I am adopted and looking for my mother and sister.?

Question

I really don't know a lot about the laws regarding adoption. I have looked up some stuff here and there and have tried some things but haven't gotten too far. My adoption was arranged before I was born. My mother was only 16 and her parents wouldn't let her keep me. I was born in Illinois in 1985, so I am 22 now. I also found out I have a half sister who was born in 1983. My adoption was a private adoption which is no longer legal. The lawyer who handeled the case was an older lady and she is now deceased. I tried to get in contact with her family to get ahold of any paperwork but I couldn't reach anyone. I have talked to the hospital I was born at and they have not helped me at all. My mother did sign papers that said once I turn 18 I could contact her. Apparently there is a paper with her name address and some other info that I can get, but I don't know how. If anyone can help me it would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

Illinois laws at a glance Parenthesis are my personal feelings twords the laws in this state:

Obtaining Non-Identifying Information: For private adoptions, an adopted adult may obtain non-identifying information. For adoptions facilitated through the State Department of Child and Family Services, adopted adults, natural parents, and adoptive parents may receive non-identifying information.
Obtaining Identifying Information: Identifying information is provided through an Adoption Registry.

( Does anybody else laugh out loud at this? Identifying information will be provided THROUGH an adoption registry. So what does this REALLY mean? You pay a few hundred dollars to register in a registry, HOPE that your other family member separated by adoption ALSO pays the fee, and registers and IF a match is made, THEN they’ll provide the two identifying information?

Just go to http://www.isrr.net and register for free with them. They are the worlds largest soundex, offline, legitimate ( unlike myself ) reunion registry. Until we get these laws changed. This is nothing shy of a complete discrimination against adoptees to recieve identifying information on THEIR SELVES. We are talking about ADULTS requesting information on themselves, original birth certificates. ADULTS making a decision to find our family separated by adoption CAPABLE of handling a reunion on our own. The state has already made money off of us via our adoption, and does NOT need to profit anymore through REUNION. We can speak for ourselves, and should be entitled just like any non adopted family who has lost contact, to do it on our own terms, remember we are ADULTS.
Should you decide to fork up the money and sign up anyways, heres the address…..Also, research the statistics on reunion outcomes when CI’s are involved, get everything in paper first, and sue when they mess the reunion up for you.

Confidential Intermediary Service
3158 Des Plaines River Road
Suite 120
Des Plaines, IL 60018
[phone]; [phone]
[phone] (fax)
Using the Adoption Registry: Natural parents, adopted adults 21 or older, adopted adults younger than 21 with the consent of their adoptive parents, and natural siblings 21 or older may use the registry. Adoptive parents, adopted adults, first parents, and natural siblings may exchange updated medical information throughout the life of the adopted adult. The registry also may act as an intermediary if either party does not want to be contacted. All parties also may exchange pictures and written statements through the registry.
Contact:
Illinois Adoption Registry and Medical Information Exchange (IARMIE)
Department of Public Health
Division of Vital Records
535 West Jefferson Street
Springfield, IL 62761
[phone] or toll-free in Illinois [phone]
Supervisor Faye Bruns
http://www.idph.state.il.us/vital/iladoptreg.htm

Obtaining an Original Birth Certificate: An adoptee may receive through the registry or petition the court in which the adoption was finalized.

As of Jan 1, 2004 not only will adult adopted persons, and adopted parents on behalf of minor adopted children, be able to petition the court, but also adult children of a deceased adopted person, adult siblings of a adopted person if the natural parent is deceased , natural parents, and adult siblings of a deceased birth parent (otherwise aunts & uncles of the adopted person). All of these people will now be able to register with the Illinois Adoption Registry for a match or will be able to petition the court for appointment of a CI(Gee thanks, now you can petition the court to get a CI too!! More paperwork and twice the hassel!And that is because….. )As of July 2003 there is no longer a court petition fee but the service still remains. And Judges no longer can deny a petition as it is part of the law. ( So this means that you have to petition even though they can’t deny it…but the CI won’t be appointed unless you petition, even though the answer will always be to appoint one. Hmm )

http://www.idph.state.il.us/vitalrecords/adoptioninfo.htm

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Searching groups for Illinois:

Aborns Illinois Adoption resources (http://www.aborn.faithweb.com/State/Answered/Illinois/AbornsILData.html ) CHECK HERE FIRST!- loaded with useful information

Quad States Lost Angels in Adoption( http://groups.yahoo.com/group/QuadStatesLostAngelsInAdoption/ ) - Our group is for venting, search and support. Although we offer search help offered in four [Ia, Il, WI, NE] states; help or refferals for others will be offered.

Misc. useful links:

ISRR( http://www.isrr.net ) - A MUST!! - The International Soundex Reunion Registry. A MUST!!!






Now that i have posted that up, i'd like to address what you think is the paper your mother has signed to release her information to you. If this is true, then perhaps she has signed the registry which all you have to do is sign up and then you'll be put into contact. If its through the lawyer in your adoption file, then that may be a problem since you can't contact the lawyer. Contact me if you need more help or find me at http://www.adultadoptees.org I'm gershom there, just like here.

Answer 2

I was adopted internationally (language barrier) I found a man who lived where I was born that spoke english and he found my family for me. If you can't physically go there to search, it helps to have someone there locally to do the leg work and translations. I was looking through ads on a site and saw that someone was looking for a product on the island I was born, the man that answered this spoke english and knew my family, the next day I had all the answers I'd been searching for for 20 years. You must of course have information to aid in the search. I had a private adoption, knew my parents names and my name at birth. My sister who was also adopted and had the same information I did went to the island and found our family. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

I'm wondering how you found out about your half sister. Have you asked for the help of your adoptive parents?

I also don't understand what you mean by a private adoption being no longer legal. Just curious.

Answer 4

I'm very sorry this has happen, and noone seems to be helping. I have too tried to research a bit and have found NO helpful information either, although I would assume that your birth certificate would have both names listed (??), or that the adoption agency HAS to keep files of past adoptions....even though this type is no longer allowed....I mean if she signed papers then they almost have to keep them on file, and techniclly should have handed them to you on your 18th birthday..IMO. Have you tried contacting a lawyer who specializes in adoptions??? I'm almost positive they will be able to find something...good luck

Answer 5

well why don't you just call the hospital and ask if there is any info that they have and if they say no then just keep trying but never give up maybe they have a state she lives in and a city then do 411 to find oout her number do something like that i know thats not alot of help but i feel bad that u never seen ur mother everything will be ok

Answer 6

I was adopted too and I found my family by coincidence. Try contacting whatever agency was used. They will be the ones holding all the files. Or your local division of youth and family services. Good luck. I wish you all the best.

Answer 7

Petition the court of where you were adopted do you know? you can also go to cousinconnect.com and put in there whom you are looking for i have found my parents and i even had two sisters. my parents got rid of me and kept the two sisters but they had the bad end. they were abused and it was horrible i feel for them. we were'tn ever to gether so i didn't grwo up with them i met them but nothing good came of it. they and i are just strangers. i hope it works out for you take care.

Answer 8

Wow, well, I really can't add anything better than what Gershom said!

Take Gersh's advice, she KNOWS what she is talking about. And come to www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index.php and have a look around. There are LOTS of us there who will support you, if nothing else.

I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 9

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