Know any good jokes. I need to laugh. Just tell me a joke dont matter what it is. Remember I'll be judging so if it's good I'll choose you as best answers.
2007-09-19 10:56:57 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Flower Curse
Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.
She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again, for no reason."
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, What's the big deal, don't you like getting flowers?"
The red head says, "Oh sure, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."
The blonde says "Don't you have a vase?"
2007-09-27 06:29:33 · answer #1 · answered by soupkitty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a few:
If you were gas in my @ss, I would never fart for fear of losing you cuz your the sh*t!
I heard the last time you got a piece of @ss was when your finger went through the toilet paper!
I'm a mexican so here goes: Why do mexicans spank their kids but not white people? Becuz smashed beans are always better than broken crackers! (i hope i didn't offend it's just a joke)
How can you tell a woman used a vibrator while she was pregnant? The kid studders!
My favorite:
When your upset and lonely...cheer up and go to the mirror and say "WOW, I'm EFFING SEXY!"......BUT.....don't make it a habit cuz liars go to hell! lol
I hope that made you laugh!
2007-09-19 18:53:30 · answer #2 · answered by ~*Zana*~ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Little mary was in Sunday school sleeping as the teacher talked on. The teacher saw Mary sleeping so she suddenly asked Mary a question, "Mary, who created the heavens and the earth?" A sharp little boy, named Jimmy, behind mary poked a pin in her rear. She jumped up and screamed, "God Almighty!" Mary sat back down and fell asleep but the teacher was impressed. She asked Mary a few minuites after, "Who is the son of our God?" Once again Jimmy stuck the pin in Mary's rear and mary shouted, "Jesus Christ!" A few minuites after the teacher asked Mary, "What did Eve say to Adam after her 42 child?" Once again Jimmy stuck the pin into her. Mary jumped up and screamed, "If you stick that thing into me one more time I'll snap it in half!"
2007-09-27 11:47:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there was a woman who was married to a man that no longer desired having sex with her. wanting him to change she sought out a witch doctor who gave her a magic potion.
The witch doctor had advised her to put 1 drop in his drink and he will become arroused making love to you.
That night she sent the kids off and made a nice dinner placing 1 drop in his drink. They made love.
Over the corse of time the woman got greedy, and the witch doctor fearing this decided to make a visit to her home.
knock knock! he looks in the window spys a little boy limping to the door.
He opens the door and say hey son is your mommie home.
the boy says: Mommies dead , My sisters pregnant, my butt hurts and Daddy running around saying HEAR KITTY KITTY KITTY!
2007-09-27 16:51:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
two guys walk into a bar. the third ducks.
2007-09-27 03:49:32 · answer #5 · answered by Mars 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey did you hear the one about the blind skunk who fell in love with the fart
2007-09-19 18:52:02 · answer #6 · answered by jim 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋