I could really use a lot more help from the girl. 9 out of 10 times I'm taking out the trash, scrubbing the toilet, or doing the dishes. That is tolerable. What's getting on my nerves is being left out in the rain so to speak. I need her help to be a reliable roommate for her. She doesn't appreciate that I hate riding my bike home from work in a rainstorm at night, and insists that she's too busy to pick me up. I just hate the fact that she's comfortable with that situation. It tells me that she really resents something about me. What can I do for her to make her feel more inclined to be more helpful in my life?
2007-09-19 11:02:57 · 18 answers · asked by tigergeek16 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
The funny thing about laying off the chores for a while around here... is that they usually don't get taken care of. I see things as community first.. all of the shared responsibilites come first, like the bathroom and kitchen. Then it's making sure things are picked up off the counters and floor in the the shared areas. I'm laughing and crying at the same time!
2007-09-19 11:20:40 · update #1
To those of you who said quit doing the work, I just have to disagree with that. A person isn't going to survive by not taking care of the bare minimum standards. I'm obligated to care about making things work, because she really is a decent person. I just hate being brushed aside. Truly, who doesn't hate it? I want her to understand that this isn't about learning a lesson for me, it's about being practical. She needs to pull her head out of the clouds up in that ivory tower, and wake up to reality.
2007-09-19 11:43:24 · update #2
sounds like she's using you to do all the work,and if you have to ride your bike home in the pouring rain,i would really confront her and ask her why.and if she couldn't give you a straight answer,then i would be looking for another place to stay.but you could also ask her to be honest with you,that you have feelings also.
2007-09-19 11:09:14 · answer #1 · answered by rebelady 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well she really has not obligation to give you a ride home..although that would be fair and nice of her, since you two are friends and a favor for a favor right...but if she is acting shady and not helping you out like a friend should...let her do some work for a change, so you don't feel like you owe her anything when you don't clean the toilet or take out her trash or do her dishes, etc. You worry about your business and let her worry about her own..that way she can learn more about being a good friend and about responsibility. I know it might not seem fair, but for some reason in life, it always ends up that way. maybe she has some envy towards you about something but if you really are concerned, ask her....we don't know on here, but if you trust her enough to live with her, i'm sure you can ask what's up with her if you feel she is acting differently thant how she normally does...hope you can save your friendship and that all works out well!
2007-09-19 11:13:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as the housework is concerned - I would simply sit down with her and say "listen - here's what I feel has been going on. Here's what needs to be done to keep an abode clean, hygenic and liveable - here's what I need you to do to pull your weight around here". You're not HER mother - you do not need to clean for her or put up with doing all the cleaning by yourself.
As far as the ride home in the rain - she's not YOUR mother. It's not her issue to give you a ride home.
You are both adults. Sit down with her and discuss it. If she doesn't like what she hears, give her whatever notice she needs to find somewhere else to live. But don't say that in the first conversation. Leave that ultimatum until it becomes apparent that she is simply not interested in helping keep her home clean.
2007-09-19 11:53:26 · answer #3 · answered by allusian_fields 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A) she's your roommate...not your friend. unless a friend establishes out of the roommate relationship she doesn't have to come pick you up or be a part of your life.
B) she should help clean b/c she is your roommate and also makes the mess. you should not have to clean up after her. who holds the lease? if you hold the lease you can give her an ultimatum...tell her to start helping you clean the house (write up a cleaning schedule...one week you do it the next week she does it...and if the week you clean she's extra messy kick her out and find a new roommate..u r not married to the person they ARE your ROOMMATE) if she refuses tell her "don't let the door hit yah in the @ss on the way out Peace Out Beotch"
2007-09-19 11:12:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear,
It is very obvious that she does not want to get into the habit of being your personal chaffuer. It's called say no now , and they will not ask anymore. I do it. It's okay to do it sometimes but all of the time no. Get your own car. Use the bike only for tolerable weather conditions only. Use the bus or cab. And since you are doing all of that cleaning yourself, only do your share of the work. Not hers. Help others who help you. and who help themselves. because she is not helping you at all. Move out if continues. Let her live in her own filth and self centeredness
2007-09-19 11:14:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit doing her share of the chores. You are enabling her behavior by doing so. With all the time you save from not doing all of her chores, you can instead work a second job and pay for a car. Problem solved.
2007-09-19 11:08:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
she sounds like a selfish bi+ch and maybe she just doesn't like you - harsh as it sounds.
it appears that she has zero regard for or about you - that would indicate to me that there isn't anything YOU can do to change her behaviour.
if you can stand it, leave the trash, and other chores see how long it takes for it to get on her nerves and maybe she'll take some initiative.
good luck to you
2007-09-19 11:11:07 · answer #7 · answered by Lady D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit doing her chores its her job to clean up after herself. Tell her you simply are TOO BUSY to do all of the cleaning. I would also suggest you find anew roommate as this one is a taker.......
2007-09-19 11:13:35 · answer #8 · answered by professorc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, stop doing everything around the house until she learns she should pick you up...
2007-09-19 11:11:31 · answer #9 · answered by Terry C. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walk up 2 her and say I love you! Would you marry me!!! Ask her out! Thats !
2007-09-19 11:09:18 · answer #10 · answered by puppy7angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋