ok, there are these two people in my grade, jeff, and mal. well, jeff likes mal, and asked me to help him go out wiht her. i told him to ask her out, she said no,but he still is obsessively in love with her. he calls her like 7 times a day, and talks to her nonstop. she finds him really really annoying, and asked me to tell him to back off. so i did in a very polite and sensitive way. he took it really badly and wants to know how he can still stay connected wiht mal. he wants me to tell him where he should go from there. bottom line, boy likes girl who doesnt like him,and wants nothing to do wiht him, but he still wants her. what do you do?
2007-09-19 13:22:32 · 17 answers · asked by we_are_waiting 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well hun, problem is, theres nothing you can do about it- thats just how life is and its never going to change. theres always going to be boys that like girls who dont like them back and vise versa.
everyone gets hurt and sometimes theres nothing friends or family can do to help the pain, but in the long run everything is worth it. and to be honest, in many cases, it takes getting hurt to realize the truth in a matter- maybe being friends is the best thing for them... and if it is great, he needs to accept that, and if its meant to be then after a friendship is built a relationship will blossom.
2007-09-19 13:29:52 · answer #1 · answered by johnnys_angel_82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see a problem here except for Jeff.Let us begin with the obvious.You were a good friend to him: told Mal of his interest, she was not interested( not your fault or problem), you told him nicely of her feelings and that is the end of the issue as far as you are concerned.However, Mal has a potentially dangerous situation. Jeff sounds as if he can't take no for an answer and that makes him a potential stalker.Some stalkers can be overly aggressive and become unpredictable and irrational. If he still wants to somehow maintain a connection with Mal in spite of all her rejections, then I suggest that you ask her to ask him to back off and to do it herself.If he does not listen to her, then she has to consider taking legal action against him. Don't listen if he tries to enlist your help again, simply say that Mal does not want to discuss the matter anymore.Good luck---it sounds like you are going to need it.
2007-09-19 20:44:42 · answer #2 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would explain to jeff that I have no control over the situation and it would be best for him to put his interest into something else besides mal. I would let him know that he is a nice person but he should not force himself on anyone.
2007-09-19 20:29:07 · answer #3 · answered by Jenifer F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm...that's tough. has mal given him a chance at all? i mean, do you yourself think jeff's annoying just as a person? i mean, maybe if she gets to know him and he lays off a bit he won't seem so bad and she could try giving him a chance. otherwise, he may just need to move on and try to meet someone else. maybe if he does this and starts acting a little more calm mal will reconsider.
if this doesn't work, i think jeff may need to try other things, like playing a sport or having some kind of hobby to distract himself.
i also think they shouldn't be using you as their third party. you could try to convince them to talk this out themselves. mal could explain to jeff herself that she really doesn't like him and he should really back away. and maybe they could work something out. Good Luck!! i hope my advice works!
2007-09-19 20:34:56 · answer #4 · answered by Bean42 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you advise Mal to speak to her parents about this boy - he sounds like a stalker - like maybe he'll show up at school with a gun and waste yon and Mal. The parents need to get together and resolve this - the school counselor should also be advised.
2007-09-19 20:28:31 · answer #5 · answered by retmil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like u really care bout him
ok....
tell him, she already has a boyfren, mayb with the help of a guy
say 2him her boy doesnt like him keep disturbing her
bt i thnk dat u like him
da way u care bout him
y dont u make a 1st step for him
bt, beware!!
he might use u keep contacting mal
gd luck gal!!
gd luck mal!!!
gd luck jeff!!!
2007-09-19 21:39:55 · answer #6 · answered by HAFIZbrad 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be straight forward with him. Tell him that she doesn't like him. He's going to have to accept the fact that she isn't interested in him.
Now what are your feelings toward him. Maybe you could drop hints you are interested in him ... unless of course you have a bf.
2007-09-19 20:27:01 · answer #7 · answered by David T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first tell him to stop anoyying her because that gets fustrated and tell mal that hes a nice guy and to give him a chance
2007-09-19 20:36:58 · answer #8 · answered by KeepCool 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in that case, it's just gonna take time. when a teenage boy wants something, he is usually really determined 2 get what he wants. ( trust me this boy @ my school is doing the same thing!!!!) Either time or help him to hook up with another girl.
2007-09-19 20:28:05 · answer #9 · answered by un chica bonita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to handle it himself. Maybe hearing her say it will help it to sink in. Sounds like he's very obsessive.
2007-09-19 20:27:00 · answer #10 · answered by ṼξŋØლǿԱ§ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋