Night-time toilet troubles with 3 1/2 year old son - is he just not ready?

Question

For the past 3 weeks I've been trying my son without nappies at night. I've been doing all the usual-no drink after 6 p.m; making him go to the toilet at least twice before he finally goes to sleep for the night. Some nights he manages to stay completely dry,but other nights he's wet. When he had his nappy, he would poo in it every night. He won't poo on the toilet, potty, or even in his pants: only in his nappy. Now that he doesn't have a nappy, he's pooing in his pjs at night (and usually weeing a little then too). No matter how often he sits on the toilet (or potty), he will not poo there. He'll hold it in until we get to day 3, when it inevitably comes out at night, despite our constant visits to the loo. I've tried everything to get him to poo on the toilet, but no joy. The other problem is that he very often sleeps through the wetness/pooing at night - it just doesn't wake him. Should I put him back in nappies or persevere, & if so,for how long? I don't want to go back to nappies

Thanks all for your replies and advice! I didn't have enough room to write originally that he has been fully potty trained during the day for almost a year now, but wasn't dry at night until the past few weeks. It's just the continual pooing in the nappy that bothered me. He eats PLENTY of fresh fruit and fibre, so doing the actual poo is no problem! I don't mind the washing as I have a waterproof mattress protector, and I'm also obviously trying not to make too much of an issue of it.
I just wondered whether I was forcing him into going without a nappy at night too soon (as he's sleeping through his accidents). I'm happy to persevere and see how he goes, but I'm also prepared for the fact that he's not quite ready and to put him back into a nappy at night for a few more months. My only concern is that putting him back into a nappy at night doesn't remedy the 'not pooing in the toilet problem', if that makes sense?

Answer 1

feed him lots of fiber fresh fruits veggies whole grain anything and see the doctor too.

if hes wetting at night he needs a pullup or you will be buying a new bed every few months

Answer 2

I too have a 31/2 yr old who is only just dry at night.
What I did was take him to the toilet before bed and again before I went to bed.
For the first week I also got up once after that at about halfway through the night (2:30). I gradually extended the time between the second and third time, by an hour at night 3:30 then 4:30 etc until I stopped it all together.
As for the pooing thing you could try lining the inside of the potty with the nappy to see if he will poo on it.
If this doesn't work you could speak to your health visitor (he/she may have some different ideas).
I wouldn't put him back in nappies as I agree it's not really solving the problem.
I hope this helps, Good luck!!

Answer 3

Is he toilet trained during the day? My 4 year old is toilet trained during the day but not at night yet. Most children are not completely night time trained until 5 or 6 years old. If he is still waking with a wet nappy every morning, then he isn't ready for night time training yet.

Don't push the issue too hard as this could end up having the opposite effect if he feels overwhelmed or stressed by it all. Try just 'chatting' to him about it and how great it will be for him when he is ready. A gentle reminder each night before bed can also help and try taking him to the toilet (even if he's not fully awake) a couple hours after his bedtime (for example, when you go to bed). Don't make a big deal out of a wet bed and perhaps get him to help you clean it up as part of his being a big boy. You could also try the night time nappies (here they are called Dry Nights) as they are a bit more like a big boys undies in design.

Answer 4

Every child is different my son will be 4 in February and hes only just out of nappies during the day. I tried for months then gave up and one day he just decided he wanted to wear pants and has never had an accident. He's still in nappies at night. I think you should give him a bit more time, but keep encouraging him to go in the toilet/potty

Answer 5

had similar problems with my son (he was 4 last week)
he's been dry in the day for about a year, but hated pooing in the toilet. he would just poo in his pants. we went to see some friends and he had a turn on the little girl's roller skates. for the next few weeks he badgered me for skates. i made a deal with him. he has a calender in his bedroom, i told him every night, if his pants were clean and dry, he'd get a smiley face on the calender. if the whole page was smiley faces, then he'd get his skates. after a month, he was so used to going on the toilet, there has not been another accident.

as for night times, mine still sleeps through any accidents. he's just not ready for night training yet. we use pull ups. i keep telling him that when the pull ups are dry in the mornings, then he won't need them any more.
i have also left his potty in his room and told him if there is anything in the potty in the morning, he'll get a sticker but he is just a really heavy sleeper.

i think the best thing to do is very slowly increase the time he has to wait before going to the loo. only a minute or two so he can learn bladder control. not make him wait for ages, as he will have accidents. over time, he'll learn to wait until he wakes up. they make pjama pants for age 12 i think, so i guess both our boys are fairly normal for now.

find something he really wants and use it to bribe him for poos. maybe start mentioning the trip to santa now, so he can mess up and start again before it is time. and make sure you stick to it. if there is only one sad face but he's got the idea, then let him have his treat.

Answer 6

My daughter is almost four and she's been sleeping without nappies since she was three.

The trick is to wake her in the night (around 3-4 hours after bedtime) and put her on the toilet (or potty if you're still using that). Then they don't have much left in their system to "release".

As I always get up in the night to use the toilet, taking her is a minor task.

Good luck!

Answer 7

all children are different and some take longer then others. have you tryed using a water proof sheet to cover the mattress? its fantastic for night training providing you don't mind changing sheets and PJ's. try and make sure your son eats loads of fibre and encourage and praise him when ever he uses the toilet. it might be a good idea to bring in a chart and sticker system in so he can feel hes achieving something every time and when he reaches the top you offer him a prise. this will give him something to look forward to. if you still feel unsettled and still want more advise i would go and see your GP. just be patient and NEVER get angry if he does have accidents. getting angry or shouting and so on can make things worse. i hope this help and good luck!

i put a link below. a friend of mine used a puppy training pads instead as they where cheaper and more of them. lol. again good luck!

Answer 8

I went through the same thing with my daughter. I found that she just was not ready to go for that length of time without the potty. Give it time and it will be fine, at least you have the daytime conquered. Boys sometimes take a litle bit longer than girl with potty training. If you keep encouraging and don't make it a huge deal, then he won't. He'll relax and when he's ready, he'll let you know.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

if his only accidents are at night, then put the diapers back on at night. some kids just sleep too heavy to realize they need to go during the night. i know it seems like you're going backward, but would you rather change a diaper for a few more months or keep cleaning poo first thing in the morning? just give him more time. and don't take the diapers off until he goes at least 2 or 3 nights dry. then take them off until he has an accident, and then leave them on again until he has a good few days. soon, the accidents will be less and less. just be patient

Answer 11

He's not ready. Give him more time. During the night his body hasn't taught him to wake up when he has to go.

Also going on the toilet (especially poo) can be scary for little children. It is a new experience for him. He hasn't been doing this for 20 or 30 years like you have and he is still figuring it all out. I'm sure he wants to please you , but pressuring him will only make him more up tight.