I am desperately trying to convince my intended that I do not want a diamond engagement ring (reasons: potential for buying a 'blood diamond', personal taste and the cost).
He doesn't want to hear it. Any ideas on how I can convince him?
He is the most wonderful guy in the world, but he can be stubborn on things he feels are important (such as what an engagement ring is supposed to look like).
I don't want to be a diva and tell him "this is what I want or else!" I really want him to like the ring, too.
Any ideas on how I might try to convince him that stones other than diamonds are wonderful options???
2007-09-19 06:25:22 · 24 answers · asked by nova_queen_28 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Let me clarify - - we're not fighting or arguing constantly. We just seem to disagree about what we both like and what our concept of an engagement ring is. If we weren't having open communication I wouldn't be asking the question here.
We initially were not in perfect agreement about size and type of wedding but we compromised.
Any relationship requires compromise.
If he proposed with a diamond ring I wouldn't say no! My point is that he is discussing this with me (so he seems to want my opinion) and we just disagree and I am looking here to see if anyone has come to a compromise in a similar situation.
Thanks!
2007-09-19 07:07:05 · update #1
There are many diamonds available that aren't blood diamonds - such as Canadian polar diamonds. Or just get a CZ, they are lovely!
A compromise would be to have something like a pink topaz with diamond shoulder stones.
If I were you, I would just leave it to him to choose - it's MUCH more special that way. I think it's crazy that the two of you are haggling over this at all!
2007-09-20 00:03:41 · answer #1 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember that a diamond will last forever, where as other stones aren't as tough and durable. I too didn't want a "blood diamond" after watching that movie!! Turned out, my fiance ended up giving me his great-grandmother's ring which is 97 yrs old!!! We had to buy a new band for it, but it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and it has such a meaning to it as well. So maybe try to do some searching see if you can get a family diamond. That's just an idea that might help the two of you come to an agreement.
If not, you two will really have to talk about this, and if he really wants to get you a diamond, I'd almost say let him.
2007-09-19 06:36:18 · answer #2 · answered by m930 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wait, wait, wait. If he proposed with a diamond ring, you would tell him "no"?!? Even though you supposedly love him sooo much and he's just the greatest guy in the world?!? PLEASE! You can't be serious! You're totally contradicting everything you're saying!
I'm pretty certain the reason he wants to get you a diamond ring is because he wants only the best for you and was probably brought up more traditionally. If he buys the ring from a commercial retailer, the chances of him getting a blood diamond are pretty slim to none. I can understand your personal taste preferences, but please try to understand this man is only trying to give you something he thinks you deserve because he loves you. He not intentionally trying to aggravate you or anything. If I were you, I'd be a lot more appreciative than you're acting.
2007-09-19 07:36:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could compromise and get a ring with some small diamonds in it, this will bring the cost down.
I agree with you about blood diamonds but you can get a certificate that states the diamonds are conflict free.
I personally don't like diamonds in a ring all that much either but they have an important symbology of being one of the strongest substances known to man along with the symbology of the ring being everlasting.
2007-09-19 19:32:51 · answer #4 · answered by Roxy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you seem to have an open and understanding relationship, I would really just sit down with him and explain why you don't want a diamond. Maybe ask him why he thinks an engagement ring has to be a diamond? I've seen gorgeous rings with everything from rubies to onyx. I would just tell him that it would REALLY bother you to wear a diamond, and hopefully he'll understand. Good luck!
2007-09-19 07:44:06 · answer #5 · answered by Smash 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being that his position is not rational, you can't convince him using rational arguments. It blows my mind that a guy would care that much about what a ring looks like, I can't even imagine arguing about this with my husband. My ring is blue topaz, both of us picked it out together - well, I picked it out, he was just there to keep me company. I could have chosen any ring I wanted, or no ring at all; jewelry is not his department, and he happily deferred to my judgment. In your case, I'd say go with a diamond, or risk souring your relationship; if for him it's a matter of principle, and for you it isn't, then you should accommodate him for the sake of keeping the peace.
2007-09-19 06:58:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sent my boyfriend pictures of engagement ring styles I liked. Mine happened to be diamonds, but there were many sites I found that had others as well. Look at those and send him a "this is my style" e-mail (or whatever, look with him if that's your thing). It's not a this is what I Absolutely have to have, but it gives him an idea of what you'd like.
Edit: I just remembered something else. If you want that Diamond/clear jem look, maybe he can get a white sapphire? They have the look of a diamond, but you'll know the truth.
2007-09-19 06:35:58 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. Smith 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can consider moissanite which is a beautiful stone that is similar to a diamond... he might go for that, it's usually cheaper than a diamond and far more brilliant. But then again, it may not fit in with your "personal taste" so just look around. These days there are plenty of people who don't have diamond engagement rings.
2007-09-19 06:31:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
traditionally, the man chooses the ring and offers it as a gift. if you wouldn't tell someone at say... Christmas i only want this kind of gift, i wouldn't do it to the groom to be either. i do feel ya though... my ideal ring would be a large ruby with tiny diamonds surrounding it with a platinum band... ( i know just what i want ). the only thing you can do is tell him what you would like and try to compromise... maybe look on the Internet and print some stuff out and give him some ideas... if he is just trying to picture it in his head... well, there is the problem.... :-)
2007-09-19 06:36:41 · answer #9 · answered by Jeanette 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about a moissanite? Looks like a diamond but isn't. White topaz or white sapphire might work too.
Your goal here should be compromise. Neither should have to "give in" or '"win" and you should both be reasonably happy with your final decision.
2007-09-19 06:47:14 · answer #10 · answered by SUSAN P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋