What happened? I have just been getting angrier and angrier by the minute. Yesterday it got so bad that I started getting into my husbands and daughters face and screaming again. Tonight It got even worse; I started throwing things, fist fighting my husband and daughter, even threatening ti kill myself again.
It started out with my husband coming into the living room calling me a slob, lazy, no good for nothing. Saying I need to be taught how to clean. I clean this house everyday; sweep and vacuum the floors, do the dishes, make the bed, pick up after them, make his lunches, and make sure they get up every morning on time (even if I haven't had but 2 hours sleep). For the last week I have been only getting (if I'm lucky) 4 hours sleep every night, then waking up to make his coffee and lunch, wake him up, and wake my daughter up. After they leave I get on the computer for awhile do the cleaning watch the T.V., and wait for them to get home to make dinner.
2007-09-19 18:24:09 · 18 answers · asked by bigmama35 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
today I wanted to catch up on my sleep. When He came home I helped him get the tree limbs from his brothers. After this I decided to take a bath. When I was done with that He took one. He gets out of the bath room then begins to ***** at me. Saying I do nothing and I'm lazy! Well, I got so angry that I started throughing at him what I do do for him. My daughter then gets into the arguement and we begin to fist fight. I need to know what happened? What caused me to lose my control? Where did all that I learn from Therapy and angermanagement go?
2007-09-19 18:30:50 · update #1
therapy & anger management only work when you are taken out of a volatile situation, your husband knows what buttons to push so he does ... he criticizes you because he knows that you will blow up ... he is the cause of your anger ... you need to remove him from the situation and get your life back on track. I'm surprised that through therapy & anger management they haven't seen him as the catalyst ... you really may want to look into womens support groups for emotional & mental abuse ... these are the abuses that leave the bruises on your ego and self esteem that take much longer to heal.
Good luck with it all.
2007-09-19 18:31:43 · answer #1 · answered by emnari 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi bigmama35,
Dont't feel bad my friend. Even taking anger management theraphy has its limit. You're tired, barely slept & simply taking a break & in comes your husband telling you about being a slob, lazy & good for nothing. Honestly, I don't have anger problem, but had I been in your shoe, I might have blew up also. Obviously you're not happy with your marriage also. Why did I said that?? Because there seem to be so much pent-up fury raging within you. I think the outburst actually did you some good because you were able to let off steam. I can almost see in a mental breakdown or depression if you continue repressing your anger. Anger Theraphy is for those people who will blow their tops with minimal reason to or sometimes even no-reason at all. You were provoked by a thoughtless remark by your husband, thus triggering something inside of you. But as much as I'm siding with you on this issue, threatening suicide is a no-no. Continue with your anger management theraphy and share it with your therapist. Listen to what he gets to say.
2007-09-19 19:54:02 · answer #2 · answered by BERNARD C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you backslid doesn't mean that you are back to your old ways. Don't be so hard on yourself. You probably need to revisit therapy, maybe not so intensive as before, but do a follow up and talk to the therapist about what happened. And, you and your husband need to get into some type of therapy to work on his negative comments to you. You don't have to stand for somebody calling you a slob, lazy, whatever, you are a better person than that You need to keep working on it, not only for yourself, but for your daughter, too.
2007-09-19 18:33:01 · answer #3 · answered by lordmisrule2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your husband can use a little counseling himself. I'd suggest individual AND family therapy. I'd also go and explain this to a doctor because you can't be diagnosed by a simple paragraph on a computer.
I would take this extremely seriously because your daughter is going to suffer for this.
Further, fist fighting and suicide threats spell disaster. Get help now. Good luck. Nothing is bad unless you don't take care of it.
2007-09-19 18:33:30 · answer #4 · answered by mosaic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are in an unhealthy relationship. Were or are your parents Alcoholics? You are trying to do everything for everyone which finally has wore you out and now the complaints are icing on the cake. Get away for a few days make a list of the things you do then divide them so that after Dad gets home he has to help around the house and your daughter if they can't help then leave and get to a healthier place.
2007-09-24 20:55:16 · answer #5 · answered by nm1dancer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel that therapy or anger management is making you feel any less angry maybe joining a group might help. It might help reduce your anger level if you relieved stress by doing a hour long kick boxing, walking, boxing, etc. class. I have found that getting out of the environment that is making you feel stressed will have a positive impact on your anger level.
It sounds like your life is totally consumed by other people's needs. I think you should take a hobby that gets you out of the house and focusing on yourself.
If you can't get out of the house for whatever reason another simple way to get out your feeling is writing in a journal. This way you can express your anger and frustration without taking it out on your family. Also encourage your husband to come to one of your therapy sessions it will give him the opportunity to see your point of view.
Good luck
2007-09-19 18:39:29 · answer #6 · answered by jenniferbsu08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
therapy and anger management only goes so far what you both need is couples counseling I would strongly suggest you go through a church counseling course as they work alot on respect and being a good spouse.
Him saying those things to you are disrespectful and hurtful, you yelling and screaming is disrespectful and mean.
Your children are being taught to treat you both with disrespect. This really needs to end for her to grow up balanced and for mommy and daddy not to get divorced. You also need to sleep at night this will really help you work things out together with a clearer head.
2007-09-19 18:33:26 · answer #7 · answered by Blessed Rain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I think your husband and daughter just kind of made you forget all that. When you do all of that and then he calls you that I would have probably done the same thing! It seems to me that your a loyal and hard working wife! you deserve better than that. Just hang in there and please don't commit suicide that wont solve anything. Just put up with all of it and take each day as it comes.
May God Bless You!
I really hope that I helped you!
2007-09-19 18:36:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously the problem is not you but him!!! get rid of his sorry *** and move on with your daughter. That is the only way you will regain your sanity! all that therapy is not going to help since you are not eradicating the problem in the first place. Since it sounds like your husband does not appreciate you and is verbally abusive, the first step would be to free yourself from him. Good luck
2007-09-19 18:32:18 · answer #9 · answered by mero 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your Husband is the one that need therapy or that you need a new Husband. It is not fair that you should try and keep your cool when he insults you like that. I'm wondering, to top it all off, how old you are and if you are heading into perimenopause. That also makes it hard to keep emotions together.
Sounds like you are in a very unhealthy relationship and something major has to give.
2007-09-19 18:34:31 · answer #10 · answered by swiss girl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋