2007-09-19 17:14:55 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
my friend is going out with a 21 yr old, and i only go along wit it cuz she's my friend, but they seem happy and he hasn't tried anything. i just wanna see where other pple stand on this issue
2007-09-19 17:37:31 · update #1
no!
Chronological age is no barrier.
2007-09-19 17:21:09 · answer #1 · answered by Zed 2 · 3⤊ 4⤋
The basic thing to look at is maturity.
A 21 year old man can often still be almost a boy whilst a 16 year old girl can almost be a woman.
A 16 yer old girl is likely to be a different person at 21 years of age and very mature. subject to experience a 26 years old man will have matured in every way but emotionally. I am conscious that the questioner may think that such a relationship is bordering on paedophilia but legally it is not.
I think is is not inappropriate and it may be best to let it run the same course as you would two 16 year olds
2007-09-20 10:25:54 · answer #2 · answered by Scouse 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on the maturity of both parties. When I was 16 I was living with a 27 year old. Some might say it's wrong, but he treated me very well, wasn't a "perv" or anything like that, and was actually a lovely man who cared about me very much. I am still very good friends with him and his family, even though I am married with my own children now. If she is mature enough to take the responsibility of an adult relationship seriously, and he is a nice chap, there's no reason why they shouldn't have a full and happy relationship.
May I suggest you amend your question as to where you are in the world too. There seems to be some confusion over the legality of this as in the UK it is perfectly legal.
2007-09-21 22:02:09 · answer #3 · answered by Xai 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should support your friend in whatever she decides, all you can do is be there to pick up the pieces. Some people find the age difference a problem, but for others age doesnt come into it. I dont think i could have had a relationship with a 21 year old when i was 16 but thats just my opinion.
With regards to intimate relationships, the legal age of consent varies according to where you live. In the UK the age is 16 apart from northern ireland which is 17.
2007-09-20 00:37:13 · answer #4 · answered by FrankieP 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is one of those gray areas.
First, in most states it is perfectly legal (do a search on Statutory Age to be sure).
Second, both are young.
But, the 21 year old has a LOT more experience in life. In simple terms, he was driving when you were in middle school. That is just strange.
Second, he can vote, drink, and drive in all states. You cannot. Those experiences make a person very different. They may be small, but they are further into adulthood than a 16 year old.
You have limited friends due to your life and he has many more. His temptations are much greater. He has seen life more than you and knows that what people think is a small concern compared to other real life concerns.
He also has more freedom to do as he likes. He has no parental restrictions (I am not saying that is good or bad) so he can just let go more easily.
In simple terms, the age difference is PROBABLY too much.
2007-09-19 17:26:56 · answer #5 · answered by AlexAtlanta 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
It has to do with developing social skills.
The 21 year old has had more than enough time to develop social skills whereas the 16 year old has not. He uses those more developed social skills to convince the younger girl he is sophisticated and "cool." What can he possibly see in her other than getting a young girl, probably a virgin?
Can he take her on dates to a nice restaurant and order a bottle of wine and share it with her?
Can he take her to a sports bar, watch a football game and have a few beers with her and his friends?
Can he have a serious discussion about who to vote for in the next election? Does she care since she can not vote?
She needs to date guys her own age. Older guys who are out of high school who can not get an ADULT girl friend are nothing but losers.
2007-09-19 18:18:24 · answer #6 · answered by forgivebutdonotforget911 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, it is innapropriate. I'm in the UK, so it's not illegal, but I believe it should be. At sixteen, I thought I was grown up, but I wasn't, I was a child. I'd only just left school for gods sake! However, at 21 I had a flat, a job and a completely different way of life, a different way of thinking, different needs and wants....because I was an adult, and at sixteen, I was a child.
My ex boyfriend ran off with a seventeen year old, she was a child, he was 24, and that child was thrust into a grown up life, and then when he was much older he started sleeping with even younger little girls. Sick really, but some men find little girls sexy. If this is your daughter you're talking about, I'd tell this bloke where to go. It's wrong, really wrong. He should know better.
2007-09-19 17:45:20 · answer #7 · answered by sab01_1999 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
No. Nothing wrong with it. When I was 20 I had two 16 year old girlfriends at different times. Here in NZ the age of consent is 16. In France it's only 14.
2007-09-19 18:18:05 · answer #8 · answered by zee_prime 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it is illegal. Plain and simple.
Now on the other hand look at it this way would you want a 5 yr old to date a 10 yr old? NO WAY
But what is wrong with a 47 yr old dating a 52 year old? nothing
My sister married a guy 10 yr older then her my dad married a woman 10 yrs younger. Your only talking 5 yrs difference. Girls are more mature then men and preferr to date older guys. Men are just perverts.
2007-09-19 17:26:59 · answer #9 · answered by jewleit 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
when Iwas 17 my best friends and I were ripped apart my boyfriends mum and dad (elderly) were terrorised because he was 26, - how sick was that? -I never found my 'Bunny' no one has ever treated me again with as much care and respect as well as love - and he was waiting for my 18th before he had any thought of marriage or anything else but my 2 friends and I met up again awhile back after over 40years and had a real celebration. If the young man concerned treats his girl with decency and doesn't prey on her or anything then they should be left alone.
2007-09-19 22:53:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not a good idea. A 16-year-old and a 21-year-old are at very different places in their life, and it's easy for the 21-year-old to take advantage of the 16-year-old; she might not even be realizing it. I think the best thing to do is tell her parents about it.
2007-09-19 17:47:51 · answer #11 · answered by drshorty 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋