and my mom wants to spread his ashes in two weeks. She wants to do it where they first got together at this overlook of the lake. My question is, should I keep some of his ashes? I'm not sure what to do. Do you think that's weird? I'm not very religious, but is there any connection to a person's soul and their ashes. What would you do? Thanks for any input.
2007-09-19 06:08:07 · 54 answers · asked by kris10dice 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Thanks for all the advice. I really appreciate you taking the time to help out. After reading all the answers I think I've decided to keep some and then in the spring I will make a memorial by planting a tree over his ashes. He will always be in my heart. Thank you.
2007-09-19 06:38:53 · update #1
There is a better connection with your memories of him.
I think it'd be okay to keep some of the ashes if it's okay with your mom, but you might do better to put your connection with him into your memories of who he was, what you did together, that kind of thing.
My best wishes.
2007-09-19 06:11:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
First off, I'm sorry for your loss.
Whatever you feel you need to do is the right thing. I believe our bodies are just a vehicle for our souls. Your father is still very much alive, but just on a different plane. You will see him again some day. It's not weird to keep some ashes if it comforts you. But truthfully, those ashes are not him. You can get the same from keeping a shirt or keepsake. We are much more than our physical bodies. Your father wants you to do what will make you feel comfortable. You sound like a very caring person. I'm sure your father was the same way. Good luck with your decision.
2007-09-19 06:18:35 · answer #2 · answered by cutesy76 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not believe there is such a thing as a separate soul.
However, there is definitely a link between a daughter and her father. If keeping some of his ashes is important to you then talk to your mum about it.
Personally I think I would be happy with the pictures that I have of my parents in my house. At the moment I think I would rather be reminded of their lives rather than their death. However, since they are both still alive, I reserve the right to totally change my mind when the time comes.
Anyway, you should be doing what you and your mother want, not what some group of weirdos and nut jobs on YA suggest. Just because it is not rational or could be thought of as a bit weird does not mean that it is not what you want.
2007-09-19 06:20:06 · answer #3 · answered by Simon T 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have memories of your father. It is up to you if you want to keep what you feel would be a piece of him. You grieve right along with your mother. You should keep some ashes. If later on in life you chose to spread his ashes over a place that was special to you. A place that you and him shared , you will have him. Once he is gone you won't be able to get his ashes back. You do what makes you feel better. I'm am sorry for your lose. I will pray for you and your family. God Bless
2007-09-19 06:18:54 · answer #4 · answered by Me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I, for one, am glad you cared for your father enough to want to keep a tangible memory. My dad is 86, and I, too, will miss him when he is dead.
Perhaps, though, a picture of my dad is more to my liking. There is no connection of a dead person to his or her body, to say nothing of ashes; but if that seems to be what you need to recall what was good, kind and faithful about your dad, then if your mom does not object, keep a small portion.
I can see, too, why your mom feels the way she does. My parents have been married for 65 years. Surely, death and the loss it brings after so long with be hard for them. Some sense of closure that scattering ashes at a memorable site must surely be beneficial.
HTH
Charles
2007-09-19 06:17:49 · answer #5 · answered by Charles 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I would keep a bit of them, sealed into a locket maybe. Things like that are done a lot. It's not unusual at all. I don't think the soul is left in the ashes, the soul has already gone on to it's final reward. The ashes are only the remains of the earthly body.
2007-09-19 06:15:31 · answer #6 · answered by kj 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My Dad died a couple of years ago and we put his ashes in a mausoleum, that way we have a place to visit. It's not weird to keep some ashes. When it comes to dealing with grief, you should do what feels right to you. Don't try to keep other people happy or worry about what they think. In the end it's what's in you heart that matters! Do what you think will give you the most peace!
2007-09-19 06:14:54 · answer #7 · answered by lee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure if there is any connection to the soul thru ashes but I think keeping a small amount and maybe putting into a very small vesses would be fine, if it helps you feel like he is there with you better. I carry a rifle shell from my dads 21 gun salute, I have everyday since the funeral and everytime I put my hand in my pocket and feel that I smile.
Jim here.
2007-09-19 06:19:06 · answer #8 · answered by stars 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a Christian, but this isn't necessarily a religious answer. I'm also very sentimental. I don't think it's weird at all; I would definitely want to keep some of my loved one's ashes. You can get small urns that just hold a portion of the total ashes.
Now this may sound weird to some. At a funeral home I went to, they were displaying a "locket" that can hold a tiny amount of the loved one's ashes, to wear as a pendant. You can also look online. There are many options nowadays as alternatives to the basic ashes-holding urn.
My sympathies for your loss. My mom died six years ago and per her wishes she was cremated and buried on her mothers grave. I definitely would want something physical of my loved one to have, either to keep with me, or to visit (as I said) for sentimental purposes. (Feel free to e-mail me if you have questions or concerns.) God bless.
2007-09-19 06:16:48 · answer #9 · answered by kaz716 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think there is any connection between a person's remains and their soul. However, I had my son cremated. I could never bear to part with him, because even though I know that his spirit isn't in the urn, I feel like he is with me. It is symbolic. There are necklaces you can order from funeral homes that can keep a small quantity of ashes in them. If you wish to keep part of your father, I think that would be a great way to go for you. I have some ashes of my son set aside at the funeral home for just such a purpose.
2007-09-19 06:12:36 · answer #10 · answered by The Apple Chick 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is totally ok to keep some of his ashes... some people put a pinch in a small vial, some put them on a necklace... it's totally up to you.
My Dad died a year and a half ago... he wasn't creamated, or I would have kept just a bit of the ashes. The funeral homes have some really neat little things to keep the ashes in.
2007-09-19 06:12:46 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋