How do you feel when someone calls you 'out of your name'... like sweetie, honey, or hun?

Question

I work in healthcare and am constantly reminding my nurse aides NOT to do this to people. They think it is no big deal, but I can't stand for them to talk to people this way. Am I wrong?

Answer 1

Are you their supervisor? Give them a formal reprimand that will be placed in their personnel files. No professional should refer to their clients as "sugar", "hon", "sweetie". It's humiliating and unprofessional. ONLY if the client initiates the familiarity or they are friends.

Answer 2

I work in the healthcare setting as well and never call a patient Honey/Hun/Sweetie right away. I first develop a relationship with the patient and actually, usually only call them hun when we are actually doing the procedure and they are extremely nervous/scared to help calm them down. But otherwise, anyone that is older than me is Mr. so and so or Mrs/Ms so and so and usually people of my age or lower I will call by their first names only. I have never had any complaints yet with the way I do it. It doesn't offend me when I am called it...but then again, I am also southern.

Answer 3

well it really alllllll depends on the context! healthcare though is quite iff-y. what sort of healtcare do u do? hospital? private practice? many people take these as terms on endearment and when in a position that they need healthcare, hearing these things may be comforting. however some people are offended by it, and if u work in a private practice office i think i would try to stay away from using these terms until u get to know a patient so u can feel them out and determine weather theyre fine with it or if it will make them uncomfortable.

Answer 4

It really depends on the context. I'm an attorney, and it would be extremely offensive if one of my colleagues or an opposing attorney called me "honey." On the other hand, it's sweet when my husband calls me "sweetie." What about the large grey area in between? Much of it depends on the tone. If it's said in a sexist, demeaning, or patronizing tone, it's offensive. If it's said by someone who is genuinely trying to make me comfortable and tries to do it more informally ("honey") as opposed to formally ("ma'am"), I'm not as bugged.

As for your sitch, I'll share this. I have had a couple of major surgeries -- anyone who was keeping me clean and pain-free in my post-op could call me honey -- I didn't mind. And my elderly Dad spent a fair amount of time in the hospital when he was ill (he passed away from cancer) -- I can tell you that he adored the Filipino nurses and nurse aides who called him and all of their patients "honey." In a hospital, I don't mind it as long as they are giving the best care they can.

Answer 5

What's the problem in calling people little names like that? I think it's very nice of someone to call me such things. It's really just a formality and, to be honest, I'm pretty guilty of it as a receptionist. Your aides are simply trying to be polite and friendly and there's nothing wrong with that. At least they're trying to associate with the patients! I can't stand going to a doctor's office or hospital where the employees act like they want nothing to do with me and simply take my blood pressure or prick my finger without so much as saying "How are you today?". To be honest, I think you should just let it go. The aides could be doing a LOT worse than simply calling people "sweetie" and "darlin'".

Answer 6

it depends on the person.

if its an old woman, and she calls me hun, honey, sweetie, its endearing.

if a woman with a heavy texas accent says honey, its usually cute

if a guy did it to a woman, not cute also if someone without the appropriate accent said it, not cute, or someone young said it, not cute.

I think in certain situations and professions it can be helpful to bring that sensitivity, endearing, calming aspect of those words into play, again, so long as the right people are saying it. But, in the work place, you cant tell one person they can say it, but another they cant, that wouldnt be fair. I would honestly say you are right in what you are doing in the end.

Answer 7

No, you aren't. Nurses and nursing assistants are taught not to speak to residents/patients in that manner. Even if they have a great affection for them. If the resident/patient gives you permission to address them in that way, fine.

But the elderly especially are to be treated with respect. Calling someone "Honey" or "Sweetie" or anything else other than their name is otherwise innappropriate.

Answer 8

I agree with most people here.... it depends on who it's coming from and the environment. I'd also hate it for a sales person, telemarketer, young male clerk at the store, etc..... to call me such names -- only my BF calls me that. I also found it a little weird when my dad called (as a CUSTOMER) the waitresses or customer service female representatives in general such names ....... but they seemed to like it.

When I've been in the situation you describe though (w/ a nurse) it doesn't bother me that much... otherwise no, I don't like it because it sounds fake to me.... those ppl don't even know me, why do they feel free to call me such names? It doesn't sound sincere and I hate hypocrisy too

Answer 9

You're not 'wrong' but you might be missing a benefit of calling people 'out of their names'.

Calling people these kinds of names helps to lighten up the atmosphere a bit and help patients feel less depersonalized by the hospital / medical system. I'm sure that if I was a patient it would be a little comforting to be called 'sweetie' by a kind nurse instead of 'Mister' or 'Sir'.

Think about the possible psychological benefits to patients of hearing these more casual names.

Answer 10

From a professional point of view it not best to do that. I personally don't mind, but at the same time I like to be respected. It's all about bedside manner. It just depends on the nature of the relationship that your staff builds with their patients.
Like your example if your working on the maternity ward I could see that more, but if your working on the (old ppls) ward it might be best if you show a little more respect since they earned it and that their life might becoming to an end?

Answer 11

It depends on the context; sometimes a sick person would be iritated and sometimes they might appreciate it if it was said in a way that was sincere and reflected caring. When I moved to the South, this was more common, especially among older gentlemen who were raised to believe this was gallantry; after a while I realized this was embedded in their culture and if it began to bother me, would sweetly reply with "darling" or something at the end of my answer. For some people depending on their background, this is considered a polite way of interfacing with people, just as much as ma'am or sir. Health care workers have to work with some very sick people and by not using names it may be easier for them not to become overly emotionally involved with the patient; to me this is ok as long as they are not dehumanizing the patients or using these terms as a form of disrespect.