I'm a very shy guy. I have an incredibly difficult time talking to women. I am also lonely because of it. Does anyone have any useful advice?
2007-09-19 10:54:41 · 12 answers · asked by Paul Brown 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're not ready to ask a girl out yet. You've got to be able to approach them and just converse with them comfortably first. This is what you should start working on first, feeling comfortable in your own shoes and making small talk. You can do it, but think of it as learning to play the piano or guitar, you have to practice it. No pain, no gain. Also my friend, you've got to start liking you for you and quit worrying about why you're not like this or that guy.
2007-09-19 11:05:36 · answer #1 · answered by soulguy85 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This might sound cliche-ish, but have you thought about practicing in front of the mirror? Think about a situation...you meet in the hall...say something easy...like "hi"...maybe "hey there" and a little smile, and then the next day or two, maybe work up to a casual "how's it going?" and don't forget to smile. If you have a class together, you can say something about the teacher, the hour you have the class, even about what room # it is...anything that can be considered casual small-talk is ok to start with...and try to go from there.
At least *try* it...what've you got to lose? She can't make you jump off the edge of the earth!
2007-09-19 18:01:55 · answer #2 · answered by bitadkins 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, dude, you might give off funky/scary vibes if you can't extend yourself even a little bit to connect with a woman. Part of dating is opening yourself up to people. You *are* going to figure out how to "just gotta do it" or whatever people are telling you. That said, you might want to see if your person of interest is remotely interested in return. And you know what..."I'm really shy" is a great pickup line. I think if you are really shy, that will be apparent. A kind soul will help continue the conversation. Someone who is not interested in a shy man will not. Lastly -- compliments are ridiculously easy. Even if you said, "I like shoes" a woman is going to love it. We LOVE compliments, esp if they are sincere.
2007-09-19 18:00:58 · answer #3 · answered by Talice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat you are, perhaps even worse. You have to realize rejection comes with the territory. You should not fear rejection. The lack of confidence and a poor track history don't help. If you were successful at least once, you would be able to continue at ease.
2007-09-19 18:12:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd try something written too. But maybe not a letter b/c that's kind of formal. I'd go w/ a customized greeting card and maybe a teddy bear or flowers. Have them delivered to her or drop them off at her place... something. If she likes you, you'll hear back and if you hear nothing, then she doesn't. Personally, I find it agonizing to have to wait on something like that and would rather just be shot down in person, but if you are that shy, it's your best bet. Good luck!
2007-09-19 18:03:05 · answer #5 · answered by asig33882003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would probably write her a note or a letter if i was that incredibly shy. I mean your going to have to communicate it somehow. She might not ask and unless you have telepathic powers your going to have to make a move.
Either way anyway you do it there is a chance of rejection.
2007-09-19 17:59:23 · answer #6 · answered by orod510 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one of my friends told me a long time ago -back in middle school- (my friend is a girl mind you) that most girls are just as shy as guys, that's why they are always looking for guys with confidence in themselves, enough to make them feel comfortable when they are around you so they can open up... so you just have to go up to the girl and ask her what her name is, ask her some more general questions if you two click then just ask her if she wants to hang out with you sometime. its ok if you studder a little bit and get nervous, some girls think that's cute... I dunno why but yeah.
bottom line »»» just be yourself and be interested in what she has to say and she'll be interested in getting to know you.
2007-09-19 18:03:59 · answer #7 · answered by Werewolfbynight™ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey man i feel your pain i was like that too, but after the first time u ask someone out it becomes a peice of cake. dont fear rejection, you should welcome it. i know that sounds weird and all but its true. just look at it like this, if you get rejected then its just a chance to start over and find someone better.
2007-09-19 18:04:09 · answer #8 · answered by Plague92 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont just go up and ask her. Give her a chance to get to know you by talking to her and getting to know her. That way you'll have a better chance of her saying yes!
2007-09-19 18:00:10 · answer #9 · answered by love2dance129 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u have a "chick" friend u can talk to practie on her or your mom wel thatd be awkward dont do i to guys it wont work and go up to her and say hey(insert name here) do u want to go out sometime? and thats it
2007-09-19 18:00:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋