Hey, if you were interested in dating someone, would you:
A. start dating them first and see how well your relationship will work before asking what religion they were?
Or
B. would you meet them, get to know a little about them, and find out their religion before dating?
If your answer is B., how would you go about finding this out without being rude?
2007-09-19 11:00:08 · 7 answers · asked by The Assassin with a Resume 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
It would not be that difficult. During general conversation, ask what she is interested in and what she likes to do in her spare time. If she is devoutly religious, that part of her life is uber-important and it will come to light in casual conversation. However, if the subject doesn't arise without a direct question from you as to her religious orientation (or the lack thereof), when your date asks you about your interests and/or activities, take that opportunity to express your beliefs. She will certainly, at that point, take the open-door and tell you her beliefs, whether religious or not. It just seems to me to be the only logical, mature way to handle the situation. You know some people won't date outside their religion, so be prepared, if she doesn't have your same beliefs, for her to not want another date. Some religions view dating outside their religion as sinful and wrong, and others don't. Guess it's kind of a "crap-shoot", if you will. Hope it turns out with positive results!
2007-09-19 11:24:56 · answer #1 · answered by Laura H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most definitely A. I lucked out using that approach; I (Roman Catholic) am engaged to be married to a wonderful guy who respects and supports my spirituality. He is agnostic. If I'd been elitist or exclusionary as regards religion, I would've completely missed the love of my life. And yes, I *can* say he's the love of my life because he has been already for over twelve years and my best friend for nearly twenty.
As regards the "B" approach, there is no way to find out without being rude. The only possible avenue you have which leaves you a glimmer of respectability is to ask your person of interest where they attend church (if they attend church) and be familiar enough with local churches to know which denomination practices where. However, if you refuse to associate with people based on their religion, then I wouldn't worry about being rude. You're already way past that. (I mean you in the general sense here, not you, the asker, in particular.)
2007-09-19 11:15:57 · answer #2 · answered by nardhelain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How could he know that he cares enough about you to get married if he hasn't even dated you? Changing yourself to please someone else is usually a bad idea. If you do not believe in God and have not had a desire to become a Christian until you thought it might improve your chances with this guy, I think it will not work. You will tire of putting on a charade.
2016-05-18 22:09:05 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all of the girls i dated that are christian were obviously christian before we started dating. In fact, every conversation we had turned to Jesus at some point. They didn't work out very long.
funny thing though, I got annoyed with one of them and tried to always steer the conversation to Star Wars. ahhh, the good old days.
2007-09-19 11:09:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go with B. Well first you get to know them a little like friends and gain confidence. then bring up the subject and say politely that you are a "...", and see how they respond. if they respect it.. then is all good!
2007-09-19 11:04:43 · answer #5 · answered by NoName 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
B. Let it come up naturally in conversation, at least that's how I did it.
2007-09-19 11:04:10 · answer #6 · answered by Rossonero NorCal SFECU 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
b, while i was telling a little about myself, i would include my faith and religion and ask them what they were themselves.
2007-09-19 11:04:59 · answer #7 · answered by Chewy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋