this ceremony would be simplistic and pledge our selves to each other, instead of adding all the legalality of it into our lives, we have an enormous understanding of what we each want and we feel as though we are spititual partners, but we just dont want the legality of the marriage. Can we do an old west attitude in a union with out it being legal what are your thoughts?
2007-09-19 08:59:22 · 20 answers · asked by laura w 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Maybe I should add we are not doing it for gifts and we are both older we are not kids we both have had failed marriages and we are not doing this out of pretend, its more spiritual to us and more for our families than community, we do live together already, we are in the longterm, I already have children and financially i am secure as well as himself, its not about marriage instead about love...
2007-09-19 09:20:10 · update #1
Before I answer these questions I usually like to go and review previous questions that have been asked. It's interesting that just 2 weeks ago, your boyfriend was hitting you and you had broken up with him, and now you want to have a "wedding like" ceremony? You have kids that are older, and have been divorced, so I can see why you would want that. But it just seems like this it not a good decision. Your doing it just to play pretend. I think you need to worry about your children and on your relationship before you start thinking about planning something like this.
2007-09-19 09:25:17 · answer #1 · answered by Kasandra 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
That makes no sense at all. Why spend all that money if you're not even going to be legally married? If you both feel that strongly about each other and you want to have the ceremony, just do it.
EDIT: I agree with the above answerer and was actually thinking the exact same thing. You sound like a teenager who knows her parents won't give consent. Grow up.
EDIT2: I saw your additional details, and I'm sorry but it didn't help your case at all. I still see no point in a having a PRETEND (because that's what it is) wedding ceremony. If you have no intentions of making it legal, don't do it.
2007-09-19 09:13:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Commitement ceremony. Like when gays or lesbians get married in a state it is not legal. Its just for yourself and not something that has to be legal. Just dont expect for people to really understand it a whole lot. Some people may think its a waste of time to go unless you are getting married, but make sure on the iinvitations that you put its a commitment ceremony and not'come to out wedding'
2007-09-19 09:47:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You asked for our thoughts so don't get upset if everyone doesn't agree with you. You want to "pledge " yourselves to one another. Isn't that CUTE! Like "going steady". How old are you? 14? If you are truly committed to each other you wold want to have a legal marriage to protect each other legally in all aspects - insurance, pensions,medical, care of future possible children. Even in the old west, they got the preacher over to make it a legal union. If you truly have a commitment, you shouldn't be afraid to spend $20 and get a marriage license and then get married. If it is the church ceremony you don't want, have a friend get ordained on-line and do the ceremony for you. Then register the signed marriage certificate. You say you are "spiritual partners" so why wouldn't you want to have a spiritual, loving LEGAL ceremony. Honestly, you do sound very immature.
2007-09-19 09:12:51 · answer #4 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Yea, you can do the whole ceremony and all that jazz. As long as you don't get a marriage license and file for a marriage certificate, then you won't be legally married. You can have a wedding with a priest (or other holy man) and be spriritually married, but the court won't recognize it, which you don't care about anyway. Go for it if that's what you want.
2007-09-19 09:05:51 · answer #5 · answered by LSU_Tiger23 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you two want to commit to each other thats just wonderful. I don't think it's appropriate to have a ceremony and invite people however, unless you're actually going to get married. Gay couples do this all the time however they do it b/c they can't get married, not b/c they don't want to deal with legality. They would love to be legal. I think holding a ceremony in this manner would almost mock them, I'm not sure. I don't think it's a good idea.
2007-09-19 09:23:10 · answer #6 · answered by ilovemyflowers 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
'Commitment Ceremonies' are for people who cannot legally be married, but wish to make a public declaration of their commitment to one another. I think it's horrible to co-opt that into something else, and something less. You CAN choose to be legally married. If you choose not to, then don't do anything. If you choose to make a public commitment, then get married, but don't make a mockery of commitment ceremonies and of weddings at the same time. I'm offended on both fronts. Grow up and grow a little sensitivity and sensibility. I really now have heard it all.
2007-09-19 09:18:25 · answer #7 · answered by Trivial One 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I understand where you are coming from BUT if you want to get married to him then why not do it for real ?? Why not become his real wife legally ?? I mean you can still have a clergy or someone you know say the vows w/o signing any legal papers .
2007-09-19 10:12:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are probably looking for a commitment ceremony.
If you want to do an old west theme, why not.... just make sure the shotgun is not loaded ;}
Commitment ceremonies are becoming more popular and "socailly acceptable". Do what your hearts and heads tell you.
2007-09-19 09:47:22 · answer #9 · answered by Asked and Answered 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
People do it all the time. Commitment ceremonies and handfastings are ways of expressing your love and devotion without all the legal aspects of it.
2007-09-19 11:10:49 · answer #10 · answered by surrenderme2u 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋