I need a help. I am in the relationship with a man born British but originally from Nigeria. We have an up and down relationship for the past 2 years we r dating. Before him come to my life I was in the relationship for 3 yrs with man fr Italy but he left me without saying good bye. MY problem with my current man is he like to make friends with women. Since my first relationship I have big problem with insecurity and trust. I have told him about my insecurity and trust n I ask him to help me to beat this together by having open relationship but it never happen. I love him n I always told him that I love him. For the last couple of months he always go to Sweden on his own. He told me his mate planning to move there as his wife live there so he going with him for holiday without me. I was fine at the beginning then 4 weeks after that I ask him what we going to do this weekend? But he never answer me. By Friday night I know that he off to Sweden again with reason his mate wife birthday n
2007-09-19 22:57:47 · 26 answers · asked by lady in pain 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
wedding anniversary. I always be the last one to know. Yesterday I found his picture with a women n the folder name is Sweden. There couple of this women picture not explicit whatsoever but I don’t think I can accept it n same goes in his mobiles, he put their picture on his mobile. I saw all this while his away to attend friend wedding. I have this women phone n email. I really want to ask her what is happening between her n my man but I afraid he will get mad n dump me. I had call his x before after I saw him constantly contacting her and from her respond she doesn’t know I am with him. He never tell her he have a gf n they always go to lunch together. After I rang his x. he ask me to get out from his house and we r over. Because I love so damn much I kept coming back to him. I cant be on my own n life without him are so miserable. I don’t know n plz advice if I should call this women I saw her photo on their phone his phone. Am scared am jump to conclusion n lost him at the end cos
2007-09-19 23:00:43 · update #1
he always hide thing from me. What should I do. Plz am begging for help
2007-09-19 23:01:13 · update #2
I'm sorry to say this but Nigerian men either are notorious womanisers, or, wanna be notorious womanisers.
2007-09-19 23:02:27 · answer #1 · answered by A and L D 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are not jumpimg to conclusions! He is stepping out on you, and he gets mad when you have enough steam to do something about it. Yes, you should call her to find out. If his ex did not know about you, then it is very likely that this girl doesn't either. The next time he goes to Sweden, call his mate and see if he is at home or call his mates wife. She would likely know if they have been going there. She would also be likely to let you know about what she knows as well. If that doesn't work, then call his girls he has been taking pictures of. Then talk to him and let him know that you are not going to stand for this and you will not have it. You have to take a little control of your life and relationship. If you let it keep going on, it will hurt you even more, and you will probably get into a stage to where you think you are worthless and do not deserve better than him. That is not the case. You may love him, but apparently he does not feel the same about you or he would not be doing these things and he would not get upset about you calling them if he has nothing to hide. When you find out that he has been cheating on you, and you will, you need to leave him. Do not listen to all of his lies that he will never do it again....bc he will. He will always do this, and you deserve much better than this. Take it from the man who is the same way....even he said that your bf is straying, and he WOULD know without a doubt that this is so.
2007-09-19 23:15:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is not to be trusted and the best advice i can give is to break away from him . This will not be easy at first and will take you sometime to get over but if you continue with him it will hurt more in the future. I am sure that in time you will met a new personwhich you may not want to hear but it is best to be honest. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life feeling this way? It will destroy you in the end. Once trust has gone in a relationship (which it sounds like it has) it is never easy to regain and more often than not never will.. I am sorry you are going through this and i sound a little harsh but you must know you deserve better....
2007-09-19 23:09:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling, this relationship is doing nothing for your happiness or self esteem.
You are wasting both your time and your youth.
There's a man for you out there, and you will find him if only you were ready to give yourself a chance.
No man wants a NEEDY girlfriend.
Unless you start appreciating yourself a bit more, you're not going to be able to keep any man, let alone one who is only happy to use you.
Get out and try and live life on your two feet.
You ACTUALLY can live without a man. You should learn to before being able to be in a stable relationship.
When you are in a relationship, it's not only for your own comfort and security. You're supposed to be able to contribute to, morally, financially and help each other grow.
Good luck, babe and work on yourself and you'll see the difference it'll make in your life. x
2007-09-19 23:10:01 · answer #4 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, learn to be emotionally self reliant where you don't allow anymore time with men who bring 'complications' into your life to cause you stress. Some men pretend to be interested in you but the strain of your relationship with that man from Italy is probably seen on your face and mean people like seeing others suffer. That's how they know they are in control. Control of your feelings is not what you want from a man or a friend, anyone really. You want kindness and consideration for your feelings and the instant you see disregard I suggest you should be the one who disappears without a word and change your phone number. To some people it is a 'fun' game to string someone along and laugh at them with their friends of how much garbage that woman will take. Life and youth are to be enjoyed and when you get to the point where you really have a good time with just yourself you will have acquired the beautiful self esteem necessary to attract a man who appreciates a delightful time with you too. A beautiful world awaits you when you like yourself enough to reject the mean emotionally disorganized people of this world. Many blessings.. be happy.
2007-09-19 23:14:07 · answer #5 · answered by sliverofmoon2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice for what it is worth.... This guy is not the right one for you... You seem to be well down his list of priorities. Regretfully you do not seem to have had the best of luck with your partners, and can understand the insecurity this creates. Do you really need a guy in your life at the moment? How about a couple of years building a career or job, being independent and getting some pride in yourself. With a bit more confidence you stand more chance of meeting a nice guy who will treat you properly.
2007-09-19 23:07:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
that sounds like a load of crap. Listen, love, I'm a man. A bad nasty one too, i know a colleague one i see one. He's walking all over you. There are sooo many good men out there. the problem is, shy, insecure women often way for men to approach them. and men who approach random women are often no good. You need to make it clear to him that's this mickey mouse sh*t is NOT ON! then change the locks if he still plays up.
step 2: build up you confidence. buy clothes, go to the gym (it works love) and then you'll be ready to get into a relationship YOU control.
2007-09-19 23:04:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Has he ended the relationship? Your answer is to move on. You need someone in your life who will not shut you out.
Has he pushed you away to make you pleed to be back in his life? If this is the case, he is trying to manipulate you and control you, so that he can do whatever he likes and you will let him, out of fear of losing him.
If he wants a committed relationship with you, he owes you a wedding ring and a promise to not get close to other women.
Dont let him destroy your dignity.
2007-09-19 23:23:09 · answer #8 · answered by Stargazer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First slap yourself really hard. this is to move you from pathetic to pain. now accept he does not love you and you are not important to him and all he will do if you let him is hurt you and disappoint you. be strong you look like a fool calling another woman to ask such a dumb ? you have the facts he is a dishonest cheater. Now here is where it gets really real. do you deserve a man like him or do you deserve a man that will want to tell you all and make you happy. if you are still with him by 2morrow the you have chosen to be in hell
2007-09-19 23:11:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore him as he dont loves you, he is using you when he is with you but actully he is using others also in Italy and you dont know that what he must be doing when away from you, do you want to get hert, dont wait for the worse and just leave him otherwise he will literly kill you emotionly, physically and mentaly, leave him and hen tell all his girls that you have leave him and cite any reason that all the other girls should also leaves him, he might be homo too
2007-09-19 23:10:46 · answer #10 · answered by Vikram 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but all the signs are you have got a prize user here. He obviously is unable to be faithful to one person ( or even 2 if his ex is still in the picture ). You are only going to get more & more unhappy as he treats you worse. Leave him now & find someone nice.
2007-09-19 23:10:04 · answer #11 · answered by Anne A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋