I have an older friend in the restaurant business, is it HER or the STAFF at fault??

Question

She works in a rest. "cayote grill", i guess it's been around 4 yrs. now.
anyway, all she ever does is complain about the staff. How they discriminate her at work "with age remarks/age-ism, cut her down, don't invite her to places because of her age, sort of make fun of her personality quirks,ect"
Mostly the staff is all around in their early 20's. She's 42 [I think she said]
Anyway, I kinda find it hard to believe she gets crap constantly as she claims.
Do you think her co-workers are being to hard on her?
or they are just joking around once in awhile and she's greatly over reacting
I guess I am asking for her coz next time when she complains, I can come up w/a more realistic answer from someone who's in the restaurant biz themselves
{she says she constantly tells them off, do u think she should just ignore it}
so don't know what to say to this person anymore, can't relate!
any help would be appreciated, thank you

I have told her already,that she shouldn't "expect" invitations per say, coz socializing is personal preference and NOT work related.
And she DOES complain and whine a LOT!
She said she's "scared to leave because it's REALLY good cash and has her aging Mother to support"
But how in the world would she prove in court w/the age-ism issues. That is a fact it goes on there. She's told me quite a bit.

Answer 1

Without knowing her, and only the information you provide, I'd say she is a whiny complainer. And I believe that even more so because she not only says she has a bad rapport at work, but carries it out into her person life with you, and probably others.
I wouldn't waste my time with HER, I think probably it is her problem. If it is age discrimination, the owner can be sued, give her that option and see if she does anything, or just prefers to whine and complain.

Answer 2

It sucks that no one wants to hang out with your friend but she is a lot older than everyone else - so it makes sense that they may not be as comfortable with her around. However, the age-ism isn't forgivable. They should at least be pleasant to her at work because that is basic good manners. They do not need to socialize with her outside of work if they want to.
I don't know your friend so I don't know if she is exaggerating or not. But she needs to just be professional instead of acting out all the time if something bugs her. She is the adult after all.

Answer 3

i.m 46, and have been in the restaurant business for over 25 years now. most of my co-workers are between 19 and 26, there are a couple, that are 36, and 38. i get along great with everybody at work, however, i am there to make money, not friends, i have plenty of friends outside of work. honestly, my interests at my age are not hanging out in bars with co-workers, getting drunk,high, laid, etc. i do get invited out, when they go drinking after work, but i mostly decline. there is always joking going on in our business, when they call me "mom", i tell them, they are grounded, etc. a lot of my co-workers come to me for advice on dating, marriage, how to buy a house, or problems, their friends don't understand. we all respect each other, but they understand, i'd rather go home to my fiance & kids, than stay up all night partying. your friend may be having a hard time, because no matter how old somebody is, nobody likes being told off, or listen to bitching & moaning all day long. she will be respected more for a good up-beat attitude, and a sense of humor, plus she will make even more money, if she is happy at work, and in harmony with her co-workers. our business is hard enough, without creating drama in the workplace.

Answer 4

I think if your friend is complaining all the time, telling people off, and sees prejudice in a lot of situations, I'm not so sure I'd want to hang out with her either, frankly.

Please don't tell her I said that, though. Younger people and older people sometimes just don't have a lot in common. They might not invite her places because of that.

Answer 5

How about the simplistic...."people tend to hang around with people their own age"

Answer 6

there are always two sides to every story... sometimes more. maybe it's time for your friend to move on to somewhere she feels comfortable.

Answer 7

if it was that bad she would hire new staff