How should I start off this letter to my pastor about something I really didn't agree with?

Question

A couple weekends ago we had a youth conference at my church. We had teenagers from all across Nebraska there.

Towards the beginning of the service they showed this "good idea/bad idea" video. It would be like "good idea, invite your friends to church- BAD idea, invite your friends to church by bribing them with beer" and there were people acting it out. then there were a few more good/bad idea thingies with people acting them all out

One said "Good idea- go to your school's FCA (fellowship of christian athletes) meeting. BAD idea- go to your school's GSA (gay straight alliance) meeting."

and the way they said it was just really rude and MAKING FUN of homosexuals and people who agree with homosexuals.

One girl walked out. I got really angry. THAT'S how we're showing Christ's love?! It wasn't very funny to me.

My youth pastor was gone last week, but tonight at church I'm going to give him a letter saying what I thought about it. CONTINUED IN DETAILS...

I'm not going to be rude about it. I just want to say something so nothing like that happens again.

How can I start off this letter?! What should I/should I NOT say?!

I want to sound intelligent, and not like I'm just ranting about something I didn't agree with.

I just want the letter to be effective...

HELP?!?!

thanks

Answer 1

I would say: stay objective. State your feelings clearly, and don't let the feelings themselves cause you to say hurtful or rude things.

From the tone of your question, I doubt you would be tempted to say hurtful or rude things anyway.

How about starting with something like: Dear Pastor Smith, Something happened at the Youth Conference that troubles my spirit. I felt this was very unChristian and unloving...

then explain what happened.

I think you are very brave for wanting to stand up for this. Lots of str8 Christians would just let it slide.

Answer 2

My advice...keep it short, phrase it as a question (or series of questions), and leave the ball in his court to provide an answer...you might go so far as to request a meeting to discuss the issue. This will give you the opportunity to hear his open response...and thus, to judge whether you think his view is consistent with what you believe about the love of Christ.

I'd do something like this...

Dear Pastor ???

I'm troubled about something that happened at the youth conference last week. I need your help to resolve my conflict between what I believe about the love of Christ and what I saw on Saturday morning (replace with whatever time you really saw the video).

Most of the "good idea/bad idea" video was very funny; however, the part that suggested going to your school's GSA meeting came across as rude...as if the actors were making fun of homosexuals. Others laughed but I didn't think it was funny and one girl appeared to be offended (or hurt) enough to leave the room.

Am I wrong in thinking that Jesus commanded us to love everyone? Is poking fun at other people a way to show our love for them? Would it be funny to say, "Good idea, talking about your faith with Christian friends -- bad idea, talking to sinners about anything". Please help me understand how this part of the video is any more appropriate that racist or sexist jokes.

...good luck.

Answer 3

So it sounds to me that this is a question of doctrine. I'm not sure this is the right church for you if following the teachings of the Bible is your church's doctrine. Don't write a letter at all, just find a more "secularly thinking" church. Showing Christ's love doesn't neccessarily mean supporting a lifestyle. If you truly want to show a person of the gay persuasion that you love them, inform them that they are pursuing a life of sin that will condemn them in the afterlife. If they do not believe that the Bible is truly God's word, then they should not worry. But what if they're wrong? It's very clear in the Bible how God feels about homosexuality. Not trying to start a war here, just stating the obvious.

Answer 4

user-friendly - don't have his brother carry out the ceremony. enable him be a customer merely like all and sundry. i don't comprehend what denomination he's however the Methodist doctrine says a pastor is meant to tips with the couple in the past marriage. you're marrying into this kin understanding they're non secular. how can you experience approximately Christian holidays and the occasion of them by employing your husband and his kin. Do they comprehend you're an atheist? have you ever and FH pronounced the elevating of any infants interior the church or having them baptized etc? I basically carry this up because of the fact those sorts of issues can do harm to a marriage in the event that they have not been pronounced past to the marriage. i'm no longer finding so which you would be able to reply to the above, I merely comprehend how they are in a position to impact a marriage. i'm hoping you and FH can come to an contract on your wedding ceremony and which you have a protracted and chuffed existence mutually.

Answer 5

You are walking some dangerous ground here. I can see you're already aware of that, as you're looking for a way to raise your concerns appropriately.

To what extent was your youth pastor involved in the content of the video? Do you personally know his own views on this matter? You may want to consider whether he will be able to hear and understand what bothered you about the rude attitude toward homosexuals. You know, of course, that this is practically the accepted mainstream Christian attitude, unfortunately, and challenging it even in moderate terms can be very touchy. If the pastor himself was not very involved in choosing the material, make it clear that you are not attacking him or holding him responsible for something he might not have had control over.

If I were you, I would start by affirming what you appreciated about the conference and some positive things you came away with from it. You might also want to add that you are writing to your youth pastor because you feel he will be able to understand where you are coming from with your objection--that people, who need Christ, are being mocked and denigrated where they need to be loved and ministered to. What is your purpose in making your objection known? What do you want to change, and how will writing to the youth pastor bring about change? Those are a couple of questions you should try to answer for yourself as you compose your letter.

Most importantly, focus on your wish to reach out to people as a believer, not shut them out through ridicule or judgement. You are right, this does not reflect Christ's way. He chose to spend time with the "religious rejects" of his own age. Please avoid coming across as self-righteous on the other side, though. That's an easy trap to fall into, when you feel strongly about something.

It's a hard letter to write and I wish you the best.

Answer 6

To sound credible, avoid sounding like you approve of gay-straights alliances. If you sound like you agree with it, your letter will be put aside without further thought.

Express your worries of adressing to teenagers a sensible subject better left to adults to sort. That you are worried about the reactions you saw that could lead to intolerance and prejudice. Give an exemple of what you saw and how you think the teens who saw this might react violently towards homosexuals and their supporters instead of forgiveness and love of Christ. Ask if this is the sort of attitude christians are supposed to show to gays, muslims, buddhists, afro-americans, people with AIDS, etc?...

Also, you could point out that the video showed that teens consumed alcool (and perhaps drugs), while the vast majority don't. That this image is grossely misrepresentative and was a poor attempt to sound "cool".

Having two subjects will show the pastor, not that you approve of homosexuality (which could cause you some trouble), but that the way of presenting the messages during the youth conferences.

Answer 7

Dear Pastor So and So,

I wanted to take a moment and discuss with you some feelings I had regarding our recent youth conference. I attended the video presentation of "good idea/bad idea" and it made me uncomfortable.

I feel that the way it treated homosexual individuals was rude and condescending. While I understand the church has negative views about this lifestyle, I feel that it is not an effective way of communicating this belief by belittling and portraying these people in an unchristian-like manner.

I would like to speak with you about your thoughts on this. I am concerned that we are hurting more people than we are helping.

Sincerely

Answer 8

It is OK to express your feelings that that video was wrong even if it did teach correct principles in it. You should also remember those who are responsible for making and showing the movie are just human too they are not perfect as was Jesus. You also need to be careful you don't let this get to you in a way that makes you also lose site of the Goodness of the church and the leaders as they try to teach correct principles. Or in other words after showing you do not approve of making fun of those who are Homosexual you should let the matter run off your back like a water runs off of a ducks back. That hard feelings do not make you sin by holding a grudge against those who do not feel as you do after all this is what started it all in the first place and charity and change by love need to start with you also.

Answer 9

Wow I totally agree just because we don't believe homosexuality is right doesn't mean we should make fun of them. (not very Christ like)

anyway I would say something like -

Dear Pastor (insert name) I'm writing this letter because of a video they showed at the youth conference. Their was a
scene where homosexuals were being made fun of and honestly I found the video very disrespectful and not very Christ like. I know are religion might not agree with homosexuals life style and I'm not saying we should, but I don't think this video was appropriate. I don't think Christ would have approved of this video and if he wouldn't have nether should we.

I just wanted to let you know how I felt and it it my hope that we can avoid such videos in the future.

sincerely (your name)

and you might want to say something about how it is hypocritical for Christians to preach about love, forgiveness and acceptance but then make fun of a sinner, and say something about how we are all sinners, none are better then any other so why should we degrade others.

Answer 10

If our Goal is to fish for men so that our Lord can clean them, what do we accomplish but chasing off the fish?



We have events at our church like that, I think the video should have been screened first, by those in charge. I don't think mocking or making fun will bring anyone around, I don't however excuse what is clearly wrong in the bible. But there are tactful ways of doing things.