He was in Community College for 2 years and just transferred to a huge traditional University about 7 hours away. He's living in a dorm on the full meal plan. I asked him to call me at least once a week and he said he would. He doesn't. I've left a couple IM's and voice messages. I don't want to overdo it.
He is an only child.
We used to talk about everything. We had a terrific time visiting campuses and preparing for this transition to campus life. He went on and on and on about all is hopes and dreams and enthusiasm. I never felt so close to him than the month before he moved.
Now he is gone.....Nothing.
I am going through empty-nest syndrome, really bad. I miss him and would love to hear from him.
I know he is busy with all the excitiement, classes and changes that he must be going through. We've talked twice, very briefly. I caught him at bad times, plus he had a head-cold.
How can I get him to call me? How long to wait? How much space does he need?
2007-09-19 22:36:36 · 9 answers · asked by Crispy_Frog 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think you should wait a week or two more until you start worrying, he isnt used to his classes, a big campus, and all the new kids- he is just probably trying to fit in right now...
call him in a week and see how everytyhing is going, if he keeps not talking to you, then tell him you want to see him and either he comes to you or you are going to him some weekend so you can catch up- that might scare him that you are thinking of going up to his college and he will come see you!
2007-09-20 02:59:39 · answer #1 · answered by STOPthatNOISE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MOM - give yourslef a break! You obviously raised your son to be independant!~ Being 7 hours away, maybe for the first time in his life totally on his own, he is making new friends and building new relationsips, together with the fact that a 4 year college can be more demanding. Will he be home for Thanksgiving? I am sure he will be home for Christmas. Send him a calling card if he doesn't already have one. Maybe he misses you too~ ever think of that - but he doesn't want his new friends to know for fear they will make fun of him, after all, they have already been living away from home. Send him a care package, stamps, a new sweater, warm sox if he is living in a cold climate, the same things you would do if he were still living at home. Then, give him Wings, he is your child, and being a son, he will always have your heart and you his!
2007-09-19 23:04:10 · answer #2 · answered by chefddr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop calling him and get on with your life. You need something to fill the time he took up, you had a life before him and you need to get back to it or start a new chapter.
I don't know if it occurs to you but that "closeness" you felt as a parent, must have been strangling him. He must be about 20 and for a couple of years, he's going to explore his own life and push you away. But, and this is important, he will be back when he gets alittle older.
Your goal as a parent was to do just what you did, send him out in the world equipped to support himself(with some help from you right now, I'm sure) so congratulations you handled the first twenty years really well. Your reward is seeing your son on his own and not needing to hold onto your apron strings, kinda like when he walked for the first time.
Its hard, but for your mental health and to help guide him on down the road, you need to get busy with your own life. He'll call you, eventually they all need something. I'm closer to both my girls now that they are 24 and in grad school than I was during their college years. Good luck to you and pat yourself on the back for raising a good kid!
2007-09-20 01:50:21 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because your son isn't calling doesn't make you anything except experiencing society's drama which your son is part of also. Bottom line is nobody "needs" to hurt others to grow forward - that is not mature. "Empty Nest Syndrome" is just another way to say there is something wrong with the parents ...very geared towards mothers and suggestive despite that parents realize their sons and daughters grow up and do want them to achieve and build a life whether they like it or not. We do not, however, have to get over our family members. You do not have to explain yourself to anyone unless you are seeking people to tell you how to think, who you are, and what to feel despite what you really know. Not only that we know it's an adjustment but don't beat yourself up because you'll attract statements from nasty people who enjoy getting their digs in. Tend to your spirit. Hopefully, your son will brave that poison as well.
The proof is this...you hear children-young adults making statements that their parents don't know how old they are and behaving as if they can't trust their parents no matter where they are in their life - as if a phone call or parental structure with children is stalking. That is all drama and intrusion that is programmed into them due to anti-family movement ...chaos and bond breaking generates a dishonest living doesn't it? Then people wonder and complain about what is going on today.
My advice is not to subject yourself to social abuse. Not unless you want hear such things as "well, you must have done something to him" "I think you did something to him or her" "get a life"(as if you don't have one), "he is an adult"-(just roll your eyes at them), etc. People are very immature and anti-family these days therefore jump at the chance to get digs in and present themselves as your god who knows you better than you know yourself.
2007-09-20 00:40:46 · answer #4 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have children that have left home got married and had children of their own . I too feel like I've been left on the shelf but it is their turn to life full lives . He will ring you when he needs you as my children do they all come running as mum can sort it out . Be always there even if its in the background don't be pushy . all the best xx
2007-09-20 02:10:20 · answer #5 · answered by pink purple 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Mr. Winslow... while your character may be interested in young girls, the actor who plays you is quite gay. I'm going to have to turn you down.
2016-05-19 00:59:16 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs alot of space. This is all new for him, and he is enjoying himself. He isn't going to be in college forever. Let him do his thing, and then he will be back.
2007-09-20 00:14:19 · answer #7 · answered by bostonchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is growing up...he is having fun....he is staying busy...don't worry about it...he will call. It doesn't mean the bond you two have is gone.
2007-09-19 23:02:37 · answer #8 · answered by amazincajn_99 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait'll he needs something. He'll be racing to the phone to call you.
2007-09-20 00:44:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋