I have a friend who has been depressed for a while, i know that she cut herself and cried herself to sleep every night because she had told me this. I had comforted her and got her out of cutting herself about 2 months ago, but she has told me that she has started again recently(i have seen scars accidently) I dont know what to do about it, i feel uncomfortable everytime she brings it up. I have used the same technique as i did last itme but it doesn't seem to work. She has recently asked what i think the best way to commit suicide is. I am really worried and need any advice from people who have been through hers or my situation. Maybe she wants me to intervene in some way, because she told me about it? Is it a crave for attention?
Please help asap.
2007-09-19 07:15:43 · 23 answers · asked by themysteryfly 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
You just need to be there for her and stay by her side thru this. This is tough for you, but you wouldn't imagine how tough it is on her. I have been on both sides. I used to be a cutter and have been clinically depressed for years. Honestly, I don't remember what got me out of it. I think it was just the good friends I had close to me to help me thru it all.. Please do whatever you can to always be there for her. I lost my best friend 2 years ago to suicide. I was not there for him like I should have been. Everyone else in his life turned their backs on him, and he had nobody. I was not around for him when he needed me the most. I do blame myself because I feel if i was there, I could have prevented it. I know in my heart that I could not have done anything, but I still hurt so badly due to my guilt for not being there for him. Don't leave her side. Make sure that she knows she is loved and that you do care for her. I am sure that she does want you to intervene, or she wouldn't have told you. Professional help is an option, but in my friends case, it only made him worse. I hope this helped some. This is a sore subject for me.. I doubt it is a crave for attention. Just pay attention to what she says and take her seriously... Good luck!
2007-09-19 07:48:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Foxymoron, go to hell.
As for your friend, I feel the same way. I want to cut myself/kill myself, so I partially know what you're talking about. She's asking you because she wants you to help her, or be there for her. Hugging her could help.
You need to tell someone. Tell a counselor, a nice teacher, someone who you know you can trust. I wouldn't tell the parents(not first anyways) and I'd make sure that if she got called up by the school to the office that you'd be there for her. Just don't leave her and if she asks about suicide, hug her and tell her youre her best friend.
Notes:
* Don't say you'll feel bad if she commits suicide, she'll feel worse. Tell her you're her best friend and you don't want her to die instead.
* Stay with her as much as you can. Get her to sleep over so she feels better being around you more often.
* If you really think she is going to kill herself, which, from what you say, I don't think she will, I think it's more of her wanting you to tell her you'll always be there for her, call the police or the hospital. They'll know what to do. Normally, you won't go to a psych ward or anything. The people your friend will see want to help her. They'll only put her in the ward if she can't control herself. As long as she can control herself, and you are there for her, she should come out OK.
* If she cries, sit down next to her and try to comfort her.
* Be around her as much as you can. Not like a stalker, but show her you really care about her.
Btw, foxymoron you are an asshole for saying what you said.
2007-09-19 17:23:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to go is to have a contract with your friend. Make her promise to you that she will not commit suicide that day (Or for what duration you choose). It may not seem like enough but it works. It gives a suicidal person something to follw. A guideline. Also, keep her away from things that she may use to hurt herself. And please get help from a professional ASAP.
Suicide is often not executed by an individual if keep talking about it. Because when they are still talking about commiting suicide, they are still drepressed, and being depressed they do not have ths strength to commit the act. Be wary when it seems that your friend is getting better. It is only when the drepression is lifting that individuals have the strength to commit suicide.
2007-09-19 07:23:47 · answer #3 · answered by gracie644 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost, realize that YOU are not in control of the situation, therefore you will not be responsible for your friends actions. You don't say how old the friend is so this is a blind advice...she needs to get help, but may be in no condition to seek it personally. I would recommend that you speak to a parent if she is a minor. If she is not, I would recommend that you contact a mental health professional and try your best to get your friend to go to an appointment. You sounds like a very sensitive and warm friend, realize that sometimes friends also have to take the hard road. I wish you well on your endeavor.
2007-09-19 07:33:30 · answer #4 · answered by forensicscoach 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though your friend needs more than a friend that will listen. I highly recommend speaking to her parents and informing them about the cutting and talk of suicide.
I realize this may put you in a difficult position and you may feel guilty or feel that you are betraying her trust. Please understand that isn't the case. This is a very serious situation and informing those who love her and can help is the best way for you to help her.
Any talk of suicide should be taken seriously and reported to family, loved ones, a counselor or teacher, immediately.
This may be a difficult thing to do, but doing what is best for a friend in this type of situation isn't always easy.
Prayers and best wishes to you!
2007-09-19 07:37:55 · answer #5 · answered by Kat T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from the point of someone who has been in the place of your friend, i would talk to her and tell her that nothing is worth her killing her self. Talk to her and ask her what is the reasonshe wants to kill herself. No matter what she says or does just stick by her. she needs your friend ship, even if she denys it. I know how hard this can be because i have put my friends through it. and i thanked GOD for the friends I had left after i decided not to. I am now a architect about to be married. All thank to my friends. So stay strong and stay by her side.
2007-09-19 07:46:04 · answer #6 · answered by misst 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter if it is for attention or not, you still need to take it seriously. When you're seriously depressed you need a lot of attention, and reassurance as you feel very alone with little or no self esteem.
What you can do is be there for your friend as a friend, as you have been.
Another thing would be to get help for her. Somebody suggested samaritans, they can ring your friend for you. Also get support for yourself, you will need it. It is not easy looking after somebody that is depressed (it made me depressed looking after my father). Also if you talk to a therapist for your own support you could also ask them for advice.
If your friend is in immenant danfer of commiting suicide (i.e. are going to do it now), call the emergancy services such as an ambulance if they have done something or the police (who can take them to a place of safety until they are assessed).
Good luck
2007-09-19 10:18:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend crying out for help or attention isn't the question really. Are you willing to take the risk of making the wrong assumption! If she's truly your friend, she will understand if you take my following advice. Go to the authorities, Call 911, take her to the nearest hospital, they will at minimum hold her for a 72 hour evaluation, here is the # to the national suicide prevention hot line- call them they are the professionals1-800-273-8255. Call,if you care,suicide is nothing to hesitate with!!!
2007-09-19 07:32:15 · answer #8 · answered by Melika 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her parents ASAP! If she's an adult, tell other family members. The more people who know the better. Who knows whats at the root of her problems, but love from those who care about her will definitely help out in the start.
She needs some serious long term counseling though.
2007-09-19 07:21:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get some professional help for your friend and fast. She is obviously severely depressed. Seek the help of a doctor or a counsellor who will be able to send her to a psychologist. In the meantime, point out to her that Satan would love her to take her own life, so God obviously has some amazing plan to use her in the future or Satan wouldn't be trying so hard to get her to destroy her life.
2007-09-19 07:24:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋