I have a friend, I love her dearly, but she has no manners and routinely uses words like "mouff" for mouth, "teef" for teeth and says things like "is you" instead of are you.
It's embarrasing, and I'm embarrased to bring her around my friends and family. How can I break it to her that this is unacceptable?
2007-09-19 06:53:48 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
If she says something like this:
Is you gonna brush yer teef?
Just restate the question and answer the corrected form:
"Are you going to brush your teeth?"
Yes, I am going to brush my teeth.
See what I mean?
Just repeat what she says in the correct English--to clarify you actually understood her--and answer the corrected statement.
I have a best friend in the whole world who uses "ain't" instead of isn't even though I've corrected her for fifteen years. I've confronted her outright, gently, restated her statements--doesn't matter--she doesn't want to change her incorrect speech.
I personally think that anyone who doesn't purpose to improve themselves in the general area of speech has a lack of understanding about how everyone assesses speech.
For example, my dear friend is quite intelligent and a wonderful person BUT I am sure there are many people who wouldn't give her the time of day because her speech reflects an uneducated person.
2007-09-19 10:40:35 · answer #1 · answered by steinbeck11 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well I wouldn't use the word "unacceptable" first of all, because having bad speech isn't unacceptable. Who knows what her upbringing was like? Maybe she doesn't know better. I mean, if she's your friend you should accept it as one of her quirks and not be embarassed. That being said, you can help her gain respect through speech by offering to help. Maybe joking around you can say, "mouf? what's a mouf?" and kind of work from there. If she is your friend, she'll appreciate the help. I can relate it to someone who has a booger in their nose or something on their mouth, like mustard. I would rather be told and fix it than look stupid and embarass myself all the time.
2007-09-19 07:35:17 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't do this in public, that would be rude.
The best you can do is to say something in private like, "Susie, I don't know if you realize, but when you say 'mouth' it comes across as 'mouff,' and I worry that you might be misunderstood."
She might have a speech impediment that causes this problem, and could tell you to back off. Or, she could accept and appreciate your suggestion in private.
Either way, it is her decision to change or not.
Good luck!
2007-09-19 07:03:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Having manners and pronouncing words incorrectly are two totally different things.
You should never, ever correct a friend's speech in public or anywhere else for that matter.
If you are so humiliated by her speech then it sounds like you are the one with the real problem--not her...
She may be a good friend to you, but you are nowhere near the same to her.
Do her a favor and cut her loose, it is obvious you see her as a charity case.
2007-09-19 07:22:53 · answer #4 · answered by joellemoe 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I'm sorry; I don't think that unsolicited "corrections" of a person's speech are appropriate. I recently had an experience where a person I trust appeared to be questioning my judgment and behavior and it was AWFUL. I would hate for your friend to be subjected to something similar.
2007-09-19 18:06:27 · answer #5 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if your friend speaks like that, with the speech impediment and mispronunciation, it shouldn't really matter. But manners on the other hand are important.
Just set a good example.
2007-09-19 07:19:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just impress on her, on how she would be respected for her status and standing by improving the speech for others acceptance! The best course would be to take to a third person like a speech therapist who can advice better than you for her acceptance to improve her speech and she would really take interest to be successful to the level of your acceptance!
2007-09-19 07:33:56 · answer #7 · answered by anjana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not correct anyone in public.
IF she is a REALLY good friend, when you are one on one with her you can let her know that this kind of speech reduces her perceived IQ significantly, and you know how bright she is.
It might be a speech impediment and it might be an accent.
Either way, if this is a friendship killer for you, than so be it. I've never asked any of my friends to change for me, and they've never asked me to change for them.
2007-09-19 07:11:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
there are people who dind't go to school and talk like this..i graduated the faculty of languages and literatures and i like very much to hear people talking like this..naturally..you musn't correct her in public...
she will learn from you how to talk..without giving he lessons..
it is bad idea to correct her.
my husband has attended the faculty of Laws and doesn't know how to spell some particularities from grammer..and i never told him..he always asks me when he sends mesages from home..spelling and pronounciation are not bad manners ..only saying the ****, sucks and **** and others are bad manners.
2007-09-20 00:41:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In private, talk to her. Never in public.
2007-09-19 06:58:59 · answer #10 · answered by merrybodner 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋