Ok I am 27 and I live with my parents with my 16 month old daughter. I haven't been able to get a job for a while so I can't pay rent. I don't go out at all I stay home 24/7 But I do keep the house clean and cook the meals and take care of my 9 year old nephew after school. But nothing I do is good enough for my mom. The house isn't ever clean enough, Ok I have a toddler it's kinda hard to keep every toy put away 24/7. And my nephew is always leaving stuff all over the house. But lately I just can't take it anymore. She starts to yell at me and she won't stop. If I argue with her or even keep my mouth shut she just gets even more pissed. I have gotten to the point I want to grab a knife and cut my arm just to see if that would shock her into stopping for just a minute and see what she is doing to me. I would never kill my self or hurt my mom I love her but I am at the end of my rope. I can't afford to go to a therapist so what should I do? I applied for housing but have been ignored.
2007-09-19 19:38:11 · 8 answers · asked by Rachel M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I do put in job apps every day. I did have a job at walgreens as a pharmacy tech, But they kept screwing me over on my hours. They would have me working from 4pm to 11pm and then back to work at 7am the next day.I never had set hours. I told them that is what I needed when I started working for them they didn't listen and I could not get daycare for my daughter because of it. And it is not both my parents, just my mom. My dad tries to stand up for me because of all I do around the house but she ignores him.
2007-09-19 19:57:02 · update #1
I said arm not wrist. I would never do that to my daughter. Hell I wouldn't really cut my arm either. It was just an example of how frustrated I am thats it. And I have tried talking to my mom. Didn't work. So I'm just stuck with it til I can get out. Thanks any way.
2007-09-20 05:29:38 · update #2
Ok I really should have known better then to ask strangers for advise,Since none of you know me or what goes on in my life every day. Lik the person who says I am "mooching" off my parents, First of all they do not buy any thing for me or my daughter every thing she needs I buy with the money I earn selling my plasma no its not alot but it works. So I am just going to pick a name out of a hat and that will be it for the whole best answer.
2007-09-20 09:11:55 · update #3
I'm sorry that you are having a hard time right now. It can't be easy being a single parent. Are you saying you can't get a job because you have to care for your daughter, or you just haven't found a job? Because if your parents are willing to take care of your daughter while you try to get on your feet you need to take advantage of it.
You said that you interact with your mother in two ways: silence and arguing. Neither one of these is going to elicit a positive response so even though you are really stressed out, a better option would be to show
respect, listen and try to have a constructive conversation with your mother. Also, you absolutely need time away from the house or you will go crazy.
2007-09-19 19:56:07 · answer #1 · answered by The Comedian 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mom was the same way with me when I lived in her house. I was her "cinderella" and seriously, she really did call me that along with the long list of chores I had to do for her that would never end. (this was when I was in high school and some college when I came back home for weekends). Honestly, what I had to do was break away from her completely. IT was that bad. My mom had her rules, she would yell and yell and yell at me. I had jobs all the time though, but it still didn't matter. And it doesn't sound like it would matter much for you either. My dad tried to stick up for me as well, but my mom always won.
So please do whatever you can to live on your own. Plus, if you are living on your own, you can get on WIC for your baby, and get help from the government as well. But living with your parents, you won't be able to. Keep looking for jobs, it takes some time. It took me a while before I found one, but once I did, I worked full time and paid for my own apartment and bills to break away from my mom. You should also try to look into college- you could probably get some grants and get help with daycare.
My mom to this day is still controlling with me. Im getting married next year- so the wedding planning isn't going the greatest with her. And, we have a son who will be 2 soon, and my mom is saying because she wants one party (my parents are divorced now), that if we have seperate parties, she will just send his gifts in the mail.... I'm telling you this because it will never end if your mom is the same way.
It's so sad, and frustrating, but the truth. So do your best to break away financially from your Mom. I'm sorry you are going through something similar to me- I wouldn't wish it upon anyone!
2007-09-19 21:04:06 · answer #2 · answered by m930 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out ther and pound on doors to get a job. Your problem is not only your parents, but the fact that you have no enjoyable time in life. You need to have time for you to break away from the everyday routine. A job would help that situation and earn respect in your parent's mind. Go through the phone book, and send a resume to every business that has a position that you would be qulaified for. After about a week or two, phone calls will be coming in to set up appointments for interviews. Make the appointments right away, and dress appropriately for the position. Once you are working, I promise that your self esteem will come back, and your parents will respect you a lot more.
2007-09-19 19:49:08 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kiddo, you need to grow up, stand on your own two feet.
Drama (cutting the wrists) is just stupid, there is a better way to get your mom's attention.
You need to sit down with your mom and talk openly.
She already raised you and now your back with a child and she is frustrated, that's all.
Make some plans to better yourself, even if it means going back to school to get a college degree.
this should make your mom feel better knowing that you are trying to get on your own feet and take care of your family, in YOUR own home.
I am a pretty patient person, but my daughter got pregnant at 16 yrs old, she was my baby. I stood by her and my grand baby.
She finished school and then started dating again, another looser, well she got pregnant again.
I love my daughter and grandchildren, but enough is enough.
I gracefully told her it was time she figure out what she wanted in life and how she was going to take care of her family.
She started going to school to become a nurse and was really good at it.
She is now remarried, has a great husband, a beautiful home of her own and a new baby.
Had she not have gone back to school, and got on her own 2 feet, she probably would have never met her hubby.
Being self assured makes you more confident about yourself..
Good luck..
2007-09-19 19:52:49 · answer #4 · answered by kitty 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry for ur hardship but u really need to do something other than the cleaning and babysitting... she doesn't want a maid, she wants a responsible dau. ur mom loves u but she obviously feels u need to be on ur own...
u r 27 and a mother, go to public assistance/welfare, go to a shelter, then housing will have no other choice but to help u...
"Once you become a mother,
you stop being the picture
and start being the frame."
stop mooching off ur parents and start being productive in your own life and do things that will make ur dau proud of u... as well as ur parents.
2007-09-19 20:08:09 · answer #5 · answered by Ivy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try talking to her.Ask her to sit down and have a cup of tea and just talk...Tell her how she makes you feel and ask her what you can do to be more of a help around the house.I know its hard,but its only for a while...And apply for as many jobs as you can.Once you get a foot in the door it'll be easier to get yyour dream job.
2007-09-19 19:46:22 · answer #6 · answered by jancoetzee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should not kill yourself you must had a maid in order you fine, just love your parents
2007-09-19 19:59:21 · answer #7 · answered by Michael Zachary 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your chance to meet Dr. Phill...
J
2007-09-19 19:43:26 · answer #8 · answered by Jake 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋