I cut myself, and I like it and dont want to stop, but my boyfriend of two years is threatening to tell my mom

Question

What should i do? I love cutting. Ive been cutting sence i was 13, three and a half years. I dont' want to stop. its how i cope. I dont cut deep enough to be dangerous. HE's just paranoid... I dont' want my mom to know, because she will send me away to bording school or something. and I cant live with out him. Not even for a little while. He promises he wont leave me, no matter what, but she will send me away if she finds out. she doesnt' understand me. She thinks im this huge disappointment because Im no pretty and popular. She thinks i should be this picture of the perfect teen girl, skirt and pink blouse and blond hair. She thinks im trouble just because i listen to loud musid and wear black clothes. SHe has given up on me. this would just be a good excuse to get rid of me by shoving me in a girls home somewhere

Answer 1

I'm a cutter to and to stop is out of the question, it relieves the emotions and feelings that I just can't and don't know how to talk about it. It's kind of like internalizing it which I also do but the cutting allows the pain to flow almost like I deserve it. I'm 31 yrs old and my left arm is pretty bad from two days ago and my husband whom I've known for 13 yrs is ready to walk and I can't blame him.. in fact I would support him doing that to at least protect himself. This cutting is very serious and you need to be honest with your family and get some help for it while you can. Assuming your mom will send you away is not realistic and you have to take this seriously, don't use me as an example my life is a wreck but that's me...Good Luck and Get Some Help...Please. xo

Answer 2

Seems to me like there are unresolved issue between you and your mom that you should eventually talk out. I used to cut when i was 14 and I remember how good it felt, like I was alive. But i soon realized that I was doing it because there was alot of things bothering me that i didn't want to deal with. I eventually found something else to replace the cutting, but the problems never went away until I faced them.

As for your problem, if you feel you can trust your boyfriend, I'm sure he won't tell. And if your mom ever finds out and freaks, explain stuff to her that bother you instead of both of you freaking out and screaming at each other. Lots of people dress all in black and are not popular and end up doing great things in life while the popular people end up pregnant at 16 with no life. Sometimes, all it takes is a little explaing. Of course, some people just won't listen.With that said, I'm sure your mom will NOt send you away :)

Answer 3

kiddo, cutting is a serious problem. you do need help. a girl's home is not the answer though. my sister used to cut, just to relieve the pain she was feeling. she is bi-polar. can you talk to someone you trust? anyone, this is not good by any means. i also love loud music, but i do not hurt my self to cope. you must figure out exactly what is bothering you. if you can't do it alone, find a counselor that you can talk to. if i were your bf, i would tell your mom. what do you mean by she doesn't understand you? and your only 16, you can live without him even it's for a little while. if he loves you, he will want you to get help. i don't believe your mom has given up, i do believe however, that you need to have a heart to heart with her. if that doesn't help any, then e-mail me. i will be here to help you get through whatever it is your going through.

Answer 4

GET HELP. You're cutting yourself with your assumptions about what your mom might do. The least of the problems brought about by addiction is the fact that if you live through it, you'll have to spend the rest of your life managing it. The sooner you get out of the addictive behaviors, the less energy you will need to put into managing your addiction later. Your boyfriend sounds like a great guy. Tell your mother yourself. Choose to strengthen the healthy part of yourself instead of the part of you that thinks so little of you that it cuts you. Go. Don't take my words lightly.

Answer 5

I understand how you release your depression. But cutting is not a good choice. There is another way to get over your depression. Release the depression by telling someone. Talk to someone--a doctor, teacher, friends, your parents if you can. You will be surprised how relieved you will feel after you talk about it. If you chose a doctor or a counselor, they can get you the help you need to heal the underlying cause. Speak out loud about what is causing you so much pain. Talk about it - even to yourself, in the privacy of your bedroom. Yell or scream - anything to release the tension inside of you - but do not cut. If you have no one to talk to, get a tape recorder and talk into it. The pain will be released, and you might not need to cut to feel relief. You can also release your feelings by writing poetry or raps, painting, or other art forms.

Answer 6

I did the same thing when I was in college, self-mutilation, a physical manifestation of self-loathing. I just didn't care. You have a b/f, so you have support, but he is not enough and something is still missing in your life and this is how you cope with the loss. Apparently your mother is contributing to your negative self-image and you definitely need to communicate to her how you feel and how her attitude contributes to your negative feelings. You do not have to mention the cutting, but you do need to let her know the effect she is having on your life. I cut myself at school and went to classes with blood running down my face. I also did things to my knees, and all this was for attention and out of a terrible self-image. I still have issues today, decades later, but I no longer cut or self-mutilate and channel my feelings in a productive way.
There is nothing wrong with loud music and black clothes if that's what appeals to you...go for it. Everyone has their own unique style, and no one has to conform to a cookie cutter image other people seem to prefer.

Answer 7

You should think of it this way... Your boyfriend seems to really care about you. Would you consider not even doing it for him? Would you rather lose him over you cutting yourself? It seems as if you have alot of emotional problems going on, maybe in your home. I would think he's the only one who you seem can be comforted by. I'm talking from experiance, I use to literally burn myself from the agony and pain of relationships. I realize now that its something not to hurt yourself over. You will regret it in the long wrong from all the scars.

Answer 8

just try your best to stop. think of your love and your life. if you cut too deep and die, everyone would miss you and your bf would be miserable. try your hardest and dont ever give up! im not pretty or popular i just talk to God and i always feel better!

Answer 9

Listen to Dr Obvious. Thats the right answer.

Answer 10

you and your boyfriend should watch a movie called "Secretary" with James Spader. It deals with this topic and might help.