I don't mean disrespect to people when I meet them, and I don't like to judge. However I find that I do not know what to do when someone has a facial abnormality.
I look people in the eye when I talk to them- but I don't want them to think I am STARING at them, or anything they might be self-conscious about. Not saying everyone is self-conscious, but they may be.
So do I look at someone who is cross-eyed in the eye? Will it make them self-conscious? I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable.
SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY PLEASE
2007-09-19 10:36:42 · 12 answers · asked by Sambal Oelek 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Ouch- I don't ignore ANYONE. Actually I knew an albino girl and we were great friends. I think ignoring people is rude.
2007-09-19 10:43:17 · update #1
I would treat them as though nothing were different. Anyone with an abnormality is probably use to stares and won't get offended but I would assume that it would be reassuring if you fought whatever urge you had to stare or glance away and treat the person as normal, no matter how hard it might be.
A friend with a disability (in a wheelchair) makes a ton of jokes about not being about to walk ... I wouldn't dare to tell a joke in a situation like that but almost everyone wanted to be treated like a normal person, regardless of an abnormality or disability. These people are not "special" ... they are just like us. It's hard to take that approach but I do my best to treat everyone as normal as possible regardless of how they look.
2007-09-19 15:12:43 · answer #1 · answered by DeadSurvivor 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's best to try and ignore the abnormality .It becomes much easier once you realize the person you're conversing with is a normal person so you can focus on the conversation instead of the abnormality. I'm sure that person knows that they have an abnormality.....so if you treat it like its no big deal you and the other person may be more comfortable.You can even go as far as to inquire about the abnormality so you won't walk around being ignorant and uneasy...once you ask questions it will be so much easier for you and the other person to deal.Good Luck
2007-09-19 17:50:17 · answer #2 · answered by itscarolj 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Look them in the eye.
Its normal for human beings to flit their eyes back and forth during conversation anyway..so looking away occasionally also isn't a problem.
Maybe if you stopped worrying about it so much, it wouldn't much of an issue, because you'd be thinking about the conversation that's taking place, rather than thinking about whether or not you're making them uncomfortable. They're probably more uncomfortable if they feel you're not really listening to them.
2007-09-19 18:57:53 · answer #3 · answered by allusian_fields 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Choose an eye to look into. I've noticed that it's really difficult to look at someone in both eyes at the same time anyway unless you're a good distance away.
2007-09-19 17:51:05 · answer #4 · answered by J-Dawn 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i agree with pepsiolic, I have also felt uncomfortable on occasion when in that situation, but i treated them as i would any person - by looking them in the eye. i have had (sometimes) to choose 1 eye and look at it only, but hey, we are human and we are also trying to make the best of the situation. I think they appreciate being treated as you would anyone else.
2007-09-19 17:50:49 · answer #5 · answered by just me #1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this situation happen to me two weeks ago and to be honest with you while talking with the person (while looking them in the eye), I finally said at a brief pause of conversation...., "I'm so sorry if I have lost eye contact with you and don't mean to be rude, I didn't want you to be insulted seeing that you have a bit of a handicap and am not sure how you would prefer others react to you".
In other words I was honest and tactful and the other person admitted that they were more worried about insulting me so...by being honest and not derogatory we had a big laugh over it together and it wasn't as awkward as before.
Moral of the story, they are worried about insulting you just as you are about insulting them...
2007-09-19 17:45:57 · answer #6 · answered by belen2499 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Look at their face, rather than concentrating on the eyes. I knew a fellow who had the sort of problem where one eye went outward, and it was a bit distracting at first, but I soon forgot all about it. Concentrate on the person, the expression, and movements and gestures, and you will forget about that one small thing too.
2007-09-19 17:50:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try looking at the little space between there eyes near there T-zone that might seem a little mean, but it gives the impression that you really are looking in there eyes until you can get used to them.
2007-09-19 17:47:07 · answer #8 · answered by Jessicca Francis 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I think it would make them more self conscious if you didn't look them in the eye.
2007-09-19 17:41:11 · answer #9 · answered by pepsiolic 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
just look between their eyes concentrate on that spot and listen
2007-09-19 17:48:02 · answer #10 · answered by Kubaker1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋