how to i come to tearms with his death?

Question

just a month ago i lost my cousin in a car accident he was only 43 with 2 kids i carnt cry i feel numb 3 other drivers were involved but all suvived part from my cousin funeral was 2 weeks ago all just dosent seem real how do i move on from this tragidy

Answer 1

The exact same thing happened to me last October, but my cousin was 18 as opposed to 43. Everybody else survived uninjured. My family and friends couldn't understand why I wasn't as upset as they were, but like you I felt numb, and couldn't quite believe it. After a couple of months, the sadness finally set in and I was devastated. Unfortunately, everybody else seemed to have moved on by this point. But it did get better after a while and I know it sounds cheesy but I only remembered the good times. Basic message: You're not done yet, and everybody deals with things at their own pace. If you haven't been through the devastation part, then it's still to come I'm afraid. I was stunned when I finally "felt" the grief that had been nagging away at me over the last two months - I thought I'd escaped. But you will get over this. It'll be hard at first, when you "forget" and then have to remember all over again. But you will adjust - everybody does. Good luck and God bless you!

Answer 2

I'm so sorry for your loss. What your feeling is normal. Its called grief, I know cause I lost my daughter 6 yrs ago to cancer and I still feel lost some days. Things will settle down in a while but it takes time. Time doesn't heal all things but it does ease the pain abit. There is a site called Daily Strenght that has some wonderful people you can talk to and share your thoughts and feelings with who have all been there and can help you get thru this tragidy. Believe me you'll cry when your ready to, sometimes it takes some of us a while to except what has happened, our minds don't want to believe but eventually realtiy sets in and the grieving process starts. Once again i'm sorry for your loss. Take care and check out that site if you want.

Answer 3

These emotions are painful and distressing, and often made worse when death has occurred in a way that makes you feel "this should never have happened" It's been a month. It's still very new and fresh in your mind and it's going to take a while to come to terms with the loss of your cousin. I can only tell you that with time, you will pass through the process from shock, disbelief despair, anger and finally acceptance. A loved one may be lost from your life, but will always be with you in your memory and your heart, and in this experience, my friend, you belong to the biggest club in the world.

Answer 4

I've lost 2 family member this year - close ones and I know how you feel. It's devastating. You think "why" - they were such good people, so young, it doesn't seem fair right? I know - I'm battling these thoughts myself but one thing I will tell you...and u must believe me......is that there is more to life than meets the eye. I am not religious.....but I would say that I am partly psychic...I get premonitions and I have good intuition. I'm just a normal girl......I dont do witchcraft or anything like that......but I've had various signs over my life which are symbols. I bet if u start opening ur senses more u will see clues too. Everyone is psychic in some form or another. Whenever I feel sad I have my faith in this to rely on and keep me going because it's not just me in denial or a comfort - too many strange things have happened - there is something after for sure. I guarantee this. I'm even thinking about 'trying' to make contact but that's a huge step for me. I dont know much about it but I have been reading.

You will see your cousin again.

I hope u feel better and I hope u believe me (I'm not just saying this to try to make u feel better) - it is true.

x

Answer 5

You're absoluely right about how you feel, it seems so wierd for a person to be alive one second and then dead the next, its like this really isnt happening. I lost my mother this year and I saw her a few hours before she passed away, when I looked at her body and there was no life in it I couldnt believe it, and I think that is really part of coping. First you have to go through the denial stage. After that depending on what you believe you just seem to move on. Its so hard at first its like going through an operation. After then anaesthetic wears off you feel lousy, everything hurts and feel like you'll never get over it, but every day the wound heals a little and the pain becomes less raw. When you're really over it you'll be able to think about your cousin and not hurt, just allow yourself to feel, only you can control that - this is the hardest part of life, but we have no control over it so we just get on living. Good luck.

Answer 6

There are support groups throughout the country that help guide you through the grief process. The worst thing you can do is suppress your feelings is an attempt to "move on".

There is no prescribed time limit to grief. Some people fins themselves stuck in grief for years because they don't know how to allow themselves to travel that painful road.

Do a search on Griefshare.org and type in your zip code where is says "find a group near you".

My prayers are with you.

Answer 7

usually people go through 5 stages of grieving according to kubler ross the first will be denial where you will have trouble believing what actually happen is true the second will be. Next is angrier usually people will become made at God for taking this person away from you then bargaining then depression and after a while time will heal everything and you will be able to go on with your life and accept it

Answer 8

I lost my father almost 10 years ago..... and it is still a difficult thing to get over. I have learned in time you can feel less hurt, but the memory stays. Just try to remember the good times you had with the person who died. I know that has helped me in the past, but there will be days you feel that you need this person and they aren't there and that is when it hits you as if it had just happened.... been there love, wish you well!

Answer 9

Look me up next year and ask the me the same question. Depending on how close you were it may take longer.

If you were really close then maybe spend some time with his kids if that's possible. Talk to his wife and see if you can help out.

Crying is overrated in this case. It won't do much to make you feel better. Helping her and the kids out will be much more effective.

Answer 10

Grief usually comes in phases. at some point there will be a time when you do feel everything all at once, then denial, then acceptance then and only then you will be able to move on.

But i truly believe you will move on. we all deal with it in our own way and in our own time.
the above is some phases , some psychologist believe we all go through. take what you will from it.

it is a cliche but time does eventually heal!
( dont try to hide the fact you are grieving, it is a healthy reaction to a horrible event )