How do I approach my mom?

Question

I love my mom. And recently we went to on vacation to the Dominican Republic (where she is originally from). While on the trip, she had an accident and broke her ankle the first week were there. The next 3 weeks werent that great for her and she was miserable. When we came back to the U.S, I decided that I wanted to go study medicine over there which is my dream. I told my dad and he supported me 100%. I didn't want to tell my mom because I was supposed to leave to Boston for college and changed my mind. I thought that by not telling her, I would avoid her a headache "for the moment" (since she was still in pain about her ankle). But then she found out about my decision from someone else. I know that she feels hurt and I should've gone to her as soon as I made my decision. She hasn't talk to me for 3 weeks. I just dont have the courage to face her and feel embarassed for the pain I caused her. How can I approach her?

Answer 1

Honey, being a mom I understand she may be disappointed but you know what? I think this may have more to do with her baby being so far away, and with the expense of the travel she won't see you very much. You shouldn't be embarrassed honey, more than anything she loves you too, nor should she be using guilt and emotional black mail to punish you. You are going to be a Doctor! That is so wonderful, look at it this way, eventually you are going to have to tell someone their loved one has passed, so you might as well start gaining courage here, and now. Stay calm, mom's are protective and love their children more than we could ever put into words, be mature and make sure you have a plan and have not just jumped into a choice you haven't really thought out or researched.
Congratulations honey! And Good luck!

Answer 2

I dont think that you changing her mind is what has upset her.I think any mum would be proud t have a child wanting to study medicine.
I would think she was hurt more because you felt that you couldnt go to her and tell her and she had to hear it from someone else.She's probably wondering if theres a problem in your relationship that kept you from telling her.
Since she isnt talking to you...id suggest you write her a letter and leave it where you know she'll find it...like beside her bed so she'll read it when she's going to bed and feeling more relaxed.Let her know how much you love her and how sorry you are that she heard from someone else and explain why you didnt tell her(due to her not being well) tell her you'll always be honest with her and wont keep things from her anymore. Tell her how its hurting you that shes ignoring you and you would give anything to turn back the clock and change the way you handled things so that neither of you would be going through this right now.Make your mum feel appreciated and loved with lunch or flowers etc.after shes read the letter....good luck and congrats on making a great career choice.
PS. Oh it may also be wise to explain your decision for studying medicine somewhere other than usa.She may feel as though youre trying to get away from her

Answer 3

There's only one thing for sure ~ the longer you leave it, the harder it will be. There's not magic formula for getting it right ~ just go to her and say 'Mum, I love you', and let the conversation go from there.

Try to remain calm and do not get emotional or get into recriminations. You feel you've hurt your Mum and saying 'I am sorry' will NOT hurt you!

Stick with your decision calmly, and level headed, don't play the emotional card, and you will come across as mature in your outlook.

Mostly, parents just want to know their kids will be safe and will finish what they start, not rush home half way through a course (and a pile of hard earned money) and say "I've changed my mind, help me!!!!!".

Lay your reasons out logically, hug your Mum heaps, and let her know you will keep in touch, she may not accept your logic but if she is the sort of mother she sounds like (wonderful), she will support YOUR decision.

Good luck and best wishes :-)

Answer 4

Well Just Sit Her Down And Tell Her That You Really Feel You Should Get it Because its Really Bothersome And Tedious To Cover Your Scars Up Everyday And You Just Want To Have Clear Skin. Tell Her That Your Willing To Pay Some Of it And Tell Her Your Plan About When You Want To Get it. :D Make Sure She Knows How Much You Want It. :) Goodluck!

Answer 5

Try to talk quietly and calmly to her. Ask her to sit down with you and hear you out. Tell her that you loved her so much and didn't want to worry her, since her ankle gave her a lot of pain. Tell her that maybe you made the wrong decision, but you did your best by thinking of her first. I hope I've helped you, and best of luck with your career.

Answer 6

What is wrong in you doing medicine there? Why would she be hurt by you going there? Anyway, just sit down with your Mom and Dad and discuss the issue. When she realizes that you really want to do it and has the support of your dad, she will agree and be fine with you.

Answer 7

Grovel! Tell her: you made a mistake in judgment, you know that now; you wish you would have told her yourself; you're sorry and get over it already. She should be proud of your decision to study medicine. Be more adult now and tell you parents what they need to know yourself, before they hear it second-hand. She loves you and just feels a little betrayed, but she'll come around and everything will be fine.

Answer 8

What a stupid problem to have, girl there are some people WHO DON'T EVEN HAVE A MOM. Get over it and talk to her, because, baby when she is gone, you will regret every lost moment with her, believe me I know, my mom has been dead for a long time. Right now your losing your moments with her. As long as you keep the lines of communication open, there is nothing you can't tell her.

Answer 9

Write her a note on the bathroom mirror that says: Date: Tonight Time: 7pm Who: You and me What: Dinner Where: (name place) Why: To tell you I love you No Matter what.
Tape a rose on the mirror and wish for the best.

Answer 10

Start by saying you love her and you are sorry you hurt her. It wasn't your intention. Tell her why you made the decision you did and promise her to never do it again. We are not perfect, your mother knows that. Good luck!