Mine:
A Pirate walks into a bar, with a steering wheel attached to his belt buckle.
The bartender takes one look at him and says "What the hell's with the steering wheel?"
The Pirate resonds, "YARGH! I know, It drives me nuts!"
GO!
2007-09-19 07:41:05 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
A pirate and his parrot, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a valiant battle. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, the pirate stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a Genie came forth. This particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving any thought to the matter the pirate blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into rum!" The Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest rum ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the Genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of rum on the hull broke the stillness as the two considered their circumstances. The parrot looked disgustedly at the pirate and after a tension-filled moment spoke: "Now yee've done it!! Now we're goon to have to pee in the boat."
2007-09-19 07:49:46 · answer #1 · answered by Armless Joe, Bipedal Foe 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"
The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party.
Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!"
Once again the battle was on. However, the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred.
Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?"
The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid."
The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way.
The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!"
2007-09-19 07:53:28 · answer #2 · answered by Jess H 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Two pirates walk into a bar. In there they find jinenglish68 causing a ruckus, knocking drinks out of peoples hands and ruining everyone's fun. One pirate leans over to the other and says "think he's got scurvy mate?" The other looks at him and replies "nah...he's just an arrrrrrrse."
I probably could've done better, but I'm going home now. Pasta be unto you.
2007-09-19 07:58:21 · answer #3 · answered by Southpaw 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
edit: Dammit! Catherine types faster than me.
A ship was out to sea for not even a day before a pirate flag was spotted on the horizon. The captain turned to his first mate and ordered, "fetch me my red shirt"
After a furious battle, the men successfully fought off the pirates. His men asked the captain why he changed shirts before the battle. He replied, "I needed all your attention on the battle. If you had seen me bleeding and become concerned for me, you might have lost your nerve. That's what my red shirt is for."
Several days later three ships with pirate flags are spotted coming toward them. The captain turned to his first mate and said, "Fetch me my brown pants."
2007-09-19 08:54:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Q: Why wasn't the little pirate boy allowed to see the movie?
A: Because it was rated "arrrrrrr!"
Edit: ooh Rachel! never heard about the "booty" part of this joke! the lameness IS what makes this funny, though... it always gets a laugh. lol
2007-09-19 08:29:10 · answer #5 · answered by PediC 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If something is going nicely, then you ought to bypass all squinty eyed and say the be conscious "yar" a lot. Yar is a be conscious that describes the characteristic of a deliver that is rapid and maneuverable, and subsequently a boon to a pirate. yet another stable factor is to assert "aye" for particular and "nay" or "destructive" for no. If heads ought to roll, then "there will be the devil to pay", which refers back to the old job of doing the worst accountability in a shipyard, putting tar on the keel. The keel grow to be commonly used as "the devil", and "to pay" something grow to be to place tar or pitch on it. So whilst there grow to be the devil to pay, that meant that something very undesirable grow to be coming down the pike. in case you desire to bypass perfect and left, then you utilize the words "starboard" and "port", respectively. or you could bypass incredibly old college and use the words "starboard" and "larboard", respectively. merely undergo in strategies left and port the two have 4 letters. strolling the plank = undesirable information. somebody who's fired, say, may well be compelled to stroll the plank, that's the practice of pulling up close to a small abandoned island, while you're fortunate, and forcing a guy or woman to bypass away the deliver by using a plank. even worse may well be "keelhauling". this may well be the practice of punishing somebody interior the main painful way available. In nautical words, a guy or woman who have been given into concern might have a rope tied to arms and ft and thrown from the front of the deliver. His physique might then be used to scrape off the barnacles that had grown on the keel for the finished length of the deliver. So no longer in user-friendly terms grow to be the destructive fella virtually drowned, he grow for use as a scouring pad. for helpful, few survived the technique of keelhauling. I easily have extra. permit me know in case you choose it.
2016-10-19 02:59:39 · answer #6 · answered by saucier 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I already told you mine, it's super-lame and that's what makes it great.
Did you hear about the new pirate movie?
It's rated arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Do you know why?
Because of all the booty!!
2007-09-19 08:45:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why did the pirate sneak into a movie? Because it was rated ARRRRR!!
2007-09-19 07:48:07 · answer #8 · answered by Amanda 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
my favorite pirate joke is all the people who think they are pirates today.
2007-09-19 07:45:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Arrrr. That be my favorite too.
2007-09-19 07:47:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋