, but you must insist to him personally that he is NOT to touch your mail or come near you or your kids. Do not move, do not show weakness, and do not let him make you feel like a prisoner in your house. If he's staring at you while you're gardening, spray him with the dang hose and say "oops" or something. If it becomes a bigger problem, call the cops EVERY time he does something, so that they can have a record of the problem with him. Tell them about the mail tampering and the general creepiness. Police usually favor helping families and parents/children over crotchety, rude old men.
2007-09-20 06:03:14 · answer #3 · answered by J E 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a lonely, bored person (not that that excuses his rude behavior!). Anything you can think of to redirect his interests to more constructive outlets?
Maybe you should start suggesting activities he could become involved in (giving him leaflets about these events or groups might be helpful); or (if you are bold in your faith) invite him to your church & introduce him to some of the older people there.
And build a privacy fence.
P.S.
I just read your additional comments. Call your local police and ask them how to find out if this guy is a registered sex offender. If he is, ask if it's possible to make him move because you have kids. If not, definitely keep your kids away from him & move as soon as you can.
Since he seems to delight in provoking you, it's probably best to react as little as possible. I don't understand this mentality, but apparently some people actually enjoy upsetting or angering others. Even a negative reaction can be a reinforcement to their bad behavior. Stop throwing things back & forth between your yards; just throw them out, and make no response. After awhile of no reaction, he may get bored with you and try bothering someone else. What a shriveled soul he must have! You could pray for him.
2007-09-20 06:00:34 · answer #4 · answered by Rella 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, this man does not work, so you must be his entertainment. He enjoys knowing he can push one of your buttons and get a response.You have to stop giving him that satisfaction. It is just stooping to his level.You can't win with an obnoxious drunk! Ignore him would be the best thing. Seriously, act like he does not exist.But, if all else fails, I like to give a wave with my thumb almost touching my nose and my fingers fully extended and waving if you get my drift.It makes me feel like I am flipping the person off, but they are usually too stupid to figure it out.I live across the street myself from an 83 year old busy body. I cannot have any company without her coming out to see who it is. I ride a motorcycle, so she has told other neighbors she would call the police on me if I have loud bikes here.If I work on my flowers beds, she manages to come up from behind and start questioning me about things that have happened at my house. I just stand up and walk in the house like I didn't hear a thing. Silence is golden.
2007-09-20 07:07:51 · answer #5 · answered by Harley Lady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's an old guy. He probably has no family, no friends (for whatever reason, maybe everyone's dead) He's not going to be on this earth for long. You have no idea what he's gone through in his life -- could be traumatic, could be interesting, could be a learning experience for you and your son.
Change your attitude. When you cook, make extra and bring some food over for him. Have a bbq and invite him. Stop flipping him off.
His life is obviously extremely boring for his high point of the day to be watching you do mundane stuff. Go over and talk to him if he continues to do this. Ask him if he realizes it makes you very uncomfortable.
In other words, try to be adult about the whole thing, open up the communication lines, and set an example for your son.
2007-09-20 06:03:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Mail: Inform him it is ILLEGAL to go into someone else's mailbox for any reason. Back up your threat if he does it again with a call to the USPS or cops. Take pictures and video footage for evidence.
Yardwork: I'd say ignore him, wear baggy clothes, and go about your business.
Door: Stop making your kids deal with him. Grow some cajones and say yourself that you are busy. BTW WHY does he stop by?
Feminine pad: You REALLY have NO PROOF that he did it. I would not be surprised if it were him, but unless you saw him throw it, he is innocent until proven guilty.
Does he have anyone to visit him? He sounds lonely (and a little loony).
2007-09-20 06:01:33 · answer #7 · answered by Terri 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, listening devices, that's hardcore. That goes beyond nosiness to a shear criminal invasion of privacy. My neighborhood is quite "live and let live," but it's to the point where we don't usually even welcome new people when they move into the rentals. I try to say hi to people, but that's about it. However, I do keep an eye on what's going on - the people in the alley behind me (yes, they lived in a trailer in the alley) used to get into crazy fights and when one of them threatened to kill the other and pulled out a rifle, I did call the police. There's no way I could have a potential murder on my conscience. So I think it's a fine line between "concerned citizen" and nosy...
2016-05-19 02:43:59 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moving to an apartment building isn't the answer, either. I live in an apartment building, and I have a neighbor that is weird too. He comes out of his apartment if he hears someone out in the hallway, and starts talking to them about whether they go to church or not, tells stupid jokes, blocks people's way because he thinks it's funny, and says, "Nope, you can't go anywhere today." and stuff like that. He's also a very touchy-feely person. I go out of my way to avoid him. He blocked my way a couple of times, and I literally had to push him out of my way....and he also knows now that I hate being touched by strangers. Everyone in our building avoids him like the plague.
I guess I would start documenting your neighbor's harrassment. I would also warn him that if he bothers you or your kids again, you'll call the cops...and stick to it. You might also tell him you're documenting his behavior. If you don't want to confront him in person, write him a letter. If you do confront him in person, have another adult go with you as a witness/protection.
2007-09-20 06:13:44 · answer #9 · answered by Rose E 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow this is creepy, by just reading your headline I thought I could relate, I have a neighboor who is always looking out the window at me, when I go shopping and bring stuff home, she see's me bring it in and she will call and ask what was in the bags!!! Or when I have guests over she will call and ask who's car is in the driveway!!!
Mind you she is an 80+ year old lady and probably lonely, but still my driveway is over 200 yards long!! lol So she uses binoculars!! LOL
2007-09-20 06:03:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋